Can you believe that I am all alone (well, Amelia is asleep at the moment) for the first time in a lllooonnnggg time? Yeah, it's so freaking nice. Greg had to run into work for about an hour and his Mom and brother Ken are out and about; so it's just me and Flickr. I love Flickr; though we're having a 'fight' at the moment (won't let me do a mass upload so I have to upload every single picture manually).
This weekend was fast and Great!
I honestly don't remember what happened on Friday after work...
Saturday was a busy day! Greg and I headed down to Waldorf at 1pm and the drive was probably one of the most scariest drives I've ever driven only because there were so many accidents that happened on 95 and 495, one of which I witnessed as it happened right behind me and freaked me out. This accident occurred on 495 and I am going to assume the funeral procession that was going on the opposite side of 495 distracted someone because the next thing I saw was a cloud of dust and then this blue car spinning all over the place in the middle of 495; it was like a scene out of a movie. I had such an adrenaline rush watching it and I nearly stopped to get out of the car to help (First Responder classes kicking in) but I didn't want to risk getting hit myself since I was sure it would have been a multi car accident.
We finally made it to Waldorf around 2:30 and met Mom at The Buffet where Amelia was waiting for us. Greg and I were in such a shock when we saw Amelia because Mom had her all dressed in jeans and a cute top and 2 little pig tails in her hair!! Amelia looked so much older than 7 months; it totally freaked Greg and I. We were like, 'where's our little girl?'.
After lunch, we headed over to April's and hung out for about an hour and on the way home, my girlfriend Michele called because she was in town (she lives in Hagerstown) and wanted to get together. We ended up meeting her at the Wal-Mart at Arundel Mills Mall since Greg and I had to get some diapers and we wanted to look at some condo things. It was nice to see Michele, I haven't seen her since March.
It was about 8pm when Greg and I made it home and Amelia didn't go to bed until 9!
Today, Sunday, Greg and I hung out at the apartment for a while; delaying the inevitable: Greg going to work on a Sunday. We finally left a little after 2pm, drove by his job and there were too many people there, so we went to Giant to get some more juice and cookies (damn cycle made me eat the rest of the Chips Ahoy!) and then to Staples where we bought a receipt book for the babysitter (in order to get my money back, I need the babysitters signature as proof of payment) and then to Target. I was surprised Greg and I only spent $50 at Target; I was expecting our total to me much higher since we picked up a huge box of Pampers, wipes, bottles, nipples, and other small items for Amelia. But, I'm not complaining.
Well, to conclude this entry, please enjoy this clip of Amelia eating her Peas and Toes for dinner last night:
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
12 August 2007
08 August 2007
whatdayoftheweekisit?
I work up this morning having no clue as to what day of the week it was. It was such a weird feeling...
Last night, I stopped by Greg's office, unannounced, and hung out for a few minutes while he finished making our 'Need/Want' List for the move next week. While he was working on that, I was chatting with Brooke and talking about the Ocean City Golfing Extravaganza in Sept., which sounds likes it's going to be a lot of fun!! Once Brooke left, Greg and I chatted about going out to dinner, even if it's a McDonalds and we eat inside rather than drive-thru; I just wanted to go out. We ended up going to Pizza Hut on Rt. 40. Our server was horrible and he totally messed up our order; but I didn't care because I was happy to be out and with Greg.
While waiting for our pizza, Greg and I chatted a little about a few things that were on my mind and then we focused on the 'Need/Want' List. Turns out that we don't need as many things as we thought we did. A majority of the items we need are for the two bathrooms (shower curtains, towels, rugs, accessories, etc) and things for Amelia's room (which it looks like a lot of people (ok, 4) feel that themes are a thing of the past for children's rooms), such as a lamp, bedding and such for her crib and a few other little things.
Another topic of discussion was brought on by someone that I had spoken to on the way to the Pizza Hut; an old 'FWB' that I met nearly three years ago. 'W' is engaged and has his wedding planned for this coming Oct (I am going to assume I wasn't invited, LOL); his bride-to-be doesn't know that 'W' still has a paid membership to an adult hook-up website and is still looking for fun (shoot, he's asked me many time this year to get together for 'lunch', to which I've declined and have told him that I am in love with Greg and am not interested in that friendship anymore); I asked 'W' why he's still looking and such and he had no real honest answer and mentioned something about his bride-to-be has expressed some, very little, interest in possibly having a third person join their 'party'. So, I asked him if his bride-to-be knows of the website and he said no and that he doesn't plan on telling about it anytime soon because she would freak if he told her. Umm, wouldn't that be a big flag to not do what you're doing? So, once I ended the conversation with 'W', I talked to Greg about it and asked how he would feel if he found out that I had a paid membership to said website and was actively looking without his knowledge. His reply is something that I would feel if I learned of the same. See, this is where communication is key in a relationship; Greg knows of every past 'FWB' that I speak with (on the rare occasion that a conversation with one of them (there are four that I talk to every now and then) occurs) and I tell him about the conversations of them on my own free will, he doesn't ask and I don't hide anything from him. Greg is an important person in my life, why would I not tell him what's going on in my life? Maybe I am more open than others, who knows, but that's just the way I am.
Oh, the Greg's review didn't happen last night; work was too busy, but it did happen this morning!! Greg's review was great and the raise was more than either of us were hoping for! Plus, the raise is effect immediately and will be reflected with the paycheck coming on Friday! Hooray!!! From our calculations, this check is going to be sweet and it may be more than enough to actually hire people to move our items next week, which is something we've been chatting about all morning via email. I am a little hesitant because I want to know for a fact that Greg and I are going to have more than enough money for next week and then for rent in September, which is two weeks after we move in! Greg understands my concerns but if pretty positive that we will be fine. It's awesome that Greg and I are paid on opposite weeks because every Friday, there will be a paycheck deposited into the joint account (as soon as our employers process the requests).
This move is getting very exciting and nerve wracking for me. I told Greg that I am afraid of a repeat of the 'life' I had with Adam once we moved in together; even though my heart is telling me that the life Greg and I will have together will be nothing like that of the past; but I can't help but worry. Also, I just realized that today would be my four year wedding anniversary if Adam and I were still together. I wonder if he remembers... meh, not important to wonder about those type of thoughts...
Oy! So much going on in my head!!! I'm missing Amelia a lot this week; I want to call Cousin April and see how's she doing, yet afraid because I remember how I felt after having Amelia; I need to talk to the Babysitter about having her sign a piece of paper stating that she is/has accepted money from me to watch Amelia so that I can be reimbursed; I'm hoping that my brother is doing well, financially, at his new place; wonder how my car is doing since it's been nearly 2 weeks since I handed it over to the repair shop... and many many more...
Last night, I stopped by Greg's office, unannounced, and hung out for a few minutes while he finished making our 'Need/Want' List for the move next week. While he was working on that, I was chatting with Brooke and talking about the Ocean City Golfing Extravaganza in Sept., which sounds likes it's going to be a lot of fun!! Once Brooke left, Greg and I chatted about going out to dinner, even if it's a McDonalds and we eat inside rather than drive-thru; I just wanted to go out. We ended up going to Pizza Hut on Rt. 40. Our server was horrible and he totally messed up our order; but I didn't care because I was happy to be out and with Greg.
While waiting for our pizza, Greg and I chatted a little about a few things that were on my mind and then we focused on the 'Need/Want' List. Turns out that we don't need as many things as we thought we did. A majority of the items we need are for the two bathrooms (shower curtains, towels, rugs, accessories, etc) and things for Amelia's room (which it looks like a lot of people (ok, 4) feel that themes are a thing of the past for children's rooms), such as a lamp, bedding and such for her crib and a few other little things.
Another topic of discussion was brought on by someone that I had spoken to on the way to the Pizza Hut; an old 'FWB' that I met nearly three years ago. 'W' is engaged and has his wedding planned for this coming Oct (I am going to assume I wasn't invited, LOL); his bride-to-be doesn't know that 'W' still has a paid membership to an adult hook-up website and is still looking for fun (shoot, he's asked me many time this year to get together for 'lunch', to which I've declined and have told him that I am in love with Greg and am not interested in that friendship anymore); I asked 'W' why he's still looking and such and he had no real honest answer and mentioned something about his bride-to-be has expressed some, very little, interest in possibly having a third person join their 'party'. So, I asked him if his bride-to-be knows of the website and he said no and that he doesn't plan on telling about it anytime soon because she would freak if he told her. Umm, wouldn't that be a big flag to not do what you're doing? So, once I ended the conversation with 'W', I talked to Greg about it and asked how he would feel if he found out that I had a paid membership to said website and was actively looking without his knowledge. His reply is something that I would feel if I learned of the same. See, this is where communication is key in a relationship; Greg knows of every past 'FWB' that I speak with (on the rare occasion that a conversation with one of them (there are four that I talk to every now and then) occurs) and I tell him about the conversations of them on my own free will, he doesn't ask and I don't hide anything from him. Greg is an important person in my life, why would I not tell him what's going on in my life? Maybe I am more open than others, who knows, but that's just the way I am.
Oh, the Greg's review didn't happen last night; work was too busy, but it did happen this morning!! Greg's review was great and the raise was more than either of us were hoping for! Plus, the raise is effect immediately and will be reflected with the paycheck coming on Friday! Hooray!!! From our calculations, this check is going to be sweet and it may be more than enough to actually hire people to move our items next week, which is something we've been chatting about all morning via email. I am a little hesitant because I want to know for a fact that Greg and I are going to have more than enough money for next week and then for rent in September, which is two weeks after we move in! Greg understands my concerns but if pretty positive that we will be fine. It's awesome that Greg and I are paid on opposite weeks because every Friday, there will be a paycheck deposited into the joint account (as soon as our employers process the requests).
This move is getting very exciting and nerve wracking for me. I told Greg that I am afraid of a repeat of the 'life' I had with Adam once we moved in together; even though my heart is telling me that the life Greg and I will have together will be nothing like that of the past; but I can't help but worry. Also, I just realized that today would be my four year wedding anniversary if Adam and I were still together. I wonder if he remembers... meh, not important to wonder about those type of thoughts...
Oy! So much going on in my head!!! I'm missing Amelia a lot this week; I want to call Cousin April and see how's she doing, yet afraid because I remember how I felt after having Amelia; I need to talk to the Babysitter about having her sign a piece of paper stating that she is/has accepted money from me to watch Amelia so that I can be reimbursed; I'm hoping that my brother is doing well, financially, at his new place; wonder how my car is doing since it's been nearly 2 weeks since I handed it over to the repair shop... and many many more...
19 July 2007
155
What does 155 mean? Well, this would be my 155th post here. I have 117 on MySpace.
Today has been unique. I haven't been at my desk much of the day, and here is why:
I get in at 9am. Yummy! Work provided breakfast for all; we have muffins, danishes, bagels, and an assortment of fresh fruit.
At 10:22am, we have our quarterly 'Town Hall' meeting. Very interesting meeting; learned about the company's raises (like when they're suppose to happen), products the company is going to try to gain new customers, etc.
Return to my desk at 12:15pm and immediately go on my lunch break (after my potty break). And, lunch was provided by Work, and catered by Macaroni Grill. I have the chicken and pasta with a Caesar salad. Yummy in my tummy.
So, that's what I've been up to this morning, in a nutshell.
Last night, Greg and I went to the storage place and unloaded some items that we've been carrying around in our cars. Afterwards, we went to Denny's for dinner. I just didn't feel like cooking last night.
Last night was pretty uneventful. We didn't do much of anything. Sean and Aaron have started packing the living room and we began discussing who is taking what and such.
Greg and I talked a bit more last night about things and eventually he told me that he doesn't want to talk about 'it' anymore (I was asking way too many questions about something; nothing about Greg and I and our future). So, I kinda dropped it. I, honestly, just wasn't feeling very chipper last night; if anything I was feeling kinda depressed. I had no real reason that I could my finger on for my depressed feeling though, so that kinda annoyed me. And, if I had to take a stab at what might be the reason, though my conscious mind isn't proving this, it would be that I am homeless come this weekend. I've never not had a place that I was a part of, well since Mom and Van met. This whole Greg and I finding a place to live has really dampened my spirits, I guess (again, can't confirm this 'theory' since my conscious mind isn't really telling me this, or so I don't think) *Mental Note: Never eat chocolate muffines; too messy and sticky*
Blaaahhh. I have a wicked headache, still. And can not find my Aleive.. bbbooo...
On the bright side, Greg sent me an email informing me to "So mark your calendar. Aug **th. MBC and friends gain 50lbs at the Orioles game. heheheheh. They were most excited about the all you can eat deal." Earlier this week or sometime last week, Greg told me that the Orioles are hosting "All-You-Can-Eat Left Field Club for the remainder of the season. The tickets are $35 per person and you can eat all you want on hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, soda, and so much more! Click on the link for more details.
I think I am done for now. I really can't remember what else I wanted to write about and this headache is really starting to get to me (moving down to my ears and neck now). I want a nap!
Today has been unique. I haven't been at my desk much of the day, and here is why:
So, that's what I've been up to this morning, in a nutshell.
Last night, Greg and I went to the storage place and unloaded some items that we've been carrying around in our cars. Afterwards, we went to Denny's for dinner. I just didn't feel like cooking last night.
Last night was pretty uneventful. We didn't do much of anything. Sean and Aaron have started packing the living room and we began discussing who is taking what and such.
Greg and I talked a bit more last night about things and eventually he told me that he doesn't want to talk about 'it' anymore (I was asking way too many questions about something; nothing about Greg and I and our future). So, I kinda dropped it. I, honestly, just wasn't feeling very chipper last night; if anything I was feeling kinda depressed. I had no real reason that I could my finger on for my depressed feeling though, so that kinda annoyed me. And, if I had to take a stab at what might be the reason, though my conscious mind isn't proving this, it would be that I am homeless come this weekend. I've never not had a place that I was a part of, well since Mom and Van met. This whole Greg and I finding a place to live has really dampened my spirits, I guess (again, can't confirm this 'theory' since my conscious mind isn't really telling me this, or so I don't think) *Mental Note: Never eat chocolate muffines; too messy and sticky*
Blaaahhh. I have a wicked headache, still. And can not find my Aleive.. bbbooo...
On the bright side, Greg sent me an email informing me to "So mark your calendar. Aug **th. MBC and friends gain 50lbs at the Orioles game. heheheheh. They were most excited about the all you can eat deal." Earlier this week or sometime last week, Greg told me that the Orioles are hosting "All-You-Can-Eat Left Field Club for the remainder of the season. The tickets are $35 per person and you can eat all you want on hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, soda, and so much more! Click on the link for more details.
I think I am done for now. I really can't remember what else I wanted to write about and this headache is really starting to get to me (moving down to my ears and neck now). I want a nap!
18 July 2007
Wednesday Babble
Happy Birthday, Momma!
Today is my Mom's 48th Birthday. Yeah, she's young (was 19 when she had me). My Grandma is only 67 years old; yeah, no kidding. I called my Mom this morning to wish her a happy birthday and we chatted for a bit. Talked about her Vegas Extravaganza and the birthday presents I gave her last month (Ice Tea Maker, I Love Lucy purse, and digital meat thermometer - all of which she loves) and her plans for the day (nothing special. She was just excited she found a farrier for the horse, Lucy).
Happy Birthday, Pat!
Today is Greg's brother, Pat, birthday as well. I believe he's turning 26. Pat is at some training camp in the west, I believe. Pat did call Greg last night and they chatted a bit and Greg was able to wish him a happy birthday (though, he would have forgotten if I hadn't of gone through Greg's calendar at work and marked everyone birthdays for him; what would he do without me?), but the main reason Pat called Greg was to tell him that he left milk in the refrigerator at his old apartment and to see if he could remove it before he had to turn in the keys. Eww!
Ok, now that the birthday wishes are done, let's continue with our normally scheduled program, shall we?
Last night after work, I headed over to Target to pick up the pictures I ordered on 7/12/07. I was surprised at how well they, mostly, turned out. Some were a little pixel-lated whereas others you couldn't tell if was from a 'normal' camera or digital. So, with my mind on Scrap booking, I decided to look at scrap booking stuff. Oy! So much to choose from! But, I did well and didn't buy anything... until... I walked towards the end of the isle, where they usually place their clearance items and saw what I've been wanting to buy since Amelia was born: A Memory Book; you know, the ones where you save pictures of their first hair cut, first Christmas and Halloween, First day of school, etc. The book was on clearance for..... $4.98!!! Yeah, that's all! So, I HAD to buy it (especially since the cheapest I've seen was about $20 at Babies-R-Us or the Hallmark store). It was a no brainer for me. Then, I walked down some more isles to see if I could find anything interesting for dinner, I didn't, but decided to buy a big jar of nuts. So, I walked out of Target only spending $11.55. I feel special.
Now, while at Target, Amelia was so giddy! She was actually laughing while in the isles! She would laugh every time I went "Boo" to her or would push the cart a little fast and then slow it down. It was so hilarious! I was tempted to call Greg and my Mom so they could hear how much she was laughing, but I couldn't keep a decent cell signal in the store. Then, I thought about recording her laugh to make it my ring tone, but I didn't want the sound of me going "Boo" to be in it. So, I wait a little longer for her to laugh at any and everything. I think it will be very soon.
I arrive home around 7:30 and take Amelia upstairs into my room and just lay on the bed with her and play. Sean comes in and lays on the bed too and plays with Amelia as well. Amelia licked Sean's nose.
Around 8pm, I put Amelia to bed (it's so cute to watch her rub her eyes...) and head down stairs to make dinner (pork chops, again). Greg arrives at 8:20, he was late (at which I told him he would be and he tried to deny that he would be late). We eat dinner and watch "America's Got Talent". Somewhere between 8:30 and 9:00, Greg goes upstairs, I didn't head up until 9:30. Greg was playing DD when I got to my room and I lied next to him and watched him play and began to give him directions on where to go and who was waiting for their food, etc. He lost. Afterwards, we laid in bed, in the dark, and talked. We did some deep talking. We talked for nearly an hour about a lot of relationship things (mainly his past relationships and the 'warning flags' that he ignored; about his best friend Jeff; and a little about our relationship and our future together). Now, mind you when I went upstairs at 9:30, it was to get a little action, if you know what I mean. So, when we started talking about relationships from the past and many of the other topics (which I won't mention here), by the time I began to change the subject, he wasn't really feeling 'it'. But, me wanting what I wanted I ended up getting it. LOL. It's a little joke that Greg and I have, between us. So, finally around 11:30, we head for sleepyland.
Today, this morning, I was late for work. Amelia and Greg were taking their sweet time getting ready! Then, I had to make lunch for Greg and me, which took nearly 20 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm just writing this because it something to write about.
I arrive at work about 5 minutes late. I had my Target bag with the pictures and Memory book, as well as my new tags (which I didn't put on last night; what can I say - i was lazy), though I don't know why I brought the tags... oh wait, now I do... because I wanted to bring the registration card before it gets lost in the townhouse... duh. So, as soon as I am at my desk, I share the pictures with my supervisor, who shares them with another co-worker, finally around 10am, she brings them back to my desk and then I begin my Memory Book Extravaganza! It has been interesting and enjoyable. There are so many things I have to wait for, though. But, the book in itself is neat because I can create my own pages and add them to the book, which I think I will do in the near future. So far, the only thing I've created is the Father's Day Page, along with filling out the story of when I found out I was pregnant, her birth information, and things along that nature.
I just received the following email from my roommate, Aaron:
-----Original Message-----
From: AARON GREENFIELD [mailto:agreenfield@*********.us]
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 1:45 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: yo
Hey cool kid. How's your day goin so far. Im ready to go home. do you wanna set off those fire works tonight?
My reply:
Sure!
Damn, you must be really bored to be sending me an email!
Anyway, I am feeling pretty energetic at the moment, though I don't' really know why. Maybe it has something to do with the skittles I ate with my lunch, but who knows.
Oh, as for yesterdays post about being focused. Yeah, I failed. I didn't even complete half of the accounts. Meh. Guess I could do it now...
I think I will start some work today...
Until then, Ciao!
Today is my Mom's 48th Birthday. Yeah, she's young (was 19 when she had me). My Grandma is only 67 years old; yeah, no kidding. I called my Mom this morning to wish her a happy birthday and we chatted for a bit. Talked about her Vegas Extravaganza and the birthday presents I gave her last month (Ice Tea Maker, I Love Lucy purse, and digital meat thermometer - all of which she loves) and her plans for the day (nothing special. She was just excited she found a farrier for the horse, Lucy).
Happy Birthday, Pat!
Today is Greg's brother, Pat, birthday as well. I believe he's turning 26. Pat is at some training camp in the west, I believe. Pat did call Greg last night and they chatted a bit and Greg was able to wish him a happy birthday (though, he would have forgotten if I hadn't of gone through Greg's calendar at work and marked everyone birthdays for him; what would he do without me?), but the main reason Pat called Greg was to tell him that he left milk in the refrigerator at his old apartment and to see if he could remove it before he had to turn in the keys. Eww!
Ok, now that the birthday wishes are done, let's continue with our normally scheduled program, shall we?
Last night after work, I headed over to Target to pick up the pictures I ordered on 7/12/07. I was surprised at how well they, mostly, turned out. Some were a little pixel-lated whereas others you couldn't tell if was from a 'normal' camera or digital. So, with my mind on Scrap booking, I decided to look at scrap booking stuff. Oy! So much to choose from! But, I did well and didn't buy anything... until... I walked towards the end of the isle, where they usually place their clearance items and saw what I've been wanting to buy since Amelia was born: A Memory Book; you know, the ones where you save pictures of their first hair cut, first Christmas and Halloween, First day of school, etc. The book was on clearance for..... $4.98!!! Yeah, that's all! So, I HAD to buy it (especially since the cheapest I've seen was about $20 at Babies-R-Us or the Hallmark store). It was a no brainer for me. Then, I walked down some more isles to see if I could find anything interesting for dinner, I didn't, but decided to buy a big jar of nuts. So, I walked out of Target only spending $11.55. I feel special.
Now, while at Target, Amelia was so giddy! She was actually laughing while in the isles! She would laugh every time I went "Boo" to her or would push the cart a little fast and then slow it down. It was so hilarious! I was tempted to call Greg and my Mom so they could hear how much she was laughing, but I couldn't keep a decent cell signal in the store. Then, I thought about recording her laugh to make it my ring tone, but I didn't want the sound of me going "Boo" to be in it. So, I wait a little longer for her to laugh at any and everything. I think it will be very soon.
I arrive home around 7:30 and take Amelia upstairs into my room and just lay on the bed with her and play. Sean comes in and lays on the bed too and plays with Amelia as well. Amelia licked Sean's nose.
Around 8pm, I put Amelia to bed (it's so cute to watch her rub her eyes...) and head down stairs to make dinner (pork chops, again). Greg arrives at 8:20, he was late (at which I told him he would be and he tried to deny that he would be late). We eat dinner and watch "America's Got Talent". Somewhere between 8:30 and 9:00, Greg goes upstairs, I didn't head up until 9:30. Greg was playing DD when I got to my room and I lied next to him and watched him play and began to give him directions on where to go and who was waiting for their food, etc. He lost. Afterwards, we laid in bed, in the dark, and talked. We did some deep talking. We talked for nearly an hour about a lot of relationship things (mainly his past relationships and the 'warning flags' that he ignored; about his best friend Jeff; and a little about our relationship and our future together). Now, mind you when I went upstairs at 9:30, it was to get a little action, if you know what I mean. So, when we started talking about relationships from the past and many of the other topics (which I won't mention here), by the time I began to change the subject, he wasn't really feeling 'it'. But, me wanting what I wanted I ended up getting it. LOL. It's a little joke that Greg and I have, between us. So, finally around 11:30, we head for sleepyland.
Today, this morning, I was late for work. Amelia and Greg were taking their sweet time getting ready! Then, I had to make lunch for Greg and me, which took nearly 20 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm just writing this because it something to write about.
I arrive at work about 5 minutes late. I had my Target bag with the pictures and Memory book, as well as my new tags (which I didn't put on last night; what can I say - i was lazy), though I don't know why I brought the tags... oh wait, now I do... because I wanted to bring the registration card before it gets lost in the townhouse... duh. So, as soon as I am at my desk, I share the pictures with my supervisor, who shares them with another co-worker, finally around 10am, she brings them back to my desk and then I begin my Memory Book Extravaganza! It has been interesting and enjoyable. There are so many things I have to wait for, though. But, the book in itself is neat because I can create my own pages and add them to the book, which I think I will do in the near future. So far, the only thing I've created is the Father's Day Page, along with filling out the story of when I found out I was pregnant, her birth information, and things along that nature.
I just received the following email from my roommate, Aaron:
-----Original Message-----
From: AARON GREENFIELD [mailto:agreenfield@*********.us]
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 1:45 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: yo
Hey cool kid. How's your day goin so far. Im ready to go home. do you wanna set off those fire works tonight?
My reply:
Sure!
Damn, you must be really bored to be sending me an email!
Anyway, I am feeling pretty energetic at the moment, though I don't' really know why. Maybe it has something to do with the skittles I ate with my lunch, but who knows.
Oh, as for yesterdays post about being focused. Yeah, I failed. I didn't even complete half of the accounts. Meh. Guess I could do it now...
I think I will start some work today...
Until then, Ciao!
07 July 2007
Pillow Talk
Last night, or I should say this morning, Greg and I lied in bed and talked until 2am (nearly). We talked about so many things.
One topic was about the path of life we've lived. Mainly about his learning experience and mine with our past relationships and how we didn't listen to what our mind or 'gut instinct' was telling us. We both have one event that we would re-do if it were possible, but then we think about that if we hadn't done what we did then we probably would have never met. Which is possible, but I don't think it's entirely true. If we were meant to be together, as we both feel we are, then we would have found our ways to each other.
Another topic was about our life together as husband and wife. Greg feels in his heart that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. Greg wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows this as a fact for him. I then asked Greg what the delay is for proposing to me (aside from the obvious; moving, stress about moving, and money because of the impending moving) and he said that he isn't ready. I asked for a more detailed answer because if he said he knew in his heart that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then what isn't he ready for, and his response was that he isn't ready because he wants to make this proposal special and he hasn't thought of how, yet. He stated his last proposal kinda ruined it for any future proposal because he was able to make it perfect for her and in his eyes as well. I reminded him that I am not a high maintenance girl and that I am not expecting anything elaborate as his last proposal (but I am expecting Greg to do something better than Adam). I joked that I don't want him to propose to me by creating a sign with cups over 100 (apparently it has become pretty popular to wish someone happy birthday or to congratulate someone by placing cups to spell out words into the chain link fence on the overpasses in Maryland). His reply was: "That's perfect!" I smacked him, though I knew he was joking. But, basically, Greg wants this proposal to be meaningful, amazing, and best ever since it's going to be his last (as he has been engaged twice).
Hearing all of the above (both topics) made me feel really good about a lot of things. Hearing someone tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you gives one an amazing emotional rush. It's like someone choose you to start a whole new chapter in their life, someone wants you to be with them and experiance things together and be one. Then, hearing Greg tell me why he hasn't proposed to me (well, with a ring at least) also shows how, in a sense (and maybe no one but me will understand this feeling) he wants to make all my fantasies, day dreams, wishes, etc. come true; even the ones I haven't thought of yet. I don't have a fantisy about how Greg is going to propose to me. I don't have a dream wedding in my mind. The only things that I am wishing for at the moment is to find a place to live. The only things I am day dreaming about at the moment is how Greg and I are going to decorate our new place and a little about which engagement ring he's going to surprise me with (even though we haven't looked at any and I told him that I want him to choose the ring all by himself, since I want to be completely surprised), and a vacation.
Speaking of vacation, remember when I mentioned that Greg has three surprises that he's working on? Well, I got him to 'spill the beans' on one of the surprises and it's a trip to North Carolina. Though, we don't know if this will be happening since we haven't found a place to live. As for the other two surprises, well... one he forgot all about and can't remember what he was planning, and the other is the bigger surprise and he won't budge on any information.
I have a feeling that the rest of 2007 is going to be amazing and full of so many new things and experiences.
One topic was about the path of life we've lived. Mainly about his learning experience and mine with our past relationships and how we didn't listen to what our mind or 'gut instinct' was telling us. We both have one event that we would re-do if it were possible, but then we think about that if we hadn't done what we did then we probably would have never met. Which is possible, but I don't think it's entirely true. If we were meant to be together, as we both feel we are, then we would have found our ways to each other.
Another topic was about our life together as husband and wife. Greg feels in his heart that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. Greg wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows this as a fact for him. I then asked Greg what the delay is for proposing to me (aside from the obvious; moving, stress about moving, and money because of the impending moving) and he said that he isn't ready. I asked for a more detailed answer because if he said he knew in his heart that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then what isn't he ready for, and his response was that he isn't ready because he wants to make this proposal special and he hasn't thought of how, yet. He stated his last proposal kinda ruined it for any future proposal because he was able to make it perfect for her and in his eyes as well. I reminded him that I am not a high maintenance girl and that I am not expecting anything elaborate as his last proposal (but I am expecting Greg to do something better than Adam). I joked that I don't want him to propose to me by creating a sign with cups over 100 (apparently it has become pretty popular to wish someone happy birthday or to congratulate someone by placing cups to spell out words into the chain link fence on the overpasses in Maryland). His reply was: "That's perfect!" I smacked him, though I knew he was joking. But, basically, Greg wants this proposal to be meaningful, amazing, and best ever since it's going to be his last (as he has been engaged twice).
Hearing all of the above (both topics) made me feel really good about a lot of things. Hearing someone tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you gives one an amazing emotional rush. It's like someone choose you to start a whole new chapter in their life, someone wants you to be with them and experiance things together and be one. Then, hearing Greg tell me why he hasn't proposed to me (well, with a ring at least) also shows how, in a sense (and maybe no one but me will understand this feeling) he wants to make all my fantasies, day dreams, wishes, etc. come true; even the ones I haven't thought of yet. I don't have a fantisy about how Greg is going to propose to me. I don't have a dream wedding in my mind. The only things that I am wishing for at the moment is to find a place to live. The only things I am day dreaming about at the moment is how Greg and I are going to decorate our new place and a little about which engagement ring he's going to surprise me with (even though we haven't looked at any and I told him that I want him to choose the ring all by himself, since I want to be completely surprised), and a vacation.
Speaking of vacation, remember when I mentioned that Greg has three surprises that he's working on? Well, I got him to 'spill the beans' on one of the surprises and it's a trip to North Carolina. Though, we don't know if this will be happening since we haven't found a place to live. As for the other two surprises, well... one he forgot all about and can't remember what he was planning, and the other is the bigger surprise and he won't budge on any information.
I have a feeling that the rest of 2007 is going to be amazing and full of so many new things and experiences.
12 June 2007
-No Subject-
Fun! Another busy morning at work!!! I love it when we're short staffed; makes my days so entertaining!
Last night was interesting. Greg and I had a talk. We talked about a 'problem'. I warned him, though, that tonight might not be the best night to get into any type of discussion because I am about to start my cycle and my emotions are out of balance. Greg wanted to talk about why I get upset if he has to stay late for work. I told him that the whole reason he was to come over on Mon and Wed was to help with Amelia, so that I get some 'time off' of the responsibilities. Yet, if he has to stay late for work, then he's not really helping me and what is the point of driving all the way over if the help I needed is no longer needed and he replied "to be with you". I told him that I am afraid that once we're living together that I still won't be seeing him as much and that he'll only spend time with Amelia on the weekends, when he's not working. In all, Greg wants me to understand that if he has work to do that requires him to stay past 6pm, he's going to be late. I told him that I understood that, BUT, if you tell me that you're leaving at a specific time, like 6:30, then I am expecting you to be home within a certain time frame, knowing and understanding that there was work that kept you late, BUT if you don't leave at a time you told me you were, then I become upset.
In the end, Greg felt that I wasn't appreciating his efforts, which isn't true, and I told him it feels like I'm doing this alone. I know this is a busy time of year for him and I know he isn't working nearly as much over time as he used to. But, at the same time, it still feels like I am doing this, being with Amelia, alone while he still has his full 'day off' on Sundays and the rest of the week when he's not over at my place. He can still do all the things he wants without having to take care of a 5 month old. He doesn't have to wait to eat, clean, talk on the phone, use the computer, take a shower, etc., where as I HAVE to wait until Amelia is asleep before I can do half of the things I want to do. And, usually, by the time she's finally fallen asleep, I've lost all motivation to even do much of anything. I need Greg to be on time and help in order for me to feel like I am getting anything accomplished. This past Sunday was great! I did so much in my room and I felt GREAT!
All is well between Greg an me. At the end of the night, he told me that it feels really good, to him, to be able to talk about 'items' on his mind, rather than 'bite his tongue' and pretend everything is ok when it's not, as he has done with past relationships.
After our conversation, Greg and I watched Hells Kitchen. Greg is completely hooked on this show! And, this Wednesday, a new season of Top Chef starts on Bravo! Greg is really excited about this show as well. So far, I've turned Greg onto Scrubs, Heros, Hells Kitchen, Top Chef, Deal or No Deal (though we don't watch that show anymore), and a few more I can't remember at this moment. Granted, there are some shows that Greg and I don't enjoy together, such as America's Got Talent. Greg can't stand this show, and I could do without watching Modern Marvels (although, I will admit some of the episodes are interesting, but not enough to keep me a regular viewer).
Once Hells Kitchen was over, Greg and I went upstairs to lay in bed. We didn't turn the TV on or anything. We talked. And, did 'other' things. During the talking, I asked Greg if he feels we'd make it if we did marry each other. He, as well as I do, feels that we would. Especially since we are very open with each other and talk to each other when something is bothering us. But, I probed some more ,and asked what if after two years we realize we're not able to work out together, and Greg stated that we would know by now if we were going to make it or not; which is true. Greg and I have been friends for nearly 2 years (the 'anniversary' is Aug. 20, 2005) and if we didn't get along, then we wouldn't be where we are today.
Greg is the first person I've ever truly wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I can not imagine life without Greg. I get excited and giddy when I think about the future with Greg, such as trips, buying our first house together, extending our family, and much more. I've even started to 'daydream' about our wedding. I know I've said that I don't want a big, traditional, or anything close to a 'normal' wedding, but now I think I've changed my mind. Sorta. I'm thinking something small and close to home. I don't know if I want a wedding dress, at this time, or the traditonal brides maid and groomsmen, but I do think I want an event of some sort. Anyway, that's way in the future. Right now, I'm most eager about the engagement and how he's going to propose me. I've sent Greg pictures of rings that I've found of interest when ever I go to a mall or some place similar. I don't want anything too big, a half carat would be ideal. I like simple and unique designs. So, I'm pretty easy to please.
One thing at a time for now. First was the new car, now we have the move and adjustment. Then, maybe a few months down the road, will be the proposal.
Last night was interesting. Greg and I had a talk. We talked about a 'problem'. I warned him, though, that tonight might not be the best night to get into any type of discussion because I am about to start my cycle and my emotions are out of balance. Greg wanted to talk about why I get upset if he has to stay late for work. I told him that the whole reason he was to come over on Mon and Wed was to help with Amelia, so that I get some 'time off' of the responsibilities. Yet, if he has to stay late for work, then he's not really helping me and what is the point of driving all the way over if the help I needed is no longer needed and he replied "to be with you". I told him that I am afraid that once we're living together that I still won't be seeing him as much and that he'll only spend time with Amelia on the weekends, when he's not working. In all, Greg wants me to understand that if he has work to do that requires him to stay past 6pm, he's going to be late. I told him that I understood that, BUT, if you tell me that you're leaving at a specific time, like 6:30, then I am expecting you to be home within a certain time frame, knowing and understanding that there was work that kept you late, BUT if you don't leave at a time you told me you were, then I become upset.
In the end, Greg felt that I wasn't appreciating his efforts, which isn't true, and I told him it feels like I'm doing this alone. I know this is a busy time of year for him and I know he isn't working nearly as much over time as he used to. But, at the same time, it still feels like I am doing this, being with Amelia, alone while he still has his full 'day off' on Sundays and the rest of the week when he's not over at my place. He can still do all the things he wants without having to take care of a 5 month old. He doesn't have to wait to eat, clean, talk on the phone, use the computer, take a shower, etc., where as I HAVE to wait until Amelia is asleep before I can do half of the things I want to do. And, usually, by the time she's finally fallen asleep, I've lost all motivation to even do much of anything. I need Greg to be on time and help in order for me to feel like I am getting anything accomplished. This past Sunday was great! I did so much in my room and I felt GREAT!
All is well between Greg an me. At the end of the night, he told me that it feels really good, to him, to be able to talk about 'items' on his mind, rather than 'bite his tongue' and pretend everything is ok when it's not, as he has done with past relationships.
After our conversation, Greg and I watched Hells Kitchen. Greg is completely hooked on this show! And, this Wednesday, a new season of Top Chef starts on Bravo! Greg is really excited about this show as well. So far, I've turned Greg onto Scrubs, Heros, Hells Kitchen, Top Chef, Deal or No Deal (though we don't watch that show anymore), and a few more I can't remember at this moment. Granted, there are some shows that Greg and I don't enjoy together, such as America's Got Talent. Greg can't stand this show, and I could do without watching Modern Marvels (although, I will admit some of the episodes are interesting, but not enough to keep me a regular viewer).
Once Hells Kitchen was over, Greg and I went upstairs to lay in bed. We didn't turn the TV on or anything. We talked. And, did 'other' things. During the talking, I asked Greg if he feels we'd make it if we did marry each other. He, as well as I do, feels that we would. Especially since we are very open with each other and talk to each other when something is bothering us. But, I probed some more ,and asked what if after two years we realize we're not able to work out together, and Greg stated that we would know by now if we were going to make it or not; which is true. Greg and I have been friends for nearly 2 years (the 'anniversary' is Aug. 20, 2005) and if we didn't get along, then we wouldn't be where we are today.
Greg is the first person I've ever truly wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I can not imagine life without Greg. I get excited and giddy when I think about the future with Greg, such as trips, buying our first house together, extending our family, and much more. I've even started to 'daydream' about our wedding. I know I've said that I don't want a big, traditional, or anything close to a 'normal' wedding, but now I think I've changed my mind. Sorta. I'm thinking something small and close to home. I don't know if I want a wedding dress, at this time, or the traditonal brides maid and groomsmen, but I do think I want an event of some sort. Anyway, that's way in the future. Right now, I'm most eager about the engagement and how he's going to propose me. I've sent Greg pictures of rings that I've found of interest when ever I go to a mall or some place similar. I don't want anything too big, a half carat would be ideal. I like simple and unique designs. So, I'm pretty easy to please.
One thing at a time for now. First was the new car, now we have the move and adjustment. Then, maybe a few months down the road, will be the proposal.
24 May 2007
Thursdays Trials & Tribulations
This week has probably got to be the worst week I've experienced in some time.
I am feeling a little better today, though not by much. At least I don't have a headache anymore.
I just sent the following email to Greg:
Do you know how much you mean to me? How special you make me feel? How much I value your thoughts and feelings about us? How much I truly and deeply love you and how scared that makes me feel, only because I have never felt like this for someone in my entire life?
I just want to tell you that you are the most amazing person to ever enter my life and I value everyday I have with you, regardless of how challenging I may make it (like last night).
You are my future. And I couldn't’t be happier.
I love you.
Jess
and this is his reply:
Awwwwwww. That makes me feel so good and special thank you so much baby. Everything this morning felt so great, even just the snooze button pushing and cuddling. :)
Nothing has ever felt as right as it does with you....we just feel so perfect for each other and I love it. I love you so much Jess Jess, and I can't wait to live with you everyday and we can start our own lives as a family. :)
I didn't mind last night as long as we talk it out and come to understandings, challenges are what make so varied and fun. :)
Love you soo much,
Greg
::HUGS:: ::SMOOCHES::
I know I challenge Greg with all these weird crazy mood swings I go through but he doesn't seem to mind. He wants me to tell him whats bothering me, he wants to help me feel better. Last night, Greg and I stayed at work until 9pm. A majority of that time we were talking about people from our past and the 'friendships' that continued. I told Greg about the conversation with Dave and Greg read my blog entry as well. I told Greg what really pissed me off about Dave was that he couldn't tell me the truth. Like I said, if you're going to exclude me from your life after a 10 year history, at least be honest and tell me why. I would tell him, or anyone for that matter, why I decided to no longer be friends. But, I am over Dave's bullshit. I've already moved on.
The discussion Greg and I had last night has helped me feel better about things in general. It was frustrating to try to explain what I was feeling even when I didn't know what I was feeling. But, the conversation ended up revolving how we see people as a friend vs. acquaintance.
Once Greg and I left his job, we ran to Giant to get ice (Greg and I have a weird need for bagged ice) and drinks. Then, we headed over to Denny's for a late dinner. It was after 10:30 by the time we got home. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Greg and I didn't talk about any of our previous conversation of the night and just watched tv. Then, around 11:30 I decided that I wanted to make love to Greg and we had an amazing evening. And, then he was asleep! I hate it when he falls asleep before me because I want to fall asleep as he's running his fingers through my hair or petting me. But, he tried to stay awake though he wasn't successful.
This morning, Greg and I kept hitting the snooze button on our cell phones. Neither of us wanted to wake up, much less get out of bed and go to work. Sleep felt so good. I slept so deeply too. I usually do after a good night of crying or when I am extreamly stressed, and last night was both. Also, last night I has a really weird dream: I dreampt that I was at some bar/resturant and I stepped away from Amelia who was on this round sofa/couch thing. She was the same age as she is now, four months old, and as I was at the counter getting the sodas and pizza, some worker yelled at me for putting the money on the counter and the menu and I was like, geez! Then, I turned around and saw Amelia making her way off the round sofa. She wasn't rolling off, she was climbing off, and as soon as she reached the ground she just layed there because she can't crawl or sit up on her own yet. And I remember thinking in my dream how weird it was for her to be able to do that. Then, out of no where, a person that I went to high school with, Steven, sat down on the sofa with me and we started a conversation. The dream was just so weird.
I leave in about a half hour to meet my Mom in Chuck Co. On my way to work, I realized that I forgot to pack any type of clothing. No pajamas, no underpants, nothing at all! How absent minded can I be? At least Greg and I remembered to put the stroller back in my car from his.
There was something else I wanted to write but I can't remember it at the moment.
Oh well.
Until then...
Jess
I am feeling a little better today, though not by much. At least I don't have a headache anymore.
I just sent the following email to Greg:
Do you know how much you mean to me? How special you make me feel? How much I value your thoughts and feelings about us? How much I truly and deeply love you and how scared that makes me feel, only because I have never felt like this for someone in my entire life?
I just want to tell you that you are the most amazing person to ever enter my life and I value everyday I have with you, regardless of how challenging I may make it (like last night).
You are my future. And I couldn't’t be happier.
I love you.
Jess
and this is his reply:
Awwwwwww. That makes me feel so good and special thank you so much baby. Everything this morning felt so great, even just the snooze button pushing and cuddling. :)
Nothing has ever felt as right as it does with you....we just feel so perfect for each other and I love it. I love you so much Jess Jess, and I can't wait to live with you everyday and we can start our own lives as a family. :)
I didn't mind last night as long as we talk it out and come to understandings, challenges are what make so varied and fun. :)
Love you soo much,
Greg
::HUGS:: ::SMOOCHES::
I know I challenge Greg with all these weird crazy mood swings I go through but he doesn't seem to mind. He wants me to tell him whats bothering me, he wants to help me feel better. Last night, Greg and I stayed at work until 9pm. A majority of that time we were talking about people from our past and the 'friendships' that continued. I told Greg about the conversation with Dave and Greg read my blog entry as well. I told Greg what really pissed me off about Dave was that he couldn't tell me the truth. Like I said, if you're going to exclude me from your life after a 10 year history, at least be honest and tell me why. I would tell him, or anyone for that matter, why I decided to no longer be friends. But, I am over Dave's bullshit. I've already moved on.
The discussion Greg and I had last night has helped me feel better about things in general. It was frustrating to try to explain what I was feeling even when I didn't know what I was feeling. But, the conversation ended up revolving how we see people as a friend vs. acquaintance.
Once Greg and I left his job, we ran to Giant to get ice (Greg and I have a weird need for bagged ice) and drinks. Then, we headed over to Denny's for a late dinner. It was after 10:30 by the time we got home. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Greg and I didn't talk about any of our previous conversation of the night and just watched tv. Then, around 11:30 I decided that I wanted to make love to Greg and we had an amazing evening. And, then he was asleep! I hate it when he falls asleep before me because I want to fall asleep as he's running his fingers through my hair or petting me. But, he tried to stay awake though he wasn't successful.
This morning, Greg and I kept hitting the snooze button on our cell phones. Neither of us wanted to wake up, much less get out of bed and go to work. Sleep felt so good. I slept so deeply too. I usually do after a good night of crying or when I am extreamly stressed, and last night was both. Also, last night I has a really weird dream: I dreampt that I was at some bar/resturant and I stepped away from Amelia who was on this round sofa/couch thing. She was the same age as she is now, four months old, and as I was at the counter getting the sodas and pizza, some worker yelled at me for putting the money on the counter and the menu and I was like, geez! Then, I turned around and saw Amelia making her way off the round sofa. She wasn't rolling off, she was climbing off, and as soon as she reached the ground she just layed there because she can't crawl or sit up on her own yet. And I remember thinking in my dream how weird it was for her to be able to do that. Then, out of no where, a person that I went to high school with, Steven, sat down on the sofa with me and we started a conversation. The dream was just so weird.
I leave in about a half hour to meet my Mom in Chuck Co. On my way to work, I realized that I forgot to pack any type of clothing. No pajamas, no underpants, nothing at all! How absent minded can I be? At least Greg and I remembered to put the stroller back in my car from his.
There was something else I wanted to write but I can't remember it at the moment.
Oh well.
Until then...
Jess
23 May 2007
Interesting Read
I posted this article a while ago and thought I would re post it:
Entry for April 17, 2007 II
Why you don't have to have sex to cheat
Test your emotional faithfulness with 8 questions
All of us know that adultery — sex outside the marriage — is one of the gravest blows to a relationship as well as a painful rejection for one partner. But you don't have to have sex with anyone else to be unfaithful. Emotional infidelity is just as — and at times even more —destructive to relationships. Couples I counsel are absolutely outraged when I tell them that they could well be committing emotional infidelity when they flirt with co-workers, send around funny e-mails to colleagues, or hang out with members of the opposite sex at gatherings. But they are, and so, probably, are you.
You're not going to want to hear this, but stopping this kind of behavior is the single most important thing you can do for your relationship. It's not about where it may lead. It's about where it has already gone — far from your focus on your relationship. Remember what it is you've always wanted from your committed relationship, and start considering the large, determined commitment that is absolutely necessary to creating a happy coupling.
What's the harm in a man having a casual friendship with a woman when either has a partner? Or a married woman having a casual friendship with another man? Surely, every friendship doesn't lead to an affair. Yet we forget the emotional harm of relating to someone outside the relationship when that same energy can be used to relate to our own spouse. A committed relationship is about relating to another person with an intimacy felt with no one else.
How do you know if you're being unfaithful?
Consider your personal relationships:
When you hear a funny joke or good piece of gossip, do you first tell other colleagues? By the time you get home, have you chewed it all over so much at the office that you don't feel like telling it again to your partner?
Do you discuss all of your work problems (or issues involving volunteer work or other important things you are involved in) so thoroughly with colleagues that you're all talked out by the time you return home? Do you feel like it would take too long to review and explain the entire issue from scratch to your partner?
Do you go out alone to lunch or after work for drinks with members of the opposite sex?
Do you enjoy harmless (by your definition) flirtation at a cocktail party?
Do you believe that getting emotionally excited by flirting with someone else is helpful to your relationship? Do you think it helps educate you as to what you need more of from your partner? Do you tell yourself that the juice you get from flirting with others brings more vitality to your relationship?
Do you spend as long buying the "right gift" for a colleague as you do for your own partner?
Do you ride in a car sharing with someone else pleasant, personal conversations on the way to meetings or other work-related events?
Do you share intimate issues about yourself or relationship with a member of the opposite sex?
If you're doing any of these things, you're being emotionally unfaithful to your partner. You have only so much energy. If you're spending it with co-workers or outside the home and then getting home and feeling too tired to spend anymore on your partner, that's emotional infidelity. You're effectively relocating vital relationship energy into the hands of others. Forget about where it might end up. Even if you never touch this other person, you have still used that person to relate to, and in doing so, you relate away from your partner.
You may be shaking your head and disagreeing. But I've spent years helping couples pool their energies toward each other, and it has changed their relationship immediately. Stop all of these outside relationships and bring all your emotional and sexual energy home to your partner, and you, too, will change your relationship immediately."
So, that's some food for thought! Seriously, think about the 8 questions in the article and put yourself in those questions. I will admit, in the past, I have been guilty of numbers: 3, 4, and 8. But, in my defense, those were at the time that Adam wouldn't communicate with me. So, in a sense, I tried to not 'cheat' but he drove me to seek someone to 'cheat' with.
Now, the relationship Greg and I have is completely different than the one I had with Adam and what makes this huge difference is our communication with each other. He tells me everything that has happened at work (either via email throughout the day or when we talk to each other after work), he even tells me that he's been talking to his ex's (like today, he's been talking to both of them and even shared an email from one of them during lunch). I don't get jealous because he still talks to both of them because I know that his commitment is to me and that he would never do anything to 'loose me'. And, Greg knows that I still communicate with Adam (also, I usually BCC'd Greg on any correspondence between Adam and me) as well as with a few past 'FWB's (friends with benefits). Greg doesn't feel any jealousy either. We trust each other because we are completely honest and open with each other. Shit, he knows that one of my old FWB has been asking about he and I getting together for lunch one week and that I've accepted his lunch offer and Greg isn't jealous one bit because he can trust me and knows it. Adam, on the other hand, didn't trust me and each time I would go out with a group of friends he would ask, before I left, 'Can I trust you?".
I posted the article on April 17, I believe. As I type, I am at Greg's office and we just had a major discussion about being honest with each other, trusting each other and how we measure someone as a real friend vs. and acquaintance. I believe, that if you're a real friend to someone you must be truthful and honest with them no matter if the result hurts them. At least they know the truth and are not being mislead into believe that things are ok between them and the other person.
Greg doesn't like confrontation. He'd rather avoid the truth, him telling it, and just deal with 'it', what ever it is, with himself. I tell him that he is then misleading the person in believing that there isn't anything wrong when in fact there is.
The whole discussion Greg and I had is about about his 'friendship' with someone from his past. It doesn't bother me that they still talk, but it bothers me that he isn't truthful with this person. He doesn't tell them when they piss him off or defend himself if they say something that makes him look like the bad guy. Greg says he doesn't care. Yet, my argument is that if what is said has some emotional reaction, such as anger, then he does care. Greg is so passive about this whole... whatever I call it. I feel that if this person treated you, in general, like shit, lies about you to others, makes you look like a bad guy, then why would you even want to be 'friends' with them? So what if you have history; the history wasn't even all that positive a majority of the time. Why even associate yourself with someone that made you feel miserable sometimes. Is the 'friendship' really worth it; especially if you can't or won't be honest with them? In my opinion, no.
Like I said, Greg doesn't like confrontation. So I asked him last night what would he call our disgusion and he said it was confrontation, in a sort. I trust Greg. I have no reason to not trust him. I know some of the actions he did with his past relationship and he knows what I did with my last relationship. Even though they say "Once a cheater, always a cheater" I don't believe that. At one point in time I did, but only while I was with Adam. I thought that while I was with him, I would always cheat on him. But, being with Greg, I have absolutley no desire to be with another man nor do I confide my emotions to someone else when there is a 'issue'. I tell EVERYTHING to Greg, the good, bad, and ugly. I don't hide anything from him. Even when I did something 'sneaky' this past March and when the truth came out, the first thing I did was confide to Greg about what I did and he wasn't even upset! I, on the other hand, felt horrible about my actions because I did something that I would never even consider, usually. But, even though this isn't an excuse, I blame the damn birth control I was on at that time. Since then, I've been much better. Even though I still get emotional mood swings just before or after my cycle. In due time, I am hoping that too will go away.
Entry for April 17, 2007 II
Why you don't have to have sex to cheat
Test your emotional faithfulness with 8 questions
All of us know that adultery — sex outside the marriage — is one of the gravest blows to a relationship as well as a painful rejection for one partner. But you don't have to have sex with anyone else to be unfaithful. Emotional infidelity is just as — and at times even more —destructive to relationships. Couples I counsel are absolutely outraged when I tell them that they could well be committing emotional infidelity when they flirt with co-workers, send around funny e-mails to colleagues, or hang out with members of the opposite sex at gatherings. But they are, and so, probably, are you.
You're not going to want to hear this, but stopping this kind of behavior is the single most important thing you can do for your relationship. It's not about where it may lead. It's about where it has already gone — far from your focus on your relationship. Remember what it is you've always wanted from your committed relationship, and start considering the large, determined commitment that is absolutely necessary to creating a happy coupling.
What's the harm in a man having a casual friendship with a woman when either has a partner? Or a married woman having a casual friendship with another man? Surely, every friendship doesn't lead to an affair. Yet we forget the emotional harm of relating to someone outside the relationship when that same energy can be used to relate to our own spouse. A committed relationship is about relating to another person with an intimacy felt with no one else.
How do you know if you're being unfaithful?
Consider your personal relationships:
When you hear a funny joke or good piece of gossip, do you first tell other colleagues? By the time you get home, have you chewed it all over so much at the office that you don't feel like telling it again to your partner?
Do you discuss all of your work problems (or issues involving volunteer work or other important things you are involved in) so thoroughly with colleagues that you're all talked out by the time you return home? Do you feel like it would take too long to review and explain the entire issue from scratch to your partner?
Do you go out alone to lunch or after work for drinks with members of the opposite sex?
Do you enjoy harmless (by your definition) flirtation at a cocktail party?
Do you believe that getting emotionally excited by flirting with someone else is helpful to your relationship? Do you think it helps educate you as to what you need more of from your partner? Do you tell yourself that the juice you get from flirting with others brings more vitality to your relationship?
Do you spend as long buying the "right gift" for a colleague as you do for your own partner?
Do you ride in a car sharing with someone else pleasant, personal conversations on the way to meetings or other work-related events?
Do you share intimate issues about yourself or relationship with a member of the opposite sex?
If you're doing any of these things, you're being emotionally unfaithful to your partner. You have only so much energy. If you're spending it with co-workers or outside the home and then getting home and feeling too tired to spend anymore on your partner, that's emotional infidelity. You're effectively relocating vital relationship energy into the hands of others. Forget about where it might end up. Even if you never touch this other person, you have still used that person to relate to, and in doing so, you relate away from your partner.
You may be shaking your head and disagreeing. But I've spent years helping couples pool their energies toward each other, and it has changed their relationship immediately. Stop all of these outside relationships and bring all your emotional and sexual energy home to your partner, and you, too, will change your relationship immediately."
So, that's some food for thought! Seriously, think about the 8 questions in the article and put yourself in those questions. I will admit, in the past, I have been guilty of numbers: 3, 4, and 8. But, in my defense, those were at the time that Adam wouldn't communicate with me. So, in a sense, I tried to not 'cheat' but he drove me to seek someone to 'cheat' with.
Now, the relationship Greg and I have is completely different than the one I had with Adam and what makes this huge difference is our communication with each other. He tells me everything that has happened at work (either via email throughout the day or when we talk to each other after work), he even tells me that he's been talking to his ex's (like today, he's been talking to both of them and even shared an email from one of them during lunch). I don't get jealous because he still talks to both of them because I know that his commitment is to me and that he would never do anything to 'loose me'. And, Greg knows that I still communicate with Adam (also, I usually BCC'd Greg on any correspondence between Adam and me) as well as with a few past 'FWB's (friends with benefits). Greg doesn't feel any jealousy either. We trust each other because we are completely honest and open with each other. Shit, he knows that one of my old FWB has been asking about he and I getting together for lunch one week and that I've accepted his lunch offer and Greg isn't jealous one bit because he can trust me and knows it. Adam, on the other hand, didn't trust me and each time I would go out with a group of friends he would ask, before I left, 'Can I trust you?".
I posted the article on April 17, I believe. As I type, I am at Greg's office and we just had a major discussion about being honest with each other, trusting each other and how we measure someone as a real friend vs. and acquaintance. I believe, that if you're a real friend to someone you must be truthful and honest with them no matter if the result hurts them. At least they know the truth and are not being mislead into believe that things are ok between them and the other person.
Greg doesn't like confrontation. He'd rather avoid the truth, him telling it, and just deal with 'it', what ever it is, with himself. I tell him that he is then misleading the person in believing that there isn't anything wrong when in fact there is.
The whole discussion Greg and I had is about about his 'friendship' with someone from his past. It doesn't bother me that they still talk, but it bothers me that he isn't truthful with this person. He doesn't tell them when they piss him off or defend himself if they say something that makes him look like the bad guy. Greg says he doesn't care. Yet, my argument is that if what is said has some emotional reaction, such as anger, then he does care. Greg is so passive about this whole... whatever I call it. I feel that if this person treated you, in general, like shit, lies about you to others, makes you look like a bad guy, then why would you even want to be 'friends' with them? So what if you have history; the history wasn't even all that positive a majority of the time. Why even associate yourself with someone that made you feel miserable sometimes. Is the 'friendship' really worth it; especially if you can't or won't be honest with them? In my opinion, no.
Like I said, Greg doesn't like confrontation. So I asked him last night what would he call our disgusion and he said it was confrontation, in a sort. I trust Greg. I have no reason to not trust him. I know some of the actions he did with his past relationship and he knows what I did with my last relationship. Even though they say "Once a cheater, always a cheater" I don't believe that. At one point in time I did, but only while I was with Adam. I thought that while I was with him, I would always cheat on him. But, being with Greg, I have absolutley no desire to be with another man nor do I confide my emotions to someone else when there is a 'issue'. I tell EVERYTHING to Greg, the good, bad, and ugly. I don't hide anything from him. Even when I did something 'sneaky' this past March and when the truth came out, the first thing I did was confide to Greg about what I did and he wasn't even upset! I, on the other hand, felt horrible about my actions because I did something that I would never even consider, usually. But, even though this isn't an excuse, I blame the damn birth control I was on at that time. Since then, I've been much better. Even though I still get emotional mood swings just before or after my cycle. In due time, I am hoping that too will go away.
30 April 2007
Weekend Fun
I had another great weekend!
On Saturday, Greg and I got up early and dropped off my car to the place in Millersville. Then, we headed down to Waldorf to meet up with my Mom to drop Amelia off. On the way down, the repair shop calls and tells me that, I defiantly need new rotors and pads and that my rear cylinder is leaking and shoes need to be replaced and to do the entire repair it would cost $551. I called my Mom to tell her and to see if she wants me to do the whole repair and she said to talk to Van since it was his credit card but I wasn't able to get a hold of him so I only got the front breaks worked on (but, on Sunday when Greg and I were at Mom's, Van said to go ahead and get the cylinder and rear shoes replaced). Greg and I arrived in Waldorf at 11am and we decide to have lunch together and invited my cousin April, who is 6 months pregnant. April and I were the first two grandchildren born and now she and I have provided the first two great-grandchildren on both sides. So, it was nice seeing April and hanging out and such (she and I are the only 2 girls in the grandchildren bunch; the rest are boys). We ate at the Hong Kong Buffet which Greg declares as the best buffet he's ever been to. While there, we got a lot of attention due to Amelia. The hostess was hanging out at our table and when she asked to hold Amelia, we allowed and then she walked off to show Amelia off with the other staff members! We, Greg and I, didn't do anything or say anything, but we kept an eye on the hostess to see what she was going to do. Later, I asked Greg how he felt when the hostess walked off with Amelia and he said that he was concerned, a little. It was funny, he noticed April and I exchanging looks when the hostess walked off. Around 1:15, Greg and I head back to Pasadena to pick up my car (which was ready) and then off to the hotel. Mom, April, and Amelia head off to Wal-mart for some shopping. Greg and I arrive at the repair shop around 2:20 and they are already closed (which I knew they would be but told them to leave my key in the glove box) and we get my car, head back to the townhouse because we forgot a few things and then we head off to the hotel! I, of course, forgot my confirmation information and which hotel we were staying in. I thought the hotel started with a C, like the Courtyard by Marriott but I was way off. The hotel that we stayed at was Homewood Suites by Hilton! So, we check in and head up to our room. Staying in hotels is so much fun! When we arrived at our room we were amazed at how big it was and how it was like a mini apartment! It had a kitchen with a dishwasher and ice maker, a stove, couch, dining area, chair with an ottoman in the first room, the bedroom had a king size bed, mirrored closet and a ceiling fan (which was a huge surprise bonus for Greg; he loves ceiling fans) and then the bathroom which wasn't anything special. So, Greg and I are amazed with the room and more so with the ceiling fan. We unpack and marvel at the huge comfortable bed and pillows and do a few other things (not going into details, I'm sure you can figure it out) and around 5-ish, we decide to head down to the pool. The pool wasn't what I was expecting. It wasn't as big nor as deep. The depth only went to 5 feet! But, there was a Jacuzzi. We weren't alone either which also sucked. But, in any event, we hung out at the pool for about an hour or so, head back up to the room, take a shower to get the chlorine off, and do some other things (again, I am sure you can figure this out). Around, 9 we head out to get something to eat. We decided to stop off at a grocery store to make a simple dinner (salad and sandwiches), but the Safeway didn't have much of a selection by the time we got there so we only bought soda and snacks and headed off to Wendy's. We get back to the hotel room, eat, watch a little tv and then we head off to sleep by 11pm.
On Sunday, Greg and I are up early again. Around 8:30-ish we head downstairs to the breakfast area expecting the usual items of a Continental Breakfast (bagels, muffins, danish, etc) but I was surprised at the other items available; eggs, bacon, pancakes, waffles, yogurt, cereal, juices, and fruit. But, the quality of the food wasn't all that good but I didn't care because it was a buffet and free (though, technically, I'm sure the breakfast was included in the price of the room). Greg and I were back in our room around 9:30 and start to pack our things. I believe we left around 10-ish. Afterwards, we headed over to the airport to watch the airplanes. Have I mentioned how much Greg loves airplanes? If not, he's a huge aviation buff. So, we sit in the observation area at BWI watching the planes come in and take off for about an hour and a half. Then, just before Noon we head off to Nanjamoy to pick Amelia up. We arrived around 1:30 and left a little after 2. This was Greg's first visit to my parents house. He got to meet Lucy, the horse, and Max, Scooter, and Scout the crazy dogs which all adored Greg. We didn't get home until about 4:15pm. I fell asleep on the drive home. I was mentally exhausted. It is a long drive to Waldorf and back and then to Nanjamoy and back.
All in all, it was a very refreshing weekend.
On Saturday, Greg and I got up early and dropped off my car to the place in Millersville. Then, we headed down to Waldorf to meet up with my Mom to drop Amelia off. On the way down, the repair shop calls and tells me that, I defiantly need new rotors and pads and that my rear cylinder is leaking and shoes need to be replaced and to do the entire repair it would cost $551. I called my Mom to tell her and to see if she wants me to do the whole repair and she said to talk to Van since it was his credit card but I wasn't able to get a hold of him so I only got the front breaks worked on (but, on Sunday when Greg and I were at Mom's, Van said to go ahead and get the cylinder and rear shoes replaced). Greg and I arrived in Waldorf at 11am and we decide to have lunch together and invited my cousin April, who is 6 months pregnant. April and I were the first two grandchildren born and now she and I have provided the first two great-grandchildren on both sides. So, it was nice seeing April and hanging out and such (she and I are the only 2 girls in the grandchildren bunch; the rest are boys). We ate at the Hong Kong Buffet which Greg declares as the best buffet he's ever been to. While there, we got a lot of attention due to Amelia. The hostess was hanging out at our table and when she asked to hold Amelia, we allowed and then she walked off to show Amelia off with the other staff members! We, Greg and I, didn't do anything or say anything, but we kept an eye on the hostess to see what she was going to do. Later, I asked Greg how he felt when the hostess walked off with Amelia and he said that he was concerned, a little. It was funny, he noticed April and I exchanging looks when the hostess walked off. Around 1:15, Greg and I head back to Pasadena to pick up my car (which was ready) and then off to the hotel. Mom, April, and Amelia head off to Wal-mart for some shopping. Greg and I arrive at the repair shop around 2:20 and they are already closed (which I knew they would be but told them to leave my key in the glove box) and we get my car, head back to the townhouse because we forgot a few things and then we head off to the hotel! I, of course, forgot my confirmation information and which hotel we were staying in. I thought the hotel started with a C, like the Courtyard by Marriott but I was way off. The hotel that we stayed at was Homewood Suites by Hilton! So, we check in and head up to our room. Staying in hotels is so much fun! When we arrived at our room we were amazed at how big it was and how it was like a mini apartment! It had a kitchen with a dishwasher and ice maker, a stove, couch, dining area, chair with an ottoman in the first room, the bedroom had a king size bed, mirrored closet and a ceiling fan (which was a huge surprise bonus for Greg; he loves ceiling fans) and then the bathroom which wasn't anything special. So, Greg and I are amazed with the room and more so with the ceiling fan. We unpack and marvel at the huge comfortable bed and pillows and do a few other things (not going into details, I'm sure you can figure it out) and around 5-ish, we decide to head down to the pool. The pool wasn't what I was expecting. It wasn't as big nor as deep. The depth only went to 5 feet! But, there was a Jacuzzi. We weren't alone either which also sucked. But, in any event, we hung out at the pool for about an hour or so, head back up to the room, take a shower to get the chlorine off, and do some other things (again, I am sure you can figure this out). Around, 9 we head out to get something to eat. We decided to stop off at a grocery store to make a simple dinner (salad and sandwiches), but the Safeway didn't have much of a selection by the time we got there so we only bought soda and snacks and headed off to Wendy's. We get back to the hotel room, eat, watch a little tv and then we head off to sleep by 11pm.
On Sunday, Greg and I are up early again. Around 8:30-ish we head downstairs to the breakfast area expecting the usual items of a Continental Breakfast (bagels, muffins, danish, etc) but I was surprised at the other items available; eggs, bacon, pancakes, waffles, yogurt, cereal, juices, and fruit. But, the quality of the food wasn't all that good but I didn't care because it was a buffet and free (though, technically, I'm sure the breakfast was included in the price of the room). Greg and I were back in our room around 9:30 and start to pack our things. I believe we left around 10-ish. Afterwards, we headed over to the airport to watch the airplanes. Have I mentioned how much Greg loves airplanes? If not, he's a huge aviation buff. So, we sit in the observation area at BWI watching the planes come in and take off for about an hour and a half. Then, just before Noon we head off to Nanjamoy to pick Amelia up. We arrived around 1:30 and left a little after 2. This was Greg's first visit to my parents house. He got to meet Lucy, the horse, and Max, Scooter, and Scout the crazy dogs which all adored Greg. We didn't get home until about 4:15pm. I fell asleep on the drive home. I was mentally exhausted. It is a long drive to Waldorf and back and then to Nanjamoy and back.
All in all, it was a very refreshing weekend.
26 April 2007
Re: Re: Bad bad Bad
After I left work and picked Amelia up, I decided to stop by Greg's office because I felt it was something that needed to be done. I surprised him, of course, and we did a little talking, but not much. After about 45 minutes I left because it was getting close to Amelia's next feeding and asked Greg to stop by the store on his way to my place to get more Pedialyte and dinner.
Greg arrives a little after 8pm, at which I am feeding Amelia. He puts the groceries away and sits on the couch with me. We don't talk about the events of the day. A little before 9, Amelia falls asleep and he takes upstairs to put her to bed. In the mean time, Sean and I are picking at the chicken Greg bought. Once Amelia it asleep for good, Greg comes down to fix his dinner. We watch a little of the Os game (they lost, no surprise) and the Discovery Channel. Then, we head upstairs where I take a shower (and hint for Greg to come in, which he does but only for a few minutes) to initiate the 'make-up romance' for the evening and it doesn't happen. So, after my shower, I lay in bed with Greg and we watch tv together while he rubs my legs and I rub his feet. I believe around 10:30-ish, I began to fall asleep but, try to stay awake to see if Greg wants to talk anymore about what we went through and he pretty much says no and before long, he's already snoring. I was a little disappointed because I thought he would like to talk more, intently, about the 'issue' and he apparently he was content with was we discussed via email or online.
Greg arrives a little after 8pm, at which I am feeding Amelia. He puts the groceries away and sits on the couch with me. We don't talk about the events of the day. A little before 9, Amelia falls asleep and he takes upstairs to put her to bed. In the mean time, Sean and I are picking at the chicken Greg bought. Once Amelia it asleep for good, Greg comes down to fix his dinner. We watch a little of the Os game (they lost, no surprise) and the Discovery Channel. Then, we head upstairs where I take a shower (and hint for Greg to come in, which he does but only for a few minutes) to initiate the 'make-up romance' for the evening and it doesn't happen. So, after my shower, I lay in bed with Greg and we watch tv together while he rubs my legs and I rub his feet. I believe around 10:30-ish, I began to fall asleep but, try to stay awake to see if Greg wants to talk anymore about what we went through and he pretty much says no and before long, he's already snoring. I was a little disappointed because I thought he would like to talk more, intently, about the 'issue' and he apparently he was content with was we discussed via email or online.
25 April 2007
Re: Bad bad Bad
Well, Greg has finally completed one of the requests. It wasn't worded as I would have liked, but I'll accept it. After talking a little online as to why I am not in a good mood, I explained the issues that are hurting me and that being the requests. And, right now I feel the second request has lost it's meaning due to him taking so long to do the request. He says he's still going to send it, but what's the point; nearly 2 months have passed since the 'issue' and I see no real reason anymore. He missed the boat.
He's also stated that he still plans on coming over tonight despite my reasoning. He says he wants to help me feel better and I told him that I don't see a way as to how that will be possible but he says he has a way. Honestly, I can't think of anything, even completing the other request, that will make me 'happy' happy.
I didn't write much to Greg this afternoon. He sent me an email around 12:45 and I didn't reply until 4:50pm. I really wasn't in the mood to chat with him, muchless anyone else for that matter (which sucks because I work in a call center). Anyway, I asked how he was doing and he said not good because he is worried that he is loosing me and that he is confused about everything (such as me telling him there is no point in coming over whereas I usually try to keep him as long as possible) that is going on within me. I told him the reason of my hurt feelings and such and he has apologized and all, but he says my actions are hurting him as well.
I am in such a funk of a mood. I was feeling fine this morning until his phone call as he was en route to my place. For some reason that call triggered a snow ball to hell of emotions and feelings. Which I am confused about as well and that reason is because it's not like I've been keeping things, such as this issue about the request, bottled inside of me; he knows how I feel about his lack of responce to the request (and still hasn't done anything about it except for the one, but like I said about the other - there's really no point now), though I guess he didn't know how much meaning it had for me (but I was sure he knew at the time of the request).
In any event, Greg will be coming over tonight to talk about all of this. I'm not really looking forward to this because I know I'll be crying (as I've already done so today) and I hate how I cry over just about everything. I also hate to put the blame on my hormones and birth control, but I was never like this before.
He's also stated that he still plans on coming over tonight despite my reasoning. He says he wants to help me feel better and I told him that I don't see a way as to how that will be possible but he says he has a way. Honestly, I can't think of anything, even completing the other request, that will make me 'happy' happy.
I didn't write much to Greg this afternoon. He sent me an email around 12:45 and I didn't reply until 4:50pm. I really wasn't in the mood to chat with him, muchless anyone else for that matter (which sucks because I work in a call center). Anyway, I asked how he was doing and he said not good because he is worried that he is loosing me and that he is confused about everything (such as me telling him there is no point in coming over whereas I usually try to keep him as long as possible) that is going on within me. I told him the reason of my hurt feelings and such and he has apologized and all, but he says my actions are hurting him as well.
I am in such a funk of a mood. I was feeling fine this morning until his phone call as he was en route to my place. For some reason that call triggered a snow ball to hell of emotions and feelings. Which I am confused about as well and that reason is because it's not like I've been keeping things, such as this issue about the request, bottled inside of me; he knows how I feel about his lack of responce to the request (and still hasn't done anything about it except for the one, but like I said about the other - there's really no point now), though I guess he didn't know how much meaning it had for me (but I was sure he knew at the time of the request).
In any event, Greg will be coming over tonight to talk about all of this. I'm not really looking forward to this because I know I'll be crying (as I've already done so today) and I hate how I cry over just about everything. I also hate to put the blame on my hormones and birth control, but I was never like this before.
24 April 2007
E-mail from Greg
This is the email I had waiting for me when I returned from a meeting:
"Jess my love,
You have no idea how special you make me feel with all the gifts and all the love you give. The reason I say no to more is because I feel as you have done so much for me, I don't feel I deserve all of this wonderful treatment. I'm like you, I love to shower others with things, and I feel bad recieving so many wonderful things. I guess we were just brought up well to be giving loving people. :) Jess you make me feel so absolutley wonderful with all the things you do. I look forward to all the amazing things we will do in life and can't wait to see whats coming around the next turn. You make my life so worth every day Jess Jess. Thank you so much for all the birthday gifts and wishes. I love ever bit, and I love you sooo very much!
Love,
Greg
XOXOXOXOXOXO"
This is the actual email, errors and all. LOL
I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again; Greg is the most amazing person that I've ever been with. I have fallen so deeply for him and it's an amazing feeling!
*loving sign of happiness*
"Jess my love,
You have no idea how special you make me feel with all the gifts and all the love you give. The reason I say no to more is because I feel as you have done so much for me, I don't feel I deserve all of this wonderful treatment. I'm like you, I love to shower others with things, and I feel bad recieving so many wonderful things. I guess we were just brought up well to be giving loving people. :) Jess you make me feel so absolutley wonderful with all the things you do. I look forward to all the amazing things we will do in life and can't wait to see whats coming around the next turn. You make my life so worth every day Jess Jess. Thank you so much for all the birthday gifts and wishes. I love ever bit, and I love you sooo very much!
Love,
Greg
XOXOXOXOXOXO"
This is the actual email, errors and all. LOL
I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again; Greg is the most amazing person that I've ever been with. I have fallen so deeply for him and it's an amazing feeling!
*loving sign of happiness*
23 April 2007
Adjusting
Ugh, I am still adjusting, mentally, from this weekend. Not that it was stressful (and I still need to finish writing about the weekend) but a lot went on, especially on Sunday with Amelia, and, in addition to seeing things completely different than before with the new glasses.
One thing that has changed since having new glasses, aside from perfect vision, is my perception of Amelia. Before, she still looked small to me and I kept telling Greg that we have a midget baby (and he would just laugh at me), but with the new glasses I see her completely different! She looks bigger, rounder, and more 'baby' like. I am assuming that my old prescription affected my depth perception or something like that, I don't know, but now she looks like a fat baby to me!
During one of the quiet moments of yesterday, Greg and I stood in the kitchen talking about feelings and such. And, as usual, I had all the questions. For some reason, I don't think I'm completely adjusted to Greg and I being 'together' together. Don't get me wrong, my feelings for Greg are real and true; I am not 'guessing if' I am in love with him, I know I am in love with him. But, with all that Greg and I have talked about recently, I wanted to know if his feelings for me were/are different than the feelings he's had with his ex's. I don't know why I wanted to know this information, but his answers made me feel good, as well as made me believe that what Greg and I have is unique from what we've experianced with our ex's. We're both feeling things we didn't feel with them for each other and, I'm gushing with excitment over this! I feel amazing with Greg. I don't want to be without him. Greg is my everything. And, even though I've mentioned this before, the communication between Greg and I is what's making our relationship so strong and I can not stress enough how important it is to talk, openly, with your significant other.
One thing that has changed since having new glasses, aside from perfect vision, is my perception of Amelia. Before, she still looked small to me and I kept telling Greg that we have a midget baby (and he would just laugh at me), but with the new glasses I see her completely different! She looks bigger, rounder, and more 'baby' like. I am assuming that my old prescription affected my depth perception or something like that, I don't know, but now she looks like a fat baby to me!
During one of the quiet moments of yesterday, Greg and I stood in the kitchen talking about feelings and such. And, as usual, I had all the questions. For some reason, I don't think I'm completely adjusted to Greg and I being 'together' together. Don't get me wrong, my feelings for Greg are real and true; I am not 'guessing if' I am in love with him, I know I am in love with him. But, with all that Greg and I have talked about recently, I wanted to know if his feelings for me were/are different than the feelings he's had with his ex's. I don't know why I wanted to know this information, but his answers made me feel good, as well as made me believe that what Greg and I have is unique from what we've experianced with our ex's. We're both feeling things we didn't feel with them for each other and, I'm gushing with excitment over this! I feel amazing with Greg. I don't want to be without him. Greg is my everything. And, even though I've mentioned this before, the communication between Greg and I is what's making our relationship so strong and I can not stress enough how important it is to talk, openly, with your significant other.
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