Re: Bad bad Bad

Well, Greg has finally completed one of the requests. It wasn't worded as I would have liked, but I'll accept it. After talking a little online as to why I am not in a good mood, I explained the issues that are hurting me and that being the requests. And, right now I feel the second request has lost it's meaning due to him taking so long to do the request. He says he's still going to send it, but what's the point; nearly 2 months have passed since the 'issue' and I see no real reason anymore. He missed the boat.

He's also stated that he still plans on coming over tonight despite my reasoning. He says he wants to help me feel better and I told him that I don't see a way as to how that will be possible but he says he has a way. Honestly, I can't think of anything, even completing the other request, that will make me 'happy' happy.

I didn't write much to Greg this afternoon. He sent me an email around 12:45 and I didn't reply until 4:50pm. I really wasn't in the mood to chat with him, muchless anyone else for that matter (which sucks because I work in a call center). Anyway, I asked how he was doing and he said not good because he is worried that he is loosing me and that he is confused about everything (such as me telling him there is no point in coming over whereas I usually try to keep him as long as possible) that is going on within me. I told him the reason of my hurt feelings and such and he has apologized and all, but he says my actions are hurting him as well.

I am in such a funk of a mood. I was feeling fine this morning until his phone call as he was en route to my place. For some reason that call triggered a snow ball to hell of emotions and feelings. Which I am confused about as well and that reason is because it's not like I've been keeping things, such as this issue about the request, bottled inside of me; he knows how I feel about his lack of responce to the request (and still hasn't done anything about it except for the one, but like I said about the other - there's really no point now), though I guess he didn't know how much meaning it had for me (but I was sure he knew at the time of the request).

In any event, Greg will be coming over tonight to talk about all of this. I'm not really looking forward to this because I know I'll be crying (as I've already done so today) and I hate how I cry over just about everything. I also hate to put the blame on my hormones and birth control, but I was never like this before.