Day Dreaming...

Work has slowed down, finally. And with this extra time, my mind has been wondering and causing me to day dream.

A few moments ago I was looking at travel destinations. This time last year, Greg and I were talking about traveling together in the future. We talked about going on a cruise together, going to Japan, Australia, and many places in Europe. We've talked about road trips, moving to Washington state and visiting Alaska. We had a lot of ideas at that time, not knowing that I was pregnant (and I calculate that I became pregnant around Greg's birthday. LOL. Guess she was a birthday present from Greg to me).

And, with the post from Monday talking about Greg and I *thinking* about marriage (again, this is casual talk, nothing serious), I began to day dream about our honeymoon together and look up travel organizations and cruise ship information. I am thinking a cruise would be what I'd like to do. There are cruise lines that go to Europe rather than the typical Bahamas and St. something or other. There was also the Disney Cruise, but Greg's already done that and I would like to do something together that neither of us have done.

Greg and I were chatting online (Love Y! Messenger on my cellphone) and I was telling him about something that he does and how it makes me feel inside and the conversation lead to my fantasies/day dreams I have about our relationship. Yes, there are times that I lay in bed, sit at work, or what have you, that I day dream/fantasize about things Greg could surprise me with. A few, for example, that I've recently had are:

1. Greg leaves his work place to drive to the townhouse and leave a card or letter, a bouquet of flowers, or an orchid (something that I've been wanting for nearly a year) in my room for me to find when I get home. Especially if he knows I've had a stressful or bad day. I daydreamed about this scenario the morning I locked myself out of the townhouse. I was upset at myself and at Greg for snapping at me. When Greg arrived and we left, he turned left onto Mountain Rd instead of going on 100 and that is when I began to day dream that he was going to Giant to get me a card or something and to go back to the townhouse and leave it on my bed. Of course, that didn't happen and I didn't let it upset me that it didn't happen because in reality, I knew it wasn't going to happen.

2. The current set-up Greg and I have is that he comes over every Mon-Wed-Fri to help out with Amelia. Greg is suppose to leave work at 6pm and then drive to my place. I too get off of work at 6pm, but I stop in Elkridge to pick up Amelia from the babysitters and then head home. Usually, I can be home by 6:40-ish. Now, and this could be selfish of me, I do expect Greg to leave work as soon as he can, but rarely does he actually leave on time and this, at times, makes me annoyed. So, another fantasy I have envolves Greg leaving work early to get to the townhouse and start dinner so that when I arrive home, everything is in the process of cooking and he taks Amelia, changes her, feeds her and puts her to bed and then he and I can enjoy a nice dinner together. This fantasy I don't see happening until we're living together because I can see the roomates preventing the nice enjoyable dinner.

3. At times, I fantasize/day dream about his proposal of marriage to me. I wonder if he's going have Amelia be a part of it or not, if he's going to wait until we're alone doing something special together, or if he's going to to it in a public place, like at an O's game (wouldn't that be awesome!). Again, I am sure this event is going to be way in the future.

But mainly I dream about random things at random times. I really enjoy surprises and I live to give them too. I was so excited to be able to surprise Greg with a package mailed to his job and to learn that the package arrived on a day that was becoming more and more difficult for him. I like to sneak love notes in his lunches or hide them on his desk if I visit him at work or place a card in his overnight bag. And, all the things I do for Greg are the things I wish for. I would love to find little notes from Greg in my car or somewhere that I am not expecting to find one. I would love to see him walk in the door with flowers for me for no reason or for him to send me something to work. I've asked Greg why he doesn't write love notes and such and he says that isn't his 'style', he would rather tell me in person what he's feeling, which he does and often and it's great to hear. And, occasionally Greg will send me a wonderful email out of the blue, like the one on April 24th and it's things like that that I enjoy, but at times I wish for more surpries. I guess this is due to me always thinking of things for Greg, especially with Father's Day around the corner. I was going to surprise Greg with tickets to an O's game but I would rather let him pick out his seats. Last night I asked him if he wants to know what his main gift is going to be and he said yes and I told him and he seemed really excited about it, especially since there is a game on Father's Day.

Ugh, I can't wait until I get paid next week. I am down to $22 in the account. At least I have a full tank of gas and food in the house. I've been good with my money too! I've spent less than $500 this month and that is including my utilities and bills (but not including rent). Yay me! I am really hoping this check is going to be huge! I'll have 77 worked hours plus my commissions and bonuese from March and April. But, at the same time, there will be deductions; I am wondering if my insurance deductions, 401k, FSA, and Childcare expenses are going to be taken out of my first check. I also wonder if it the direct deposit is authorized by then. I guess I could ask the HR person about that.

I am feeling kind of indifferent today. I believe this has to do with the birth control, as I am in the 'inactive' phase (and I can already feel the signs of the impending cycle) and some other things on my mind.