Pillow Talk

Last night, or I should say this morning, Greg and I lied in bed and talked until 2am (nearly). We talked about so many things.

One topic was about the path of life we've lived. Mainly about his learning experience and mine with our past relationships and how we didn't listen to what our mind or 'gut instinct' was telling us. We both have one event that we would re-do if it were possible, but then we think about that if we hadn't done what we did then we probably would have never met. Which is possible, but I don't think it's entirely true. If we were meant to be together, as we both feel we are, then we would have found our ways to each other.

Another topic was about our life together as husband and wife. Greg feels in his heart that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. Greg wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows this as a fact for him. I then asked Greg what the delay is for proposing to me (aside from the obvious; moving, stress about moving, and money because of the impending moving) and he said that he isn't ready. I asked for a more detailed answer because if he said he knew in his heart that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then what isn't he ready for, and his response was that he isn't ready because he wants to make this proposal special and he hasn't thought of how, yet. He stated his last proposal kinda ruined it for any future proposal because he was able to make it perfect for her and in his eyes as well. I reminded him that I am not a high maintenance girl and that I am not expecting anything elaborate as his last proposal (but I am expecting Greg to do something better than Adam). I joked that I don't want him to propose to me by creating a sign with cups over 100 (apparently it has become pretty popular to wish someone happy birthday or to congratulate someone by placing cups to spell out words into the chain link fence on the overpasses in Maryland). His reply was: "That's perfect!" I smacked him, though I knew he was joking. But, basically, Greg wants this proposal to be meaningful, amazing, and best ever since it's going to be his last (as he has been engaged twice).

Hearing all of the above (both topics) made me feel really good about a lot of things. Hearing someone tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you gives one an amazing emotional rush. It's like someone choose you to start a whole new chapter in their life, someone wants you to be with them and experiance things together and be one. Then, hearing Greg tell me why he hasn't proposed to me (well, with a ring at least) also shows how, in a sense (and maybe no one but me will understand this feeling) he wants to make all my fantasies, day dreams, wishes, etc. come true; even the ones I haven't thought of yet. I don't have a fantisy about how Greg is going to propose to me. I don't have a dream wedding in my mind. The only things that I am wishing for at the moment is to find a place to live. The only things I am day dreaming about at the moment is how Greg and I are going to decorate our new place and a little about which engagement ring he's going to surprise me with (even though we haven't looked at any and I told him that I want him to choose the ring all by himself, since I want to be completely surprised), and a vacation.

Speaking of vacation, remember when I mentioned that Greg has three surprises that he's working on? Well, I got him to 'spill the beans' on one of the surprises and it's a trip to North Carolina. Though, we don't know if this will be happening since we haven't found a place to live. As for the other two surprises, well... one he forgot all about and can't remember what he was planning, and the other is the bigger surprise and he won't budge on any information.

I have a feeling that the rest of 2007 is going to be amazing and full of so many new things and experiences.