It has begun...

... tomorrow is THE DAY...

Last night, there was an email from The Condo Guy, confirming the meeting tomorrow and suggesting a time for us to meet (eight o'clock pm). I haven't replied, yet. I am in the progress of that task (among many others)...

Last night, Greg and I were so drained of energy. We were both confused as to why we felt to exhausted. But there were a couple highlights for the night:

Amelia and Greg got into a dispute... over... the spoon. Yes, Amelia has begun to take the spoon away and try to feed herself and WILL NOT allow you to take the spoon back unless you pry her sticky, wet, fingers away from the spoon, to which she will began to scream at the top of her lungs in protest. Wow. Last night, feeding Amelia, was interesting to say the least

I learned that Greg has begun thinking about proposing to me; he's already thought about his wording, the location, the time, and the ring. !!!!!!! This excites me to no end. And, what causes this utmost extreme excitement is that I have absolutely no idea what the ring is going to look like or when and where which means it's all a complete surprise; every bit of it (I have no idea what style ring (cut of the diamond, etc), if the ring is going to be gold, white gold, or platinum, etc). This tickles me pink with joy

It has been so busy at work. I am already getting frustrated and that isn't good. Oy, they need to hire more people and soon (for example, my referral). But, at least it's a short week for me AND I will be working a half day tomorrow, rather than a whole day and taking Friday off (which I am still going to do).

Have I mentioned how excited I am about what's about to happen? I am starting a whole new life (sorta). I am as excited as humanly possible yet scared shit less. What scares me is the finances (remember, Money is the root of evil and can ruin any and all relationships), Greg believes that we will be fine financially, but I am not feeling the belief. I guess, in a sense, I am still thinking about the relationship I had with Adam and when we first moved in together and all that ensued afterwards. But, to be fair, Greg has never been fired and has been at the same company for six years and then some; whereas Adam was constantly loosing his job which made the finances difficult, and I guess I am afraid of a repeat even though Greg is very secure in his job. GGGRRRR.

It's funny how Greg and I are worried about completely different things regaurding this move. I feel his worry is nothing (even though I can't mention it here) to really worry about because he hasn't had any issues with the place he's at now; and he feels my worry about the finances is petty since we both have jobs that pay very well. To each their own.

*** FF to 2:47pm ***

Ugh, I can't get over how busy I've been this week! Thank goodness it's a short week for me. I am feeling so frustrated, stressed, and over all not in a good mood; which i've expressed to Greg (to give him a heads up for tonight).

And, again, I've forgotten about the topics of discussion. God, I would suck in a book club group and had to host a meeting. My mind can not stay focused on anything now a days. I swear I have Adult ADD.

Wish me luck that I survive the rest of the day!

A Moment to Myself!

Can you believe that I am all alone (well, Amelia is asleep at the moment) for the first time in a lllooonnnggg time? Yeah, it's so freaking nice. Greg had to run into work for about an hour and his Mom and brother Ken are out and about; so it's just me and Flickr. I love Flickr; though we're having a 'fight' at the moment (won't let me do a mass upload so I have to upload every single picture manually).

This weekend was fast and Great!

I honestly don't remember what happened on Friday after work...

Saturday was a busy day! Greg and I headed down to Waldorf at 1pm and the drive was probably one of the most scariest drives I've ever driven only because there were so many accidents that happened on 95 and 495, one of which I witnessed as it happened right behind me and freaked me out. This accident occurred on 495 and I am going to assume the funeral procession that was going on the opposite side of 495 distracted someone because the next thing I saw was a cloud of dust and then this blue car spinning all over the place in the middle of 495; it was like a scene out of a movie. I had such an adrenaline rush watching it and I nearly stopped to get out of the car to help (First Responder classes kicking in) but I didn't want to risk getting hit myself since I was sure it would have been a multi car accident.

We finally made it to Waldorf around 2:30 and met Mom at The Buffet where Amelia was waiting for us. Greg and I were in such a shock when we saw Amelia because Mom had her all dressed in jeans and a cute top and 2 little pig tails in her hair!! Amelia looked so much older than 7 months; it totally freaked Greg and I. We were like, 'where's our little girl?'.

After lunch, we headed over to April's and hung out for about an hour and on the way home, my girlfriend Michele called because she was in town (she lives in Hagerstown) and wanted to get together. We ended up meeting her at the Wal-Mart at Arundel Mills Mall since Greg and I had to get some diapers and we wanted to look at some condo things. It was nice to see Michele, I haven't seen her since March.

It was about 8pm when Greg and I made it home and Amelia didn't go to bed until 9!

Today, Sunday, Greg and I hung out at the apartment for a while; delaying the inevitable: Greg going to work on a Sunday. We finally left a little after 2pm, drove by his job and there were too many people there, so we went to Giant to get some more juice and cookies (damn cycle made me eat the rest of the Chips Ahoy!) and then to Staples where we bought a receipt book for the babysitter (in order to get my money back, I need the babysitters signature as proof of payment) and then to Target. I was surprised Greg and I only spent $50 at Target; I was expecting our total to me much higher since we picked up a huge box of Pampers, wipes, bottles, nipples, and other small items for Amelia. But, I'm not complaining.

Well, to conclude this entry, please enjoy this clip of Amelia eating her Peas and Toes for dinner last night:

Date Night (sorta)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Greg S. [mailto:********@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2007 12:33 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: *Knock Knock*

Meet here, go to movies and make out.


Jessica D <*********@!!!!!!.com> wrote:
You should go out and get your lunch now before it hits…

So, what’s the plan tonight?

For our 'Date Night', Greg and I are going to see The Simpson's Movie (with our free passes) after work. And, apparently, we're going to make out. Works for me!

Finally, this afternoon, the a/c was repaired at work. It's nice and cool and the nice little storm we have is also helping. Rather relaxing really; since I can sit and watch it rain from my desk (Love my Desk Location).

Well, "IT" has made it's ugly presence this morning; about time too! But, I've noticed that my cycles are starting the Thursday after I stop taking the active pills... what's nice *knock on wood* is that the cramps are almost nonexistent, oddly. Actually, I had no warning signs (other than my strong 'urges' for 'playing' with Greg) that "IT" was coming. Another thing that I have noticed is that my mood swings happen a week before I stop taking the active pills... I wonder if this is just me. I've been tempted to not take the birth control to see if I would have a cycle on my own (since I have PCOS, my cycles have been very unpredictable; hence the reason I didn't use birth control (and was told that it would be nearly impossible for me to get pregnant naturally))... not sure if I want to risk that chance... give up sex for two months just to see if I will start a cycle on my own???... Nah....

Next is coming along nicely. I've spent a majority of the morning reading. The only 'complaint' I have about the book, thus far, is that it's predictable; or at least seems predictable, but I don't know if my predictions are true, well most of them... some I've predicted and after a few more chapters proved correct. I guess it helps that I spent nearly six years in the clinical research industry and I know a lot of what the book is about... who knows. I should be done with it soon..

This weekend, Greg and I are going back down to my Mom's to get Amelia. I am so missing her right now. She's growing so fast, physically and mentally. She's begun to get on her hands and knees and will soon start crawling, probably, but for now she just kinds scoots backwards.

I am getting pretty excited about the move next week. I can't wait for Greg and I to finally have a place to call home and to start our life together; and for Amelia to have a place to have all her 'firsts', such as her first steps, Christmas, Thanksgiving, words, etc. This time next year, Amelia will be 19 months old!! It's so weird to think about that, especially when I think what I was doing/thinking this time last year (like working at CCTA; when Greg and I went to the National Zoo; all the trips that Greg and I were planning; and the thought of Greg and I moving to Washington State together...

It's such a weird thing to think about all that was going on last year and not know that I was pregnant. I would guess that I was about 4, going on 5, months pregnant this time last year. And, who would have thought that a year later, Greg and I would be moving in together, set up joint bank accounts (at my bank of choice; gotta love Wachovia), helping each other pay our bills (I help him with the Dell bill and he helps with my car payment), and have a nearly 7 month old daughter!! I sure wouldn't have thought that... if I were asked last year what I would expect to be doing exactly a year later, all that I mentioned above would not be what I was expecting; if anything, I would have guessed: School and a new job. Way off, huh...

Would I change anything? Absolutely not; not even all the hardship I've experienced in the last 7 months. I am feeling very positive about my future with Greg, Amelia, and life in general. It's a very good feeling.

Well, I am going to get back to the book; just thought I would stop by and give ya something to read!

J

whatdayoftheweekisit?

I work up this morning having no clue as to what day of the week it was. It was such a weird feeling...

Last night, I stopped by Greg's office, unannounced, and hung out for a few minutes while he finished making our 'Need/Want' List for the move next week. While he was working on that, I was chatting with Brooke and talking about the Ocean City Golfing Extravaganza in Sept., which sounds likes it's going to be a lot of fun!! Once Brooke left, Greg and I chatted about going out to dinner, even if it's a McDonalds and we eat inside rather than drive-thru; I just wanted to go out. We ended up going to Pizza Hut on Rt. 40. Our server was horrible and he totally messed up our order; but I didn't care because I was happy to be out and with Greg.

While waiting for our pizza, Greg and I chatted a little about a few things that were on my mind and then we focused on the 'Need/Want' List. Turns out that we don't need as many things as we thought we did. A majority of the items we need are for the two bathrooms (shower curtains, towels, rugs, accessories, etc) and things for Amelia's room (which it looks like a lot of people (ok, 4) feel that themes are a thing of the past for children's rooms), such as a lamp, bedding and such for her crib and a few other little things.

Another topic of discussion was brought on by someone that I had spoken to on the way to the Pizza Hut; an old 'FWB' that I met nearly three years ago. 'W' is engaged and has his wedding planned for this coming Oct (I am going to assume I wasn't invited, LOL); his bride-to-be doesn't know that 'W' still has a paid membership to an adult hook-up website and is still looking for fun (shoot, he's asked me many time this year to get together for 'lunch', to which I've declined and have told him that I am in love with Greg and am not interested in that friendship anymore); I asked 'W' why he's still looking and such and he had no real honest answer and mentioned something about his bride-to-be has expressed some, very little, interest in possibly having a third person join their 'party'. So, I asked him if his bride-to-be knows of the website and he said no and that he doesn't plan on telling about it anytime soon because she would freak if he told her. Umm, wouldn't that be a big flag to not do what you're doing? So, once I ended the conversation with 'W', I talked to Greg about it and asked how he would feel if he found out that I had a paid membership to said website and was actively looking without his knowledge. His reply is something that I would feel if I learned of the same. See, this is where communication is key in a relationship; Greg knows of every past 'FWB' that I speak with (on the rare occasion that a conversation with one of them (there are four that I talk to every now and then) occurs) and I tell him about the conversations of them on my own free will, he doesn't ask and I don't hide anything from him. Greg is an important person in my life, why would I not tell him what's going on in my life? Maybe I am more open than others, who knows, but that's just the way I am.

Oh, the Greg's review didn't happen last night; work was too busy, but it did happen this morning!! Greg's review was great and the raise was more than either of us were hoping for! Plus, the raise is effect immediately and will be reflected with the paycheck coming on Friday! Hooray!!! From our calculations, this check is going to be sweet and it may be more than enough to actually hire people to move our items next week, which is something we've been chatting about all morning via email. I am a little hesitant because I want to know for a fact that Greg and I are going to have more than enough money for next week and then for rent in September, which is two weeks after we move in! Greg understands my concerns but if pretty positive that we will be fine. It's awesome that Greg and I are paid on opposite weeks because every Friday, there will be a paycheck deposited into the joint account (as soon as our employers process the requests).

This move is getting very exciting and nerve wracking for me. I told Greg that I am afraid of a repeat of the 'life' I had with Adam once we moved in together; even though my heart is telling me that the life Greg and I will have together will be nothing like that of the past; but I can't help but worry. Also, I just realized that today would be my four year wedding anniversary if Adam and I were still together. I wonder if he remembers... meh, not important to wonder about those type of thoughts...

Oy! So much going on in my head!!! I'm missing Amelia a lot this week; I want to call Cousin April and see how's she doing, yet afraid because I remember how I felt after having Amelia; I need to talk to the Babysitter about having her sign a piece of paper stating that she is/has accepted money from me to watch Amelia so that I can be reimbursed; I'm hoping that my brother is doing well, financially, at his new place; wonder how my car is doing since it's been nearly 2 weeks since I handed it over to the repair shop... and many many more...

Just Another Tuesday

Nothing going on today.

I was busy this morning with HR (which is handled in another state) and filling out their forms on a change of address and direct deposit. It wasn't as easy as you think. Like I've mentioned before, the HR staff isn't the most reliable bunch.

One item mentioned to me about the direct deposit change (even though I am still going to have a portion of my paycheck deposited into my current account) is that it may take up to three pay periods before it's complete; which translates to about six weeks. I don't see how that is possible; it's a simple process of where HR submits verification to the bank that the bank account exists and has the correct name on it, right? Why would this take six weeks to complete? Meh; I just have a feeling that this simple request will not happen in the appropriate time frame quoted to me and that more than likely, the request will be forgotten and that I am going to have to get medieval on their arses. Good grief, it took nearly two months for them to complete my exemptions change (the last paycheck had the correct amount of exemptions taken out for both Fed and State, finally).

****There was something else I wanted to mention, but I can't remember anymore****

Poor Greg has been so busy at work. He didn't get home until 8:30 last night. The only bright side is that he's getting a lot of overtime, but isn't spending much time home (and he misses me). Hopefully, he'll have his annual review today and we'll find out how much his raise is. Last year, he was promoted to Assistant Manager and we're eager to see what the review states. It would be awesome if Greg receives his 'usual' raise amount and then I am promoted at work and receive a raise (I did apply for the position I mentioned earlier; not sure if I mentioned that or not). Oh, did I mention that my job is offering a huge referral bonus (more than a couple thousand dollars; yes, you read that correctly) and my friend that I used to work with at PRP might be considered as a candidate and if she's hired and remains with MX for 6 months, I will be thousands of dollars richer? I will learn in a few weeks if she's going to be hired or not; the manager is out of the country until sometime next week and when he returns is when he's going to conduct interviews.

It's hard to believe that I've been here for almost a year. Sometime last week, I was chatting with a co-worker that was in my training and reminded him of the time we've been here and we both agree that this past year has flown by. It's funny to us because when we started together, neither one of us ever thought we'd be parents within the coming year, when talking in retrospect.

Greg and I are doing quiet well, relationship wise. No major fights or arguments, yet; who knows what's going to happen once we're completely on our own together. But, considering that we've been together for four whole weeks and still no major disputes or arguments, I count that as a good thing! I remember when Adam and I first moved in, within the first 2-3 weeks we had a huge fight and told him that I wanted to break up and everything. I never forgave him for what he did (he didn't hit me or anything), and I never told my family about it (though he told his family what he did). I told Greg about it and he said he would never, ever, do what Adam did, no matter how mad. But, that is all in the past... I am looking forward to the life that Greg and I are going to have together. I believe he's going to 'allow' us to marry on 10-10-09 since he hasn't said anything against that date, except a few times we've talked about getting married sooner (because we are eager to buy a house within the next two years). I've been thinking that it could be possible that Greg and I marry each other this time next year... after all, Greg and I have known each other and have been the best of friends to each other for nearly two years (08/20/05 is 'the date'); if we weren't meant to be, we wouldn't be where we are today...

Speaking of Adam, I called the Circuit Court today because I haven't received anything in the mail about the divorce filing. Well, according to the person I spoke with, they assigned a case number (good, it means everything is in progress) and that they mailed the 'Summons Packet' to me the week of July 18th. Well, I haven't received anything; as a matter of fact, I haven't received any mail since I did my change of address on July 23rd! This worries me, since I am no longer able to check the mail at the townhouse (all keys were returned on July 31). I've tried calling the local post office, but the number is always busy. Figures. It would be nice to be able to get this all done and over with.

Let's see, I started this entry at 1:00 and it's not 3:40. My life is so exciting.

I've noticed that I have new 'regulars' out there; there are 2 in Virginia, someone who uses AOL (didn't even know people still use AOL now a days) and there is this weird one... I love Bravenet because it shows me the link where someone came from, if the visit wasn't a 'direct hit', and lately there's been these visitors with the same IP address, but the referring link is different, though when I click on it, it takes me to the same place. Odd indeed.

Meh. To each their own.

Alright, I am done. I've got other things to vent about somewhere else...

Strange Day

This day feels strange, but in a positive way. But, before I get to that, here are the events of last night:

This morning, Greg and I sleep in as late as possible (nearly 8am), again. We've got to stop going to bed so late! I swear I don't know what happens with the time from 8pm to 12am! Last night, I watched The King of Queens finale. It was a good episode. I missed it earlier this year. Greg and I were so confused because he haven't been keeping track of the episodes, so we had no clue that they broke up and stuff. And, in the end I thought they were going to go their separate ways (when they were talking on the airplane), but they didn't. Awww... In someways, the relationship that Greg and I have is very similar to that of the show (minus the father in-law living in their home; although I am living with Greg's Mom at the present), even Greg saw some similarities.

I went to the store last night after work. Greg and I are tired of having either spaghetti or chicken and salad for dinner (as we've had since moving in on 7/20). So, during the day Greg and I mulled over what to create with what we already have (which wasn't much of anything) and remembered that we have canned chicken, and decided to make chicken dip, kinda like crab dip but with chicken, and to also try to make it similar to that of Bill Bateman's. Surprisingly, it turned out pretty good! All I had to buy was the cream cheese and baguettes. But, while at the store, I bought more items (grapes, lunch items, and dinner for tonight). I spent $21. Greg and I are trying to spend as little money as possible until we have enough for the condo.

After The King of Queens, I took my shower and hung out in the bedroom until Top Chef came on. The episodes just aren't as exciting as last season. There's no Marcel-isk character; albeit, Joey and 'Bulldog' are close competitors.

Now, back to why this day is strange (to me)...

There is a position open within the company (formal email was sent out last night to the team). The position is 'Team Leader' and the duties aren't much more than the work that I am currently doing. I thought it over for a few minutes and decided that I wasn't going to apply for a few reasons; 1. Even though I've been here for a while, I still feel that I am 'new' since I was hired on in May; 2. Don't know if my attention span is reliable enough to do the job to my work ethic standards; and 3. Now that I have a baby, I don't know how reliable I will be (mainly if I have to miss work due to not having anyone to watch Amelia). I feel those are pretty reasonable reasons, right? Well, this morning as I was sitting at my desk reading my usual news and whatnot, I was approached by a co-worker, who isn't a CSR, enquiring if I was going to apply for the position. I had told that I hadn't planned on it and she began to urge me to submit my resume in a very suggestive manor. So, I am wondering if 'they' are hoping that I apply because 'they' feel that I am capable of the job. I wonder if there is a pay increase. In the mean time, I've been working on my resume and waiting for the perfect moment to talk to my supervisor and ask a few questions...

Also, this afternoon I learned that I have won a $50 Visa gift card!!! I forgot about a contest that we were running at work, and I came in second place! Yay me.

Wondering what's so strange about all of this? Well, it's strange because positive things are occurring and... and... I'm not used to this.

All-In-One

My cousin sent the following email:

"Well, I just wanted to shoot everyone an email since today is my due date and I'm still carrying my little one around in my belly!! If she doesn't come by then, Friday August 3 at 6:00am I go to civista to be induced. I'm hoping she'll come on her own, but excited to finally have a day!! As of friday I'm dilated 2cm maybe more by now, hopefully. My last day of work will probably be tomorrow or half a day wednesday 8/1 you can email me at home at ******33@yahoo.com since I won't be able to check this email from home. :) Feel free to come by the house or hospital, I hope you do, my cell number (for those who don't have it) is 301-***-**** and the home number is 301-***-****. Well hope to talk talk/see all of you soon!

Love you!!"

Yay! I'm so excited!! I hope she has her baby by this weekend, because Greg and I are going down to Mom's to visit Amelia (since my Mom is going to watch her for an extra week so Greg and I can save more money for the move) and to give Mom a break from watching her.

Greg has taken 2 days off of work, the 16th and 17th of August, for the move. I've only taken the 16th off since I missed two days last week. Oy! Can't believe we finally found a place and that Greg and I will have our own place in two weeks. It's exciting and scary at the same time. Who would have thought that nearly 2 years, to the date (Aug 20, 2005 is when we first met), after Greg and I met that we would have a baby and be living together, much less talking about marriage. It's almost a fairy tale story; sorta. LOL

I read an interesting article on Y! about men's fighting style for relationships. I sent Greg the article and told him which two styles I think he falls under. It's definitly something worth talking about with your significant other.

Well, I've actually been working today; believe it or not! I started this post nearly 3 hours ago and I'm just about to end it. I've become slightly bored with the internet these last few weeks. There just isn't anything to hook myself into anymore. I've thought about bringing a book to work or maybe start knitting again. Just something else than waiting for something exciting to happen on the interwebnet.

Wednesday Babble

Happy Birthday, Momma!

Today is my Mom's 48th Birthday. Yeah, she's young (was 19 when she had me). My Grandma is only 67 years old; yeah, no kidding. I called my Mom this morning to wish her a happy birthday and we chatted for a bit. Talked about her Vegas Extravaganza and the birthday presents I gave her last month (Ice Tea Maker, I Love Lucy purse, and digital meat thermometer - all of which she loves) and her plans for the day (nothing special. She was just excited she found a farrier for the horse, Lucy).

Happy Birthday, Pat!

Today is Greg's brother, Pat, birthday as well. I believe he's turning 26. Pat is at some training camp in the west, I believe. Pat did call Greg last night and they chatted a bit and Greg was able to wish him a happy birthday (though, he would have forgotten if I hadn't of gone through Greg's calendar at work and marked everyone birthdays for him; what would he do without me?), but the main reason Pat called Greg was to tell him that he left milk in the refrigerator at his old apartment and to see if he could remove it before he had to turn in the keys. Eww!

Ok, now that the birthday wishes are done, let's continue with our normally scheduled program, shall we?

Last night after work, I headed over to Target to pick up the pictures I ordered on 7/12/07. I was surprised at how well they, mostly, turned out. Some were a little pixel-lated whereas others you couldn't tell if was from a 'normal' camera or digital. So, with my mind on Scrap booking, I decided to look at scrap booking stuff. Oy! So much to choose from! But, I did well and didn't buy anything... until... I walked towards the end of the isle, where they usually place their clearance items and saw what I've been wanting to buy since Amelia was born: A Memory Book; you know, the ones where you save pictures of their first hair cut, first Christmas and Halloween, First day of school, etc. The book was on clearance for..... $4.98!!! Yeah, that's all! So, I HAD to buy it (especially since the cheapest I've seen was about $20 at Babies-R-Us or the Hallmark store). It was a no brainer for me. Then, I walked down some more isles to see if I could find anything interesting for dinner, I didn't, but decided to buy a big jar of nuts. So, I walked out of Target only spending $11.55. I feel special.

Now, while at Target, Amelia was so giddy! She was actually laughing while in the isles! She would laugh every time I went "Boo" to her or would push the cart a little fast and then slow it down. It was so hilarious! I was tempted to call Greg and my Mom so they could hear how much she was laughing, but I couldn't keep a decent cell signal in the store. Then, I thought about recording her laugh to make it my ring tone, but I didn't want the sound of me going "Boo" to be in it. So, I wait a little longer for her to laugh at any and everything. I think it will be very soon.

I arrive home around 7:30 and take Amelia upstairs into my room and just lay on the bed with her and play. Sean comes in and lays on the bed too and plays with Amelia as well. Amelia licked Sean's nose.

Around 8pm, I put Amelia to bed (it's so cute to watch her rub her eyes...) and head down stairs to make dinner (pork chops, again). Greg arrives at 8:20, he was late (at which I told him he would be and he tried to deny that he would be late). We eat dinner and watch "America's Got Talent". Somewhere between 8:30 and 9:00, Greg goes upstairs, I didn't head up until 9:30. Greg was playing DD when I got to my room and I lied next to him and watched him play and began to give him directions on where to go and who was waiting for their food, etc. He lost. Afterwards, we laid in bed, in the dark, and talked. We did some deep talking. We talked for nearly an hour about a lot of relationship things (mainly his past relationships and the 'warning flags' that he ignored; about his best friend Jeff; and a little about our relationship and our future together). Now, mind you when I went upstairs at 9:30, it was to get a little action, if you know what I mean. So, when we started talking about relationships from the past and many of the other topics (which I won't mention here), by the time I began to change the subject, he wasn't really feeling 'it'. But, me wanting what I wanted I ended up getting it. LOL. It's a little joke that Greg and I have, between us. So, finally around 11:30, we head for sleepyland.

Today, this morning, I was late for work. Amelia and Greg were taking their sweet time getting ready! Then, I had to make lunch for Greg and me, which took nearly 20 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm just writing this because it something to write about.

I arrive at work about 5 minutes late. I had my Target bag with the pictures and Memory book, as well as my new tags (which I didn't put on last night; what can I say - i was lazy), though I don't know why I brought the tags... oh wait, now I do... because I wanted to bring the registration card before it gets lost in the townhouse... duh. So, as soon as I am at my desk, I share the pictures with my supervisor, who shares them with another co-worker, finally around 10am, she brings them back to my desk and then I begin my Memory Book Extravaganza! It has been interesting and enjoyable. There are so many things I have to wait for, though. But, the book in itself is neat because I can create my own pages and add them to the book, which I think I will do in the near future. So far, the only thing I've created is the Father's Day Page, along with filling out the story of when I found out I was pregnant, her birth information, and things along that nature.

I just received the following email from my roommate, Aaron:



-----Original Message-----
From: AARON GREENFIELD [mailto:agreenfield@*********.us]
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 1:45 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: yo

Hey cool kid. How's your day goin so far. Im ready to go home. do you wanna set off those fire works tonight?

My reply:

Sure!

Damn, you must be really bored to be sending me an email!

Anyway, I am feeling pretty energetic at the moment, though I don't' really know why. Maybe it has something to do with the skittles I ate with my lunch, but who knows.

Oh, as for yesterdays post about being focused. Yeah, I failed. I didn't even complete half of the accounts. Meh. Guess I could do it now...

I think I will start some work today...

Until then, Ciao!

Thoughtful Friday

Yeah, nothing to really title this entry. I do try to keep the titles a little interesting, but some days the creative portion of my brain just isn't creative. I am going to assume for today, the creative portion is on a coffee break as I write.

Yesterday I went through my Flickr photos and selected a few, more like 27, for print. I am going to attempt this scrap booking thing. I selected photos from the first five months of Amelia's life and some of the outings we went (Cunningham Falls, O's game of Father's Day, etc) to as we all the Holidays we've had, thus far. My plan is to create a page of each 'event'. I don't when I am actually going to start this project with the move and all this weekend (for me) and next weekend (for Sean and Aaron), plus trying to save money for when ever Greg and I actually find a place to live on our own. But, on the bright side, the pictures I selected for print will only cost me $3.15 and I can go get them at the Target in Ellicott City (which I thought about picking up last night, but Greg wasn't interested in meeting me there and mentioned something about traffic being a nightmare).

Last night, I felt so... melancholy; just not with it emotionally. I spent two hours doing something I should have, even though it didn't really have an effect on me emotionally, but I was curious and such. During that two hour span, I spoke with my Mom for about 45 minutes. We chatted about the move, her trip next week to Las Vegas, the email we received from her Mom, my Grandma, about their vacation in Alaska and Canada (cruise, tours, the whole nine yards), as well as other 'girly' things. Around 10pm, we hung up; Sean and Aaron come home and I head up stairs for my shower and bed. Around 11pm, I try to call Greg but he was having cell phone difficulties and I was becoming frustrated. I felt a strong need to talk to Greg last night and his cell phone carrier was preventing us from talking. Finally, after nearly 15 minutes of attempts, I just left him a voicemail. After about 3-5 minutes of silence, Greg calls and we were able to hold a 12 minute conversation that wasn't interrupted by gargle and other non-comprehensive noises. I told Greg what I did last night and why I did it. He asked a few questions about why I did it and all; he wasn't upset or anything, but I felt like talking to him about it. Then, I asked what he did for the night and he told me that he played a little on the computer (games), consolidated one of his tubs, threw away a lot of old pictures from his last relationship, and talked to his Mom about me moving in this weekend. I asked why he threw away his old pictures and he pretty much did it for the same reasons I didn't keep my wedding pictures; one chapter closed and moving on. As for the conversation with his Mom about me moving in, she was hoping to have one more week to get ready, but if I have to move in this weekend, then I have to.

Also, last night Greg and I talked about our future wedding; just a little. I asked him if he wanted something more than a 'court house ceremony' and he said yes, which did surprise me. Then I asked what time of year would he like to marry. We didn't pick a season, but I suggested Fall for all the pretty colors. I think a winter wedding, though beautiful if there is snow, would be too risky for any type of weather related reasons for cancellation (as many birthday parties of mine were cancelled due to snow). Spring is an option as well. Summer, is too typical and can be hot. If I had to choose, I would plan a Fall wedding (10/10/09 would be possible because I'm weird and want the month and date to match, just like my birthday, 02/02); I think the temperature, outside lighting and scenery would be just right. So, it looks like Greg and I might have an actually wedding when we marry, which means I would have to plan a wedding! When Adam and I decided to wed, I did the invitations and my Mom and Grandma did the rest. There wasn't anything to really plan. I already knew I didn't want a traditional wedding, I felt it was a waste of money. So, my wedding was in Annapolis's court house and the following day, we had a BBQ at the Churchton house. Nothing special in my eyes. But, now that Greg and I are starting to talk about getting married and what not, I do want to make it special, though not extravagant. I would still rather spend the money on the honeymoon than the wedding. As of now, the honeymoon is still a 2 week European cruise. Greg has even shared this with some of his co-workers!

Sometimes, the relationship Greg and I have seems unreal. At times, I can't believe that Greg and I are actually in a relationship with each other. Don't get me wrong, I love this feeling of being in love with someone, the butterflies that he gives me when ever I see him or when he gives me a call at work. Greg, I swear, is probably one of the most amazing and caring people I've ever met. Sometimes, I wonder, when I compare the relationship I had with Adam to what I have with Greg, what was I thinking while I was with Adam? I know it's not fair to compare the two, but my feelings are night and day difference between them (comparing my feelings while with Adam vs. my feelings while with Greg). With Adam, I was in no hurry to actually marry him. We were engaged for about two years before I finally decided that we needed to either progress or move on without each other. Adam has absolutely no interested in the wedding details whatsoever. I would ask him for his opinion and he said he wasn't interested and that I could so whatever I wanted. Yet, when I would decide on something, later he would complain about some minute detail that he didn't like. Why did I marry Adam? I settled. Thus, my one life lesson to never repeat and the one thing I would change from my past if I could.

Greg, on the other hand, is someone that I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with. I can't wait until we buy our first house together and go on family vacations with Amelia (and maybe our future son or daughter) and just grow up together. Greg truly is someone I want to spend the rest of my life. And, this is something I've known, though denied myself, for a little over a year now and Greg has felt the same about me.

There was one point in time last year that I thought about 'dating' but I couldn't bring myself to actually start seeing other guys because I didn't want to 'phase' Greg out of my life. This was all before I knew I was pregnant. I was even talking to another guy and thought about meeting up with him one night in October. I told Greg about it (we were chatting via text messages) and he told me that he was feeling a bit jealous and was afraid to loose me (I did save those text messages). I've asked Greg on many occasions why he didn't tell me his feelings for me earlier and he replies that he was too afraid. Such a silly boy.

I'm not exactly sure why I've divulged myself into these thoughts. In anyevent, I am going to blame it on my cycle. But, if you think about it... at least I am not acting like a weeping girly girl, just feeling a little emotional in retrospect.

Well, I leave in a half hour to get Amelia and head over to Dr. PaPa. I am so curious to see how much Amelia weighs. I, on the other hand, am not excited about her getting shots and the mood she is in afterwards. I have a feeling Amelia will be going to bed early tonight.

Tomorrow, starts a new journey: being with Greg everyday.

Pillow Talk

Last night, or I should say this morning, Greg and I lied in bed and talked until 2am (nearly). We talked about so many things.

One topic was about the path of life we've lived. Mainly about his learning experience and mine with our past relationships and how we didn't listen to what our mind or 'gut instinct' was telling us. We both have one event that we would re-do if it were possible, but then we think about that if we hadn't done what we did then we probably would have never met. Which is possible, but I don't think it's entirely true. If we were meant to be together, as we both feel we are, then we would have found our ways to each other.

Another topic was about our life together as husband and wife. Greg feels in his heart that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. Greg wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows this as a fact for him. I then asked Greg what the delay is for proposing to me (aside from the obvious; moving, stress about moving, and money because of the impending moving) and he said that he isn't ready. I asked for a more detailed answer because if he said he knew in his heart that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then what isn't he ready for, and his response was that he isn't ready because he wants to make this proposal special and he hasn't thought of how, yet. He stated his last proposal kinda ruined it for any future proposal because he was able to make it perfect for her and in his eyes as well. I reminded him that I am not a high maintenance girl and that I am not expecting anything elaborate as his last proposal (but I am expecting Greg to do something better than Adam). I joked that I don't want him to propose to me by creating a sign with cups over 100 (apparently it has become pretty popular to wish someone happy birthday or to congratulate someone by placing cups to spell out words into the chain link fence on the overpasses in Maryland). His reply was: "That's perfect!" I smacked him, though I knew he was joking. But, basically, Greg wants this proposal to be meaningful, amazing, and best ever since it's going to be his last (as he has been engaged twice).

Hearing all of the above (both topics) made me feel really good about a lot of things. Hearing someone tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you gives one an amazing emotional rush. It's like someone choose you to start a whole new chapter in their life, someone wants you to be with them and experiance things together and be one. Then, hearing Greg tell me why he hasn't proposed to me (well, with a ring at least) also shows how, in a sense (and maybe no one but me will understand this feeling) he wants to make all my fantasies, day dreams, wishes, etc. come true; even the ones I haven't thought of yet. I don't have a fantisy about how Greg is going to propose to me. I don't have a dream wedding in my mind. The only things that I am wishing for at the moment is to find a place to live. The only things I am day dreaming about at the moment is how Greg and I are going to decorate our new place and a little about which engagement ring he's going to surprise me with (even though we haven't looked at any and I told him that I want him to choose the ring all by himself, since I want to be completely surprised), and a vacation.

Speaking of vacation, remember when I mentioned that Greg has three surprises that he's working on? Well, I got him to 'spill the beans' on one of the surprises and it's a trip to North Carolina. Though, we don't know if this will be happening since we haven't found a place to live. As for the other two surprises, well... one he forgot all about and can't remember what he was planning, and the other is the bigger surprise and he won't budge on any information.

I have a feeling that the rest of 2007 is going to be amazing and full of so many new things and experiences.

Re: Date Night

Greg and I had a great time last night!

Once he finished up, we left and headed over to Famous Dave's. There was no wait for a table and all the food came out rather quickly. The service could have been a little better, but I tipped accordingly.

It was funny, as Greg and I were waiting for our food, we were chatting away and such, then once the food arrived, we hardly spoke. We were so hungry!

After dinner, we drove back to his office (since we only took one car) and we ended up getting his hair cut and I got my eye brows waxed, finally! I also did a little shopping at GameStop. I bought 2 new games for my Nintendo DS; Monkey Ball and Diner Dash. I have loved Diner Dash since it came out. I even bought the software for my old laptop. I've thought about buying the version for my cellphone but I just don't think it's practical.

So, when Greg and I said our good bye's, I headed straight home, said hi to Aaron, went upstairs, took a shower and then played Dinar Dash for about an hour. Finally, around 11:30, I stopped because I would have stayed up all night playing. I called Greg to say good night and went to bed.

It felt so good to sleep! I was relaxed and comfortable; except for when Oliver would flop his hairy tail right next to me and take up half the bed. You'd be surprised at how much bed space a small cat can take.

Date Night!

So, here I sit at Greg's office.

I helped Greg with some of his work; me folding tab thingys. Such fun.

As I was helping Greg, I asked where he would like to go for dinner. It is a rare day that we have no baby to take care of and have the extra money to spend on us! So, Greg and I have going on a date tonight!

We have decided to go to Famous Dave's in Columbia! Yummy! I can't wait until Greg is finished with his transmittles so we can leave.

Right now, Greg and I are debating if he should get his hair-cut tonight or wait. The reason we are debating is because we are both very hungry.

The Sweet Greg-ola!

Do you know what I love most about us?

You.


" Jess,
I wish I could write so much of what I feel. I know things are tough right now, but we'll make it through. You mean the world to me. I love you with all my heart.

Greg
XOXOXOXOXOXO "



Last night, I was still in a funk of a mood. I didn't talk much to my brother or Aaron and just putted around the townhouse. Around 7:30, Greg calls and we chat for a few. I wasn't really in the mood to talk. He stated that he was a little sadden that I hadn't called, like I normally do, and that he shouldn't be much longer at work. After the conversation, I start my laundry and fix something for dinner (chicken nuggets and frozen pizza; Yum!). Around 8:30, I head upstairs for my room and call Greg to see what his E.T.A is. He informs me that he's just getting off of Rt 100 and that he's going to stop at the store for toilet paper, ice, and soda, all of which we were out. So, I just lay in bed and watch TV. About 20 minutes later I hear Greg walk in the door and start to put the items away. After a few minutes he asks me to come down stairs. So, I get up and walk down stairs. Greg is in the kitchen and on the counter is a Strawberry Carvel Cake waiting for me and inside the box (which was open) was a card, which I've written the contents of said card at the beginning of this post. I really fought hard to hold back the tears that started to pool in my eyes. Once I calmed down, I turned to Greg and gave him a big hug, thanked him and told him that I love him. Afterwards, I cut the cake and ate a slice! Yummy!

Greg and I watched Hell's Kitchen. We expected Vinnie to go; boy can't cook Beef Wellington if his life depended on it! Which made Greg and I wonder why he was always at that station! But, the show wasn't as eventful as past episodes. Now, we just look forward to Top Chef tomorrow night.

After work, I am going to stop by Greg's office to make copies my information for the application to his current complex. Yesterday, Greg talked to the office and they informed him that they will need a signed letter from him Mom confirming that he will no be on the lease for that apartment, a signed letter from him confirming that he is removing himself from that apartment, my statement of my salary from my employer, my three most recent pay stubs, drivers license and security card. Thankfully, all of which I have.

I keep distracting myself by reading other peoples blogs. I have a regular one that I read about a women and her adventure with IVF, and then I read the blogs of her readers. It's a vicious circle.

I am trying to not think about what was planned for this coming Thursday and that this time next week, I should be living with Greg. I am really trying to not think those types of thoughts. Easier said than done; which is also why I've been distracting myself by reading the events in other peoples lives. It does help.

Feeling Blue

Yeah, I'm not feeling any better.

I tried eating lunch, and I was successful with getting it all down, but I still feel like I'm going to be sick.

Greg has contacted the rental complex he's currently living and they have an opening in July, but we are waiting to see if he can just transfer his lease to another unit. I bet that question confused the leasing agent he spoke to!

It's interesting to see Greg being to optimistic about all that's recently happend. He's so energetic and 'gun-ho' about getting another place. I don't know where he's getting it from, but I hope it remains.

I wish Greg were coming over tonight. I don't want to be alone.

On the bright side (and yes, there is a bright side), Amelia tried her first spoon of rice cereal last night. Greg took pictures. It was interesting to say the least; and, very messy. Next time I have to remember to use a bib. Oh, and to get a baby spoon (add that to my mental list of things to get/do). I will try to post the pictures on my Flickr account tonight.

"I Need More Lotion"

That was the phrase for the night from Greg.

Poor Greg, he got a pretty bad sunburn on his face and forearms from the game. So, last night, I gave him my bottle of Aloe lotion and I swear he was putting that stuff on every 15-20 minutes! It was so funny, he was hoarding the bottle even in bed! I made a comment to him last night that I was going to write about his recent addiction to the aloe lotion. We just laughed. This morning, Greg took the lotion with him to work. I can only imagine what he's doing with the lotion at this moment.

Is anyone else watching Hell's Kitchen? Last night was good! I can't believe they choose these people as contestants! Where the hell are they coming from? Hell's Kitchen is completely opposite of Top Chef. At least with Top Chef, these contestants know what they are doing and making, whereas with Hell's Kitchen, it's all scream and holler and making a mess. Either way, though, both are very entertaining!

Greg and I have been emailing each other for a good part of the last hour. He had a lot on his mind yesterday and this morning, after we talked about the baby shower plans for the weekend, I asked how he was doing and such; well anyway, here's the email conversation:


"From: Greg S. [mailto:*****@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:37 AM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: FW: Baby Shower

Just how amazing you are, how much I love having you in my life. How absolutly much you mean to me. Just how much I could never imagine my life without you.

How much I am utterly in love with you.


Jessica D wrote:
Aww, concentrate on me? What are you thinking about that pertains to me?




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Greg S. [mailto:*****@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:30 AM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: FW: Baby Shower

any of it. Doesn't help to think about it, so I'll just concentraite on jobby job and you. :)


Jessica D wrote:

Which part?

I just want to make sure you’re ok and such.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Greg S. [mailto:*****@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:20 AM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: FW: Baby Shower

eh not letting bother me.


Jessica D wrote:

That is good to hear.

How about your mental busy-ness (apartment stuff, *****, etc)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Greg S. [mailto:****@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 10:59 AM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: FW: Baby Shower

busy but hanging in there. Headache is better"



I am still in awe over Greg. I still can't believe that my wish, dream, what have you, has come true. Greg is everything to me. He is my bestest friend and I can tell him anything without worry or fear of how he will react. Greg has told me during many occasions in the last year and a half that he considers me his best friend. He's told me that he's able to tell me anything, even now that we're in a relationship, that is on his mind regardless of the topic, and knows that my feelings for him will not change, I won't become jealous, and anything else that could effect our relationship. As a matter of fact, Greg and I are so close and open to each other, we talk about people we see in passing, say if we're at a park or restaurant, and ask what the other thinks of that person, sexually, and what not. I know Greg would never act upon these conversations, but I notice when something catches his eye and we talk or joke about it. I trust Greg. No second guessing of his loyalty to me. And, it's great that we are open with each other to talk about things as such. I really don't know where I would be, today, if I hadn't met Greg back in 2005.

Well, the baby shower for my cousin is actually on Sunday. Which is better for Greg and me. It means that we can get the money orders for the new townhouse and go there to finish the application for Greg. And, then we can go clean out the Pontiac. I spoke with the owner of the shop where the car has been, and he's going to have it towed to a junk yard for me; free of charge. So, that would complete one task that has been plaguing the back of my mind.

Ugh, it's so freaking hot outside! Have I mentioned how much I dislike summer? Well, I'll repeat it again: I really dislike summer! I do not like the humidity, the bugs, the thick air (which is the humidity, I know) and the hot hot heat! Blah!

Last night, Greg brought over one of his tubs. The plan is that he's going to bring over a tub or two each time he comes over so that we're able to move everything as efficiently as possible. The tub he brought over last night was his tub of memories, basically. He has awards from high school, his high school picture, items from when he worked at MicroPros, items from when he lived in New York, items from his first Disney Cruise, and many more items. We went through the entire tub. We kept some things, but threw a lot away as well. The items we threw away were things he couldn't remember why he saved, such as a Washington Post from 2001, pictures from an Airplane trip to New York and hotel stay, old note pads, and instruction manuals for his old stereo. It was interesting to go through the stuff with Greg. It made me think of my old chest that I used to keep, but threw away last year. Right now, I have a photo album that I've used to collect pictures of my friends and when I was in the newspaper and things related. It turns out that Greg and I both saved Far Side comics that we found interesting!

I've started to save a few things of Amelia's. So far, I've saved everything from the hospital, such as the hats she wore and every piece of paper I was given (the card in her bassinet, the results of her hearing tests, her foot prints, etc).

My Mom and I were talking earlier today (it's 2:53pm as I type) and she is clueless on what to get April for her baby shower this weekend. I suggested that she make a memory box for April and my Mom loved the idea! I told her that she doesn't have to make it now, but it would probably be better to give April the box when her baby is born. I can't wait for April's baby girl to be here. I can't wait to hold her and to see the size difference of Amelia and Aprils baby. As for a name for Aprils baby, the last I heard, it was going to be Olivia Ellen, or Ollie El as I'm probably going to call her. She also toyed with the name of Charlotte, but once she said the nickname would be Charlie, Clayton nixed the name. So, we are not to think of nicknames for the baby around Clayton. LOL

I started this post at 11:30am, and I am just finishing at 3:00pm.

Feeling Great!

10 days until move in day!

Even my Mom is excited about Greg and I moving in together! She called me this morning, at work, to ask what the color scheme of our bathroom since she was already out shopping for us! I have the greatest Mom out there! She's been so supportive this year. She came up when I was admitted to the hospital in January for the pneumonia and while I was in, she cleaned the townhouse and got everything ready for the baby. And, when I was released, she continued to stay to help me while everyone was at work. Then, when my water broke, she took me to hospital and stayed until the wee hours of the morning. She went home around 3:30-4:00 am to get some rest and a shower, but she was back in time to see Amelia's birth, which made her so happy. She was crying with joy (as she did when she came to one of my appointments with the fetal monitoring people). Then, on the day that I started to bleed to death, I called her because I was scared (that day is still the scariest day of my life) and she came straight to the hospital. She even beat Greg! And, when Greg made it, Mom took Amelia home to take care of her while Greg stayed with me at the hospital. I wish I could have done more for Mom this past Mother's Day, but I just didn't have the funds available. But, I know she's going to have a great 48th Birthday. I've already bought her the purse that she wanted, an ice tea maker, a digital cooking thermometer (as she asked, and I quote "I want one like Alton Brown), and what ever else I decide to buy between now and July.

Mom is coming up on Wednesday, Just 27th, to help with the move; plus she has the crib and dresser for Amelia's room. And, she's bringing the truck and that means that Greg and I can return the U-Haul earlier and save us money.

Amelia is ready to try baby cereal, but I've been waiting for Mom to visit so she can be there for the first taste. The reason we know Amelia is ready is because she's licking everything she can put her hands on! It's so funny to watch her grab something, and even though she struggles a little with bringing her hand to her mouth, the first thing she does as soon as her hand is on the object is stick her tongue out to get a taste, and her tongue will stay out until the object makes it to her mouth. Greg and I laughed so much over the weekend just watching Amelia do this over and over. She would do this with her shirt, the Caterpillar rattle thing we bought, our hands, and whatever she reached (even her diaper{unused of course}).

A funny, but exciting, conversation Greg and I had over the weekend was about his company's Holiday Party. For the last 2 years, I've asked if he was going to invite me and he said no and he has two reasons why; 1. no mixing friends with co-workers; and 2. the last times he brought a date, either girlfriend or friend, bad things happened (such as, sickness at the party, date sleeping with someone else, etc); and that is why he never asked me to go with him. But, he did come to mine when I asked. So, anyway, I committed to Greg that I guess since we're living together and dating, then I must be going to his holiday party! He said "wha?!, wait a second here, what gave you that idea?" in a joking manor, and I explained my reasoning and he said "yeah, alright you can come and we're going to get you a new dress.". Yay! I'm getting a new dress! I get to show off my new body and sexy legs (as he says). When I went to the holiday party held by my current job, I was 8 months pregnant and wore a dress that I had back in 2001, which fit because of the big belly, but otherwise was too big. I didn't like the dress and how it looked on me. I can't wait to shop for a new dress and get myself all made up. I want to wow Greg and his co-workers!! Thankfully, I still haven't gained any weight since having Amelia, and now that Greg and I are going to be living together, we can eat better and take nice walks around the neighborhood after work.

Finally, it seems, that things are starting to work out for me and life. I haven't had the easiest, or best, childhood. I moved a lot, was homeless, and poor. My Mom raised my brother and me until she met Van. Mom and Van have been together for over 20 years. They haven't married and don't plan on it. But, Van has supported me and my family as if he were our father. It is because of Van, that I have learned a great deal about cars and all the cars I've ever owned, except for the Nissan, where helped by Van. We still moved a lot when I was younger. I hated being the new student every year. One year, the third grade, I went to three different schools. I can even name every elementary school I've been to: Thomas Stone Elementary, James McHenry Elementary, Mt. Rainer Elementary, Shady Side Elementary, and Tracy's Elementary.

In other news...

I finally settled the eBay dispute. Turns out, once I submitted a claim with PayPal about not receiving the item the seller immediately replies. According to the seller, she shipped the item 2 weeks ago, yet couldn't provide any proof when I asked. Also, she stated she never received my emails. So, the final result was either, offer a partial refund and send out half of what I ordered, or do a complete refund. I opted for a complete refund; which she's already completed.

This Saturday, the 23rd, Greg and I are going down to Waldorf for my cousins baby shower/pool party. I'm looking forward to the party! I haven't been swimming this year and can't wait. Plus, I get to buy a new swim suit since my old one is way too big. Also, Amelia has never been in a pool and I am curious as to how she's going to respond when I put her in; although I already have an idea: Scream until she looses her voice. It will be cute though. I can't wait to take the pictures.

I've noticed that I have some regular readers out there. Please, take a moment and introduce yourself! The regular readers come from Texas, New Jersey, North Carolina, and Maryland (excluding myself). I have an idea of who one Maryland reader is because the tracking program tells me they use a Mac and I know of three people in Maryland who use a Mac.

Greg and I are waiting to hear back from a place about a recent application. So far so good on the automatic response, but we want to talk to the actual place before we let our guard down. I've already told him to give them a call, but he's being a little hesitant.

Also, Greg is probably going to finally do something that I've been suggesting for a while. He's slightly irritated by something and he's ready to let go. I just hope he actually does it.

Moving on to the next subject...
*warning: I am going to talk about personal items so, read at your own discretion*

"Let's talk about sex, baby... Let's talk about you and me... Let's talk about all the good things and bad things there could be... Let's talk about sex"

A lot of things change with your body when you have a baby. Amongst the weight loss, healthier body (PCOS symptoms seem to have gone away, blood pressure healthy, etc), sex has changed as well. Before, I enjoyed sex and all it's pleasures from Greg while he was on top. But, now a days, sex is better if I am on top! Greg really enjoys this too. There are other positions that have improved since having Amelia as well, but I'm mainly talking about me being on top. Greg loves close sex, where were are as close to each other as possible. He says there's more of an emotional connection, which I can see his point of view. And, it's great to be able to lay on top of him, kissing and holding each other, while doing the deed. Something I've never done before with past 'deed doers'.

Sex with my ex was boring. With him, it was always the same position and he would always finish within two minutes. Plus, it was never really romantic or exciting or fun or anything else. It was just sex. Then, I met 'Willows' and he showed me a lot of things that my ex said wasn't possible because of my anatomy. Sex with 'Willows' was great! Energetic and fulfilling. For a while, 'Willows' and I would get together three times a week! I was doing all of this while my ex was still living with me. By then, my ex and I had stopped having sex. And, I told him what I was going to do and then when I did it, I told him what I was doing. It's not like I was keeping it a secret from him.

So, after a few months, 'Willows' and I moved on with our lives. I was taking classes at the community college and he was working a projects for work. 'Willows' and I still talk now-a-days. He's engaged and just bought a house. Now, the funny thing is, is that he still wants to 'get together'. I've told him about my relationship with Greg and that I am not interested, yet he still wants to meet for lunch or what not. Even though I've accepted his lunch offer in the past, we haven't yet been able to meet. At this point, I don't think I will just because it's time to move on with my relationship with Greg, and close those chapters from my past.

Anyway, back to sex after a baby... I just wanted to write to see if anyone else has experienced a change as such. I don't think the better sex is due to my feelings for Greg because I don't really associate emotions with sex; hence how I was able to have a few 'fwb's and not get attached; a rarity I was told by a few guys.

In conclusion, I'm the happiest I've been in a really long time. Things are going great, finally, for me; I have a great job, new car, new boyfriend, new home, wonderful friends, and all kinds of happy-go-lucky feelings!

Father's Day 2007

Today was Greg's first Father's Day! Boy, did we do a lot!

First, we arrived at Bill Bateman's for their Father's Day Brunch. The food was amazingly good; well, the stuff I ate at least. Greg's only complaint was that the waffles were a little bland. Anyway, there was an amazing selection to choose from. I loaded up on the bacon for some reason; just something I have been craving lately.

After breakfast, we head over to Babies-R-Us to get Amelia a hat. The bonnet that we bought back in April is either missing or at my Mom's. So, we bought Amelia her first baseball cap. While at the store, I asked Greg if we have a boy next, is he going to buy all sports related outfits and he said "Oh yes!" emphatically. It's kinda weird to think about having another baby, but at the same time it's kinda exciting.

Once we purchased the hat, we head to the ATM for Greg and then we're off to Camden Yards for our first game of the season and Amelia's first game ever. The ride to the stadium was nice. It wasn't crowded at all and I got an amazing parking spot! When we arrived at the stadium, we picked up the tickets at will call and walked to the ticket checker stand thingy and the lady asked us if this was Amelia's first game and we said yes and then she told us that we could get a certificate to remember the day! So, that's the first thing we did once we were in the stadium. Then, we went potty. LOL Once we were all done and settled, we went to our seats and I was upset about the seats because I specifically asked for seats on the end of the row and we were 5 seats from the end, and there were people on both sides of us. Now, mind you, we have packed Amelia's diaper bag, car seat, my purse, the snugglie, and Greg's camera bag. That's a lot! Next time we go to a game, I'm just going to buy another seat to put all the stuff we carry in. Amelia did pretty well at the stadium, for a while, and then she became really fussy and irritable. She was hot and sweaty and tired. She hasn't napped much at all by this point. I tried to hold her and comfort her but she just kept screaming at the top of her lungs! Finally, Greg and I were like, 'ok, we need to get her out of here' and start to pack up. By now, it's only the second inning! And, as soon as I put Amelia in her car seat, she was out cold! So, Greg and I stayed a little longer. After about 15 minutes or so, we decided to move our seats because it was so cramped. We made it through 5 innings and decided to head home. We both got a lot of sun and we wanted to beat the crowd. Next game is going to be a evening game.

Once we made it home, we fed Amelia and placed her in the crib, then Greg and I rubbed aloe lotion on each other for the sun burns, then Greg and I lied next to each other and chatted. Much about nothing really, but it just felt good to be in his arms.

This whole weekend, Greg and I talked about our future together. We talked about goals for us, rather than a goal for him or I. One goal that we talked about is buying our first house and what we need to do to get there. We both agree that we need to improve our credit scores. The last time I checked mine was either just before Amelia was born or when I returned to work. I can't remember. And, when Greg opened up his checking account with Wachovia on Saturday, they game him his current credit score. So, we know where we stand and we've placed a goal of what number we want to achieve before we start looking for a house. We talked about how we are going to achieve this goal and how we're going to do so for each other.

This relationship with Greg is completely different than any relationship I've ever experienced. I know I've mentioned this before, but I just can't seem to get over how much happier I am with Greg. It's really like a dream or wish come true while I am with him. He's so caring, compassionate, dedicated to Amelia, loving and so many other emotions that words can not describe. Greg is always more than willing to help me, even before I ask him to do so. Even though he doesn't live with Aaron, Sean, and me, he helps clean the townhouse (like take the trash out, load and unload the dishwasher, straighten the living room, etc). When ever I am upset about something (and this happens more often than it used to), Greg always wants to talk about what's bothering me and he means it. He wants to make me happy, even if he's the reason I am upset. He tells me over and over how good our relationship is because we are so open with each other; and I agree with him. I believe what makes this relationship different and better than the ones we've experienced in the past is because 1. we're completely open and honest with each other; 2. we have the same goals in life, separate and combined; 3. we have so much in common, in all aspects of life; 4. this is real. we are not settling to appease us or for Amelia. neither one of us is giving up something to be in a relationship to have that status. everything that I feel for greg and that he feels for me is true and not because either of us feel that 'we have to'. We know the feelings are not superficial, as they have been with past relationships (on both sides), and that what we are feeling for each other is deep and not something that fades away; 5. we are not needy of one another, meaning that we both know we like time to ourselves and don't cry when one of us isn't paying attention to another. I know greg likes his gaming time and that's something I'm not going to take away from him, or have him change, just like I like my tv time or reading time. Neither one of us expects the other to give up something that we enjoy to make the other happy.

Surprises and Father's Day

This weekend is Father's Day, as you may know. Along with buying Greg his ice tea maker, I've bought 2 tickets to the Orioles for Sunday!! The seats are in Section 98 Row B and on the end. That's as close to the field as I could get. Greg doesn't know that I've bought the tickets, so they are a surprise. Sssshhhhh!! LOL I am also planning on treating him to all food and drinks as well. I did confirm that I can bring my own water for Amelia's bottles and that I don't have to buy a ticket for her. This should be interesting; Amelia's first game. I am going to see if I can Nick Markakis or Tejada to 'sign my baby'. If I could get one of their autographs for Greg, I bet that would make his day!

A surprise that I learned from Greg was that he was telling/showing a co-worker of his, Brooke, of where we, as in Greg and I, are going for a honeymoon! This leads me to believe that Greg, 1. is sharing personal information with his co-workers, such as feelings for me and our future, and 2. he is looking forward to marrying me; even so that he's sharing the honeymoon plans with co-workers! This amazed me last night because Greg is one of those people that likes to keep family, friends, and co-workers separate from each other. I learned that a long time ago. But, after last night's discussion, he's changing and integrating everyone! This makes me happy. Besides, Brooke told Greg that we are perfect for each other because we're both smart asses. Oh, that silly Brooke!

Ok, there are about 2 weeks left until the move. I am getting more and more excited! Unfortunately, these next two weekends are already busy. On Saturday, Greg and I are going to open the new checking accounts at Wachovia and Sunday is the Baseball game. Next Saturday is my cousin April's baby shower down in Waldorf. So, I am thinking that after Greg and I go to the bank on Saturday, we're going to start bagging, boxing, and tubing things. There really isn't all that much to move since we've both moved in the last 12 months. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about my 1200lb couch and Greg isn't taking his couch-like things because Pat, Greg's other brother, is giving us his couches! So, out of the townhouse, I am moving my bedroom stuff and the dining room table and chairs as well as a few kitchen items (plates, pots/pans, microwave, etc). We should be able to do it all in the afternoon.

Last night, I moved all my private posts from my Y! 360 blog to my 'secret garden' as I'm calling it, and re-opened the Y! 360 blog. It was interesting to read all the stuff I wrote about in March and April. My god, was I emotionally nuts back then. I feel, that with each month/cycle, my emotions are becoming a little more stable. So far, *knock on wood* I don't feel as insecure about some things that I did last month, but at the same time, I haven't started my cycle, yet (and I know it's on the way because my appetite has increased significantly, my lower back hurts, especially on the left side, I am feeling a little crampy, etc). So, we shall see how the week goes. At least my cycle will be over in time for moving; I hope. I didn't take my active pill on Sunday and I still haven't started. But, no matter what, I am going to start my new pack this coming Sunday.

Yesterday, at work, I ran across a very fascinating blog about infertility. The lady has an amazing writing and story telling style! I was completely engulfed in her blog and was reading from the very beginning. I plan on finishing up today (thankfully, we're fully staffed and the calls have died down some).

For a while, after the doctor told me that it would be nearly impossible for me to conceive on my own due to PCOS, I researched infertility treatments and Adam and I even talked about seeing a specialist just to get an idea of what our options would be when we were ready. Obviously, something changed from 2002 to 2006. It's 'weird' to think, but Adam and I were together for nearly 8 years and we never became pregnant; Greg and I were 'together' for 8 months and I become pregnant. Hmm, makes one think ... guess we'll never know... Anyway, there is hope for those out there that have been told 'you can not conceive naturally.'

-No Subject-

Fun! Another busy morning at work!!! I love it when we're short staffed; makes my days so entertaining!

Last night was interesting. Greg and I had a talk. We talked about a 'problem'. I warned him, though, that tonight might not be the best night to get into any type of discussion because I am about to start my cycle and my emotions are out of balance. Greg wanted to talk about why I get upset if he has to stay late for work. I told him that the whole reason he was to come over on Mon and Wed was to help with Amelia, so that I get some 'time off' of the responsibilities. Yet, if he has to stay late for work, then he's not really helping me and what is the point of driving all the way over if the help I needed is no longer needed and he replied "to be with you". I told him that I am afraid that once we're living together that I still won't be seeing him as much and that he'll only spend time with Amelia on the weekends, when he's not working. In all, Greg wants me to understand that if he has work to do that requires him to stay past 6pm, he's going to be late. I told him that I understood that, BUT, if you tell me that you're leaving at a specific time, like 6:30, then I am expecting you to be home within a certain time frame, knowing and understanding that there was work that kept you late, BUT if you don't leave at a time you told me you were, then I become upset.

In the end, Greg felt that I wasn't appreciating his efforts, which isn't true, and I told him it feels like I'm doing this alone. I know this is a busy time of year for him and I know he isn't working nearly as much over time as he used to. But, at the same time, it still feels like I am doing this, being with Amelia, alone while he still has his full 'day off' on Sundays and the rest of the week when he's not over at my place. He can still do all the things he wants without having to take care of a 5 month old. He doesn't have to wait to eat, clean, talk on the phone, use the computer, take a shower, etc., where as I HAVE to wait until Amelia is asleep before I can do half of the things I want to do. And, usually, by the time she's finally fallen asleep, I've lost all motivation to even do much of anything. I need Greg to be on time and help in order for me to feel like I am getting anything accomplished. This past Sunday was great! I did so much in my room and I felt GREAT!

All is well between Greg an me. At the end of the night, he told me that it feels really good, to him, to be able to talk about 'items' on his mind, rather than 'bite his tongue' and pretend everything is ok when it's not, as he has done with past relationships.

After our conversation, Greg and I watched Hells Kitchen. Greg is completely hooked on this show! And, this Wednesday, a new season of Top Chef starts on Bravo! Greg is really excited about this show as well. So far, I've turned Greg onto Scrubs, Heros, Hells Kitchen, Top Chef, Deal or No Deal (though we don't watch that show anymore), and a few more I can't remember at this moment. Granted, there are some shows that Greg and I don't enjoy together, such as America's Got Talent. Greg can't stand this show, and I could do without watching Modern Marvels (although, I will admit some of the episodes are interesting, but not enough to keep me a regular viewer).

Once Hells Kitchen was over, Greg and I went upstairs to lay in bed. We didn't turn the TV on or anything. We talked. And, did 'other' things. During the talking, I asked Greg if he feels we'd make it if we did marry each other. He, as well as I do, feels that we would. Especially since we are very open with each other and talk to each other when something is bothering us. But, I probed some more ,and asked what if after two years we realize we're not able to work out together, and Greg stated that we would know by now if we were going to make it or not; which is true. Greg and I have been friends for nearly 2 years (the 'anniversary' is Aug. 20, 2005) and if we didn't get along, then we wouldn't be where we are today.

Greg is the first person I've ever truly wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I can not imagine life without Greg. I get excited and giddy when I think about the future with Greg, such as trips, buying our first house together, extending our family, and much more. I've even started to 'daydream' about our wedding. I know I've said that I don't want a big, traditional, or anything close to a 'normal' wedding, but now I think I've changed my mind. Sorta. I'm thinking something small and close to home. I don't know if I want a wedding dress, at this time, or the traditonal brides maid and groomsmen, but I do think I want an event of some sort. Anyway, that's way in the future. Right now, I'm most eager about the engagement and how he's going to propose me. I've sent Greg pictures of rings that I've found of interest when ever I go to a mall or some place similar. I don't want anything too big, a half carat would be ideal. I like simple and unique designs. So, I'm pretty easy to please.

One thing at a time for now. First was the new car, now we have the move and adjustment. Then, maybe a few months down the road, will be the proposal.

17 Days and Counting...

I am so freaking excited about moving! Today, I've called BG&E to transfer the service to my new address, I've called my car insurance agent to remove the Pontiac from my insurance policy and am waiting for the faxed paper to sign and what not.

*~*~*~*~* Fast Forward to 4:25pm *~*~*~*~*

Today has been insanely busy, which doesn't help matters when we're short on staff.

During my lunch, I read my blog entries from this time last year on Y! 360 (which is still private, but I'm working on that) and MySpace (www.myspace.com/frye79). It's interesting to go back in time. OMG! I so remember the drama I went through with CCTA and Weis! It's hard to believe that I left Weis last June 17th. That's the day I cut my finger on one of the meat slicers. I was lucky enough not to cut it off, but I did get the tip! There was so much blood too! I even put on a size small glove to use a tourniquet to help stop the bleeding, which worked a little, but there was still some pretty significant bleeding. After a few hours, the bleeding did stop and a scab formed. I now have a scar on the tip of my finger! My finger print will never be the same. Boo-hoo. LOL

Last night, while Sean and I were cooking dinner, we were talking and he said that he wants to have a baby. I asked him if he's enjoyed having Amelia around and he said yes. Sean is also happy that we're going to be living close together after the move (practically across the parking lot). I am happy to have him around and for him to see Amelia reach her milestones.

I love listening to Amelia 'talk'. It's like she's telling a story in her words. She will babble and then shriek for joy and then babble some more. I really need to upload the video clip that Greg took yesterday morning.

Also, Amelia doesn't cry in the morning when she's hungry. On Sunday, she slept until 9:30am and that was when Greg and I woke her! We gave her a shower and then fed her and by then it's was 10:30am! Greg and I were wondering if we should be concerned about her recent sleeping and eating changes, but decided to see how she was for the rest of the day; and she was fine. Although, last night she was a sreaming terror around 6:45-7:00pm. Around 7:30, I took her upstairs and gave her some baby tylenol to help her teething pain and she feel asleep within 15 minutes and was out for the night!

Greg and I talked about opening our joint checking about with Wachovia. He wants to wait a little longer, until June 23, but I honestly can't wait that long so we're going to go to the bank this coming weekend! And, Wachovia has a promotion going on that they will give $25 for opening a new account by referral! So, if all goes well, Greg will get $25 for opening his own checking account and then I'll get $25 for referring him.