...In a Nut Shell...

No particular topic for today; just a little of this and a little of that.

Last night, Greg and I finally got to meet with our potential new babysitter. We hung out for about an hour and decided to 'hire' her. Greg loves what the new sitter offers (an actual learning environment) and feels the extra forty dollars a week is well worth it. So, we start with Mrs. L on Sept. 4, after Labor Day. Mom is going to watch Amelia for next week for us.

I really want to do something special for my for all the help she's given Greg and I; especially with all the time she's watched Amelia and all that she did this past weekend with the move. But, she doesn't want anything, *On the phone with her as I type* and loves spending time with her. Yet, at the same time I feel guilty for relying so much on Mom when it comes to watching Amelia. *sigh* I will think of something...

So, this afternoon I confirmed something that I always suspected. Unfortunately, I can't share it on here. I did share it with Greg, as it's been something of a topic on a few occasions. He doubted me; saying she wouldn't do that but with what I recently found, I confirmed with him what I always suspected.

Greg and I were bad last night. We didn't get home until almost 8:30 and we had forgotten to take something out of the freezer when we left in the morning, so we ordered a pizza from the place in Brooklyn. Oh, their pizza is so good! We really shouldn't have ordered food when we are so broke, but we were bad. We also learned that this pizza place will deliver cigarettes! I found that so funny that I called Aaron and asked him the value of a place that will deliver cigarettes and his reply was: "priceless" and then I told him about the pizza place.

Greg and I watched a little of The Lord of the Rings last night while we ate and had a pretty interesting conversation as well (before the pizza arrived). Greg mentioned what he likes best about our relationship compared to his past was how much I am willing to share the responsibilities, including finances, and if there is a problem that I am more than willing to talk to him about it versus hold it in. I love it when Greg and I are able to sit together and just shoot the shit. We talked about work and certain co-workers of his; my day; the insurance company (which still hasn't returned my call); our renters insurance policy (which he recently signed up for through USAA and our monthly payment is only $9.91 for over $36K of valued furniture - Hurrah) and other things; such as what we need to buy next for the place (thinking about a new vacuum cleaner) or in general (new car seat for Amelia and having to buy two of them). Over all, it was a great night!

Tonight I am going to work some overtime for the project. The extra hours will be applied to the time off from last week so that I don't have to used my personal or vacation days. Works for me. So, Greg is going to stop by my job to get the car seat and pick Amelia up. I am hoping that I can work Wednesday and Thursday as well, but we'll see.

I finally got around to emailing The Condo Guy about a few little things about the condo. Mainly, I wanted to express the inefficacy of the dryer and have hopes that he'll have it replaced. I swear that thing is older than me and it sounds like it's on it's last leg and might kick the bucket soon. So, we'll see.

Well, I am done. It's 2:22 and I've spent a majority of the day on MySpace reading my old blog entries and then when I was on Y! I was cleaning out my saved emails and was reading a lot of emails from 2004-2005. Oy that brought back a lot of memories, especially of RD (since there were some emails from him). I haven't thought about him in a while and when I was re-reading the old emails a flood of emotions came back that I felt for him at that time. Would I ever see him again? No. I am more than happy with Greg.

Ok, now I am done. Signing off at 3:27pm

It has begun...

... tomorrow is THE DAY...

Last night, there was an email from The Condo Guy, confirming the meeting tomorrow and suggesting a time for us to meet (eight o'clock pm). I haven't replied, yet. I am in the progress of that task (among many others)...

Last night, Greg and I were so drained of energy. We were both confused as to why we felt to exhausted. But there were a couple highlights for the night:

Amelia and Greg got into a dispute... over... the spoon. Yes, Amelia has begun to take the spoon away and try to feed herself and WILL NOT allow you to take the spoon back unless you pry her sticky, wet, fingers away from the spoon, to which she will began to scream at the top of her lungs in protest. Wow. Last night, feeding Amelia, was interesting to say the least

I learned that Greg has begun thinking about proposing to me; he's already thought about his wording, the location, the time, and the ring. !!!!!!! This excites me to no end. And, what causes this utmost extreme excitement is that I have absolutely no idea what the ring is going to look like or when and where which means it's all a complete surprise; every bit of it (I have no idea what style ring (cut of the diamond, etc), if the ring is going to be gold, white gold, or platinum, etc). This tickles me pink with joy

It has been so busy at work. I am already getting frustrated and that isn't good. Oy, they need to hire more people and soon (for example, my referral). But, at least it's a short week for me AND I will be working a half day tomorrow, rather than a whole day and taking Friday off (which I am still going to do).

Have I mentioned how excited I am about what's about to happen? I am starting a whole new life (sorta). I am as excited as humanly possible yet scared shit less. What scares me is the finances (remember, Money is the root of evil and can ruin any and all relationships), Greg believes that we will be fine financially, but I am not feeling the belief. I guess, in a sense, I am still thinking about the relationship I had with Adam and when we first moved in together and all that ensued afterwards. But, to be fair, Greg has never been fired and has been at the same company for six years and then some; whereas Adam was constantly loosing his job which made the finances difficult, and I guess I am afraid of a repeat even though Greg is very secure in his job. GGGRRRR.

It's funny how Greg and I are worried about completely different things regaurding this move. I feel his worry is nothing (even though I can't mention it here) to really worry about because he hasn't had any issues with the place he's at now; and he feels my worry about the finances is petty since we both have jobs that pay very well. To each their own.

*** FF to 2:47pm ***

Ugh, I can't get over how busy I've been this week! Thank goodness it's a short week for me. I am feeling so frustrated, stressed, and over all not in a good mood; which i've expressed to Greg (to give him a heads up for tonight).

And, again, I've forgotten about the topics of discussion. God, I would suck in a book club group and had to host a meeting. My mind can not stay focused on anything now a days. I swear I have Adult ADD.

Wish me luck that I survive the rest of the day!

A Moment to Myself!

Can you believe that I am all alone (well, Amelia is asleep at the moment) for the first time in a lllooonnnggg time? Yeah, it's so freaking nice. Greg had to run into work for about an hour and his Mom and brother Ken are out and about; so it's just me and Flickr. I love Flickr; though we're having a 'fight' at the moment (won't let me do a mass upload so I have to upload every single picture manually).

This weekend was fast and Great!

I honestly don't remember what happened on Friday after work...

Saturday was a busy day! Greg and I headed down to Waldorf at 1pm and the drive was probably one of the most scariest drives I've ever driven only because there were so many accidents that happened on 95 and 495, one of which I witnessed as it happened right behind me and freaked me out. This accident occurred on 495 and I am going to assume the funeral procession that was going on the opposite side of 495 distracted someone because the next thing I saw was a cloud of dust and then this blue car spinning all over the place in the middle of 495; it was like a scene out of a movie. I had such an adrenaline rush watching it and I nearly stopped to get out of the car to help (First Responder classes kicking in) but I didn't want to risk getting hit myself since I was sure it would have been a multi car accident.

We finally made it to Waldorf around 2:30 and met Mom at The Buffet where Amelia was waiting for us. Greg and I were in such a shock when we saw Amelia because Mom had her all dressed in jeans and a cute top and 2 little pig tails in her hair!! Amelia looked so much older than 7 months; it totally freaked Greg and I. We were like, 'where's our little girl?'.

After lunch, we headed over to April's and hung out for about an hour and on the way home, my girlfriend Michele called because she was in town (she lives in Hagerstown) and wanted to get together. We ended up meeting her at the Wal-Mart at Arundel Mills Mall since Greg and I had to get some diapers and we wanted to look at some condo things. It was nice to see Michele, I haven't seen her since March.

It was about 8pm when Greg and I made it home and Amelia didn't go to bed until 9!

Today, Sunday, Greg and I hung out at the apartment for a while; delaying the inevitable: Greg going to work on a Sunday. We finally left a little after 2pm, drove by his job and there were too many people there, so we went to Giant to get some more juice and cookies (damn cycle made me eat the rest of the Chips Ahoy!) and then to Staples where we bought a receipt book for the babysitter (in order to get my money back, I need the babysitters signature as proof of payment) and then to Target. I was surprised Greg and I only spent $50 at Target; I was expecting our total to me much higher since we picked up a huge box of Pampers, wipes, bottles, nipples, and other small items for Amelia. But, I'm not complaining.

Well, to conclude this entry, please enjoy this clip of Amelia eating her Peas and Toes for dinner last night:

Date Night (sorta)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Greg S. [mailto:********@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2007 12:33 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: *Knock Knock*

Meet here, go to movies and make out.


Jessica D <*********@!!!!!!.com> wrote:
You should go out and get your lunch now before it hits…

So, what’s the plan tonight?

For our 'Date Night', Greg and I are going to see The Simpson's Movie (with our free passes) after work. And, apparently, we're going to make out. Works for me!

Finally, this afternoon, the a/c was repaired at work. It's nice and cool and the nice little storm we have is also helping. Rather relaxing really; since I can sit and watch it rain from my desk (Love my Desk Location).

Well, "IT" has made it's ugly presence this morning; about time too! But, I've noticed that my cycles are starting the Thursday after I stop taking the active pills... what's nice *knock on wood* is that the cramps are almost nonexistent, oddly. Actually, I had no warning signs (other than my strong 'urges' for 'playing' with Greg) that "IT" was coming. Another thing that I have noticed is that my mood swings happen a week before I stop taking the active pills... I wonder if this is just me. I've been tempted to not take the birth control to see if I would have a cycle on my own (since I have PCOS, my cycles have been very unpredictable; hence the reason I didn't use birth control (and was told that it would be nearly impossible for me to get pregnant naturally))... not sure if I want to risk that chance... give up sex for two months just to see if I will start a cycle on my own???... Nah....

Next is coming along nicely. I've spent a majority of the morning reading. The only 'complaint' I have about the book, thus far, is that it's predictable; or at least seems predictable, but I don't know if my predictions are true, well most of them... some I've predicted and after a few more chapters proved correct. I guess it helps that I spent nearly six years in the clinical research industry and I know a lot of what the book is about... who knows. I should be done with it soon..

This weekend, Greg and I are going back down to my Mom's to get Amelia. I am so missing her right now. She's growing so fast, physically and mentally. She's begun to get on her hands and knees and will soon start crawling, probably, but for now she just kinds scoots backwards.

I am getting pretty excited about the move next week. I can't wait for Greg and I to finally have a place to call home and to start our life together; and for Amelia to have a place to have all her 'firsts', such as her first steps, Christmas, Thanksgiving, words, etc. This time next year, Amelia will be 19 months old!! It's so weird to think about that, especially when I think what I was doing/thinking this time last year (like working at CCTA; when Greg and I went to the National Zoo; all the trips that Greg and I were planning; and the thought of Greg and I moving to Washington State together...

It's such a weird thing to think about all that was going on last year and not know that I was pregnant. I would guess that I was about 4, going on 5, months pregnant this time last year. And, who would have thought that a year later, Greg and I would be moving in together, set up joint bank accounts (at my bank of choice; gotta love Wachovia), helping each other pay our bills (I help him with the Dell bill and he helps with my car payment), and have a nearly 7 month old daughter!! I sure wouldn't have thought that... if I were asked last year what I would expect to be doing exactly a year later, all that I mentioned above would not be what I was expecting; if anything, I would have guessed: School and a new job. Way off, huh...

Would I change anything? Absolutely not; not even all the hardship I've experienced in the last 7 months. I am feeling very positive about my future with Greg, Amelia, and life in general. It's a very good feeling.

Well, I am going to get back to the book; just thought I would stop by and give ya something to read!

J

whatdayoftheweekisit?

I work up this morning having no clue as to what day of the week it was. It was such a weird feeling...

Last night, I stopped by Greg's office, unannounced, and hung out for a few minutes while he finished making our 'Need/Want' List for the move next week. While he was working on that, I was chatting with Brooke and talking about the Ocean City Golfing Extravaganza in Sept., which sounds likes it's going to be a lot of fun!! Once Brooke left, Greg and I chatted about going out to dinner, even if it's a McDonalds and we eat inside rather than drive-thru; I just wanted to go out. We ended up going to Pizza Hut on Rt. 40. Our server was horrible and he totally messed up our order; but I didn't care because I was happy to be out and with Greg.

While waiting for our pizza, Greg and I chatted a little about a few things that were on my mind and then we focused on the 'Need/Want' List. Turns out that we don't need as many things as we thought we did. A majority of the items we need are for the two bathrooms (shower curtains, towels, rugs, accessories, etc) and things for Amelia's room (which it looks like a lot of people (ok, 4) feel that themes are a thing of the past for children's rooms), such as a lamp, bedding and such for her crib and a few other little things.

Another topic of discussion was brought on by someone that I had spoken to on the way to the Pizza Hut; an old 'FWB' that I met nearly three years ago. 'W' is engaged and has his wedding planned for this coming Oct (I am going to assume I wasn't invited, LOL); his bride-to-be doesn't know that 'W' still has a paid membership to an adult hook-up website and is still looking for fun (shoot, he's asked me many time this year to get together for 'lunch', to which I've declined and have told him that I am in love with Greg and am not interested in that friendship anymore); I asked 'W' why he's still looking and such and he had no real honest answer and mentioned something about his bride-to-be has expressed some, very little, interest in possibly having a third person join their 'party'. So, I asked him if his bride-to-be knows of the website and he said no and that he doesn't plan on telling about it anytime soon because she would freak if he told her. Umm, wouldn't that be a big flag to not do what you're doing? So, once I ended the conversation with 'W', I talked to Greg about it and asked how he would feel if he found out that I had a paid membership to said website and was actively looking without his knowledge. His reply is something that I would feel if I learned of the same. See, this is where communication is key in a relationship; Greg knows of every past 'FWB' that I speak with (on the rare occasion that a conversation with one of them (there are four that I talk to every now and then) occurs) and I tell him about the conversations of them on my own free will, he doesn't ask and I don't hide anything from him. Greg is an important person in my life, why would I not tell him what's going on in my life? Maybe I am more open than others, who knows, but that's just the way I am.

Oh, the Greg's review didn't happen last night; work was too busy, but it did happen this morning!! Greg's review was great and the raise was more than either of us were hoping for! Plus, the raise is effect immediately and will be reflected with the paycheck coming on Friday! Hooray!!! From our calculations, this check is going to be sweet and it may be more than enough to actually hire people to move our items next week, which is something we've been chatting about all morning via email. I am a little hesitant because I want to know for a fact that Greg and I are going to have more than enough money for next week and then for rent in September, which is two weeks after we move in! Greg understands my concerns but if pretty positive that we will be fine. It's awesome that Greg and I are paid on opposite weeks because every Friday, there will be a paycheck deposited into the joint account (as soon as our employers process the requests).

This move is getting very exciting and nerve wracking for me. I told Greg that I am afraid of a repeat of the 'life' I had with Adam once we moved in together; even though my heart is telling me that the life Greg and I will have together will be nothing like that of the past; but I can't help but worry. Also, I just realized that today would be my four year wedding anniversary if Adam and I were still together. I wonder if he remembers... meh, not important to wonder about those type of thoughts...

Oy! So much going on in my head!!! I'm missing Amelia a lot this week; I want to call Cousin April and see how's she doing, yet afraid because I remember how I felt after having Amelia; I need to talk to the Babysitter about having her sign a piece of paper stating that she is/has accepted money from me to watch Amelia so that I can be reimbursed; I'm hoping that my brother is doing well, financially, at his new place; wonder how my car is doing since it's been nearly 2 weeks since I handed it over to the repair shop... and many many more...

Just Another Tuesday

Nothing going on today.

I was busy this morning with HR (which is handled in another state) and filling out their forms on a change of address and direct deposit. It wasn't as easy as you think. Like I've mentioned before, the HR staff isn't the most reliable bunch.

One item mentioned to me about the direct deposit change (even though I am still going to have a portion of my paycheck deposited into my current account) is that it may take up to three pay periods before it's complete; which translates to about six weeks. I don't see how that is possible; it's a simple process of where HR submits verification to the bank that the bank account exists and has the correct name on it, right? Why would this take six weeks to complete? Meh; I just have a feeling that this simple request will not happen in the appropriate time frame quoted to me and that more than likely, the request will be forgotten and that I am going to have to get medieval on their arses. Good grief, it took nearly two months for them to complete my exemptions change (the last paycheck had the correct amount of exemptions taken out for both Fed and State, finally).

****There was something else I wanted to mention, but I can't remember anymore****

Poor Greg has been so busy at work. He didn't get home until 8:30 last night. The only bright side is that he's getting a lot of overtime, but isn't spending much time home (and he misses me). Hopefully, he'll have his annual review today and we'll find out how much his raise is. Last year, he was promoted to Assistant Manager and we're eager to see what the review states. It would be awesome if Greg receives his 'usual' raise amount and then I am promoted at work and receive a raise (I did apply for the position I mentioned earlier; not sure if I mentioned that or not). Oh, did I mention that my job is offering a huge referral bonus (more than a couple thousand dollars; yes, you read that correctly) and my friend that I used to work with at PRP might be considered as a candidate and if she's hired and remains with MX for 6 months, I will be thousands of dollars richer? I will learn in a few weeks if she's going to be hired or not; the manager is out of the country until sometime next week and when he returns is when he's going to conduct interviews.

It's hard to believe that I've been here for almost a year. Sometime last week, I was chatting with a co-worker that was in my training and reminded him of the time we've been here and we both agree that this past year has flown by. It's funny to us because when we started together, neither one of us ever thought we'd be parents within the coming year, when talking in retrospect.

Greg and I are doing quiet well, relationship wise. No major fights or arguments, yet; who knows what's going to happen once we're completely on our own together. But, considering that we've been together for four whole weeks and still no major disputes or arguments, I count that as a good thing! I remember when Adam and I first moved in, within the first 2-3 weeks we had a huge fight and told him that I wanted to break up and everything. I never forgave him for what he did (he didn't hit me or anything), and I never told my family about it (though he told his family what he did). I told Greg about it and he said he would never, ever, do what Adam did, no matter how mad. But, that is all in the past... I am looking forward to the life that Greg and I are going to have together. I believe he's going to 'allow' us to marry on 10-10-09 since he hasn't said anything against that date, except a few times we've talked about getting married sooner (because we are eager to buy a house within the next two years). I've been thinking that it could be possible that Greg and I marry each other this time next year... after all, Greg and I have known each other and have been the best of friends to each other for nearly two years (08/20/05 is 'the date'); if we weren't meant to be, we wouldn't be where we are today...

Speaking of Adam, I called the Circuit Court today because I haven't received anything in the mail about the divorce filing. Well, according to the person I spoke with, they assigned a case number (good, it means everything is in progress) and that they mailed the 'Summons Packet' to me the week of July 18th. Well, I haven't received anything; as a matter of fact, I haven't received any mail since I did my change of address on July 23rd! This worries me, since I am no longer able to check the mail at the townhouse (all keys were returned on July 31). I've tried calling the local post office, but the number is always busy. Figures. It would be nice to be able to get this all done and over with.

Let's see, I started this entry at 1:00 and it's not 3:40. My life is so exciting.

I've noticed that I have new 'regulars' out there; there are 2 in Virginia, someone who uses AOL (didn't even know people still use AOL now a days) and there is this weird one... I love Bravenet because it shows me the link where someone came from, if the visit wasn't a 'direct hit', and lately there's been these visitors with the same IP address, but the referring link is different, though when I click on it, it takes me to the same place. Odd indeed.

Meh. To each their own.

Alright, I am done. I've got other things to vent about somewhere else...

So Much Going On!

Wow, this weekend went by way too fast!

Friday night, Pat (Greg's middle brother) left for the military. Greg and Ken (Greg's youngest brother) stayed up until 2am with Pat helping him pack and just hanging out together (I slept). Pat is going to be gone for a little over a year. Greg wrote this really nice letter to Pat to read and keep around. Greg let me read it and he asked for my opinion and such. It was really sweet and it came from Greg's heart.

On Saturday, Greg and I head down to Nanjemoy to visit Amelia (because we are really missing her) and my Cousin April who just had her baby girl, Olivia. On the way down, just before we reached 495, Van calls to tell me that Mom's car broke down (with Amelia in it) on one of the back roads and she has no cell reception (Now, you may be wondering how we found out about the car; well a stranger stopped and helped Momma and Momma was able to use the strangers cell phone to call for police and to call Van). Greg and I were still about an hour away when we received the phone call; so I called Sean, who was on his way down as well, to see if he was any closer but he wasn't. We were pretty much neck and neck with each other, even though he was taking 301 down and I was taking 495 to 5. It was a little before 2pm by the time we make it to the area that Mom broke down, but Sean and I couldn't find her! We don't know the back roads as well as Mom and Van and I was getting worried about the safety of Mom and Amelia. Finally, Mom calls me from her home to tell me that the police guy took her home and that the car was towed there as well. Now, here's what happened to Mom's car: THE ENTIRE WHEEL/TIRE FELL COMPLETELY OFF THE CAR WHILE IN MOTION! She didn't have a flat tire; the whole tire, rim, everything came off. Yeah, I know. How the hell does a tire fall off a car? We're still baffled ourselves. But, Mom and Amelia are safe and unharmed and that's all that matters. By the time I make it to Mom's house, it's nearly 2:30. Greg and I walk in to find Amelia fast asleep, to our disappointment. I wanted to hold her, hug her, and play with her! I let her sleep a little more (like 5 minutes) and decided to wake her. She wasn't too happy about that, in the beginning, but within a few minutes she was all smiles and laughing! Oh, I missed her so much!! As did Greg. She looked taller too. I swear she's going to be all legs when she gets older. Sean arrived a few minutes after Greg and I and we hung out while waiting for the visiting hours to resume at the hospital (they don't allow visitors from 2-4). I believe it was about 5pm when we all arrived at the hospital and met Olivia. Poor Greg, he had to wait in the waiting room with Amelia because the hospital wouldn't allow anyone under 13 to visit patients unless it was direct kin or something. We stayed about an hour and headed off to the store to get more formula for Mom and then headed home where we had a great meal cooked on the grill.

Amelia is eating a lot better now a days! She's learned how to eat off a spoon and really enjoys the new variety! She nearly ate all the sweet potatoes I fed her on Saturday night! So far, she doesn't like Peas and Apples.

Sunday was a pretty lazy day. I woke up before 8am and took care of Amelia while Greg slept in a little longer (yep, Greg and I spent the night at my Moms and slept on a very uncomfortable sofa bed). Not too long after, Mom came out into the living room and we just chatted and what not. Greg woke up around 9:30 and we all chatted and played with Amelia until she fell asleep (which she was so resisting to do) on me. Greg took a lot of pictures of all the Hummingbirds, Finches, and critters around Mom's over the weekend; which he's placed on his Flickr account. Greg is really starting to take some amazing pictures. I'll post a few of my favorite later...

Greg and I left Mom's a little after 4pm and as soon as we reached Waldorf, we were in a severe thunder storm! The rain was insane, it was blowing in all directions and the thunder was amazing; at times, the thunder was so loud, the car vibrated so much it felt like something was coming out of the ground! It was cool and scary at the same time. By the time we reached 5, it was all over. The drive home was uneventful (aside from the storm). We reach Super Fresh around 6, pick up a few items for the week (lunch and dinner) and we're home by 7. Nothing exciting happened after that. Greg and I went to bed pretty early since neither of us slept well at Moms and that was it.

Today, Greg and I are going to meet up during the lunch hour and open up our joint account. Greg has had it with his current bank; all they do is tick him off now a days. He's so happy to be getting rid of them.

The Condo Guy sent me an email over the weekend with a copy of the lease we signed and the check has cleared, so things are looking good for our move next week!! I'm starting to get excited, again, but I am still a little hesitant of the excitement (for fear of what happened last time). Last night, Greg and I started to talk about things that we need (not want) for the condo. Tonight, we're going to make a list. This morning, I was thinking about Amelia's room and thought that I might need a changing table for her; since I've always changed her on the bed but now that she'll have her own room... And, Greg and I are thinking fo things we'll need for the bathrooms and kitchen and so much more! I wish I didn't have to pay this stupid deductable because we would have so much extra money to buy everything that we need without a second thought. Another thought that I've been having is our housewarming party and who to invite! There are so many people that I want to invite, but Greg wants to keep it low-key. We'll see what happens...

This week feels good; or maybe today does. I don't know, but in any case I've got that 'good things are going to happen' feeling in my stomach. Who knows, maybe my car is ready and I can get it back (I really dislike the Cobalt; the speakers suck). Who knows, but I am enjoying this feeling for the moment.

Strange Day

This day feels strange, but in a positive way. But, before I get to that, here are the events of last night:

This morning, Greg and I sleep in as late as possible (nearly 8am), again. We've got to stop going to bed so late! I swear I don't know what happens with the time from 8pm to 12am! Last night, I watched The King of Queens finale. It was a good episode. I missed it earlier this year. Greg and I were so confused because he haven't been keeping track of the episodes, so we had no clue that they broke up and stuff. And, in the end I thought they were going to go their separate ways (when they were talking on the airplane), but they didn't. Awww... In someways, the relationship that Greg and I have is very similar to that of the show (minus the father in-law living in their home; although I am living with Greg's Mom at the present), even Greg saw some similarities.

I went to the store last night after work. Greg and I are tired of having either spaghetti or chicken and salad for dinner (as we've had since moving in on 7/20). So, during the day Greg and I mulled over what to create with what we already have (which wasn't much of anything) and remembered that we have canned chicken, and decided to make chicken dip, kinda like crab dip but with chicken, and to also try to make it similar to that of Bill Bateman's. Surprisingly, it turned out pretty good! All I had to buy was the cream cheese and baguettes. But, while at the store, I bought more items (grapes, lunch items, and dinner for tonight). I spent $21. Greg and I are trying to spend as little money as possible until we have enough for the condo.

After The King of Queens, I took my shower and hung out in the bedroom until Top Chef came on. The episodes just aren't as exciting as last season. There's no Marcel-isk character; albeit, Joey and 'Bulldog' are close competitors.

Now, back to why this day is strange (to me)...

There is a position open within the company (formal email was sent out last night to the team). The position is 'Team Leader' and the duties aren't much more than the work that I am currently doing. I thought it over for a few minutes and decided that I wasn't going to apply for a few reasons; 1. Even though I've been here for a while, I still feel that I am 'new' since I was hired on in May; 2. Don't know if my attention span is reliable enough to do the job to my work ethic standards; and 3. Now that I have a baby, I don't know how reliable I will be (mainly if I have to miss work due to not having anyone to watch Amelia). I feel those are pretty reasonable reasons, right? Well, this morning as I was sitting at my desk reading my usual news and whatnot, I was approached by a co-worker, who isn't a CSR, enquiring if I was going to apply for the position. I had told that I hadn't planned on it and she began to urge me to submit my resume in a very suggestive manor. So, I am wondering if 'they' are hoping that I apply because 'they' feel that I am capable of the job. I wonder if there is a pay increase. In the mean time, I've been working on my resume and waiting for the perfect moment to talk to my supervisor and ask a few questions...

Also, this afternoon I learned that I have won a $50 Visa gift card!!! I forgot about a contest that we were running at work, and I came in second place! Yay me.

Wondering what's so strange about all of this? Well, it's strange because positive things are occurring and... and... I'm not used to this.

All-In-One

My cousin sent the following email:

"Well, I just wanted to shoot everyone an email since today is my due date and I'm still carrying my little one around in my belly!! If she doesn't come by then, Friday August 3 at 6:00am I go to civista to be induced. I'm hoping she'll come on her own, but excited to finally have a day!! As of friday I'm dilated 2cm maybe more by now, hopefully. My last day of work will probably be tomorrow or half a day wednesday 8/1 you can email me at home at ******33@yahoo.com since I won't be able to check this email from home. :) Feel free to come by the house or hospital, I hope you do, my cell number (for those who don't have it) is 301-***-**** and the home number is 301-***-****. Well hope to talk talk/see all of you soon!

Love you!!"

Yay! I'm so excited!! I hope she has her baby by this weekend, because Greg and I are going down to Mom's to visit Amelia (since my Mom is going to watch her for an extra week so Greg and I can save more money for the move) and to give Mom a break from watching her.

Greg has taken 2 days off of work, the 16th and 17th of August, for the move. I've only taken the 16th off since I missed two days last week. Oy! Can't believe we finally found a place and that Greg and I will have our own place in two weeks. It's exciting and scary at the same time. Who would have thought that nearly 2 years, to the date (Aug 20, 2005 is when we first met), after Greg and I met that we would have a baby and be living together, much less talking about marriage. It's almost a fairy tale story; sorta. LOL

I read an interesting article on Y! about men's fighting style for relationships. I sent Greg the article and told him which two styles I think he falls under. It's definitly something worth talking about with your significant other.

Well, I've actually been working today; believe it or not! I started this post nearly 3 hours ago and I'm just about to end it. I've become slightly bored with the internet these last few weeks. There just isn't anything to hook myself into anymore. I've thought about bringing a book to work or maybe start knitting again. Just something else than waiting for something exciting to happen on the interwebnet.

General Discussion

This post is going to be about everything in General.

Last night, Greg and I had a little scare with Amelia. After we fed her, we put her to bed and she pretty much rolled over onto her stomach to go to sleep. Something she's been doing for months now. Well, last night, apparently she threw up her bottle and nearly 'drowned' in it. I don't know how to explain it, but from what I am guessing, she threw up a large puddle and, for some reason, couldn't or wouldn't move her face out of the puddle and began to 'breathe' the liquid in the puddle. Eventually, she let out this huge scream and Greg went into the bedroom and found Amelia screaming and spit up all over her face and up her nose. It took a while to calm her down and for her to fall back asleep (to which I laid her on my chest/stomach and eventually she stopped crying and fell asleep on me. I am going to assume it was hearing my heart beating and steady breathing that relaxed her). On another note, Amelia tried carrots last night and loved them! She actually swallowed more carrot than she 'gerbered' out. Greg and I were amazed!

Greg's neck/shoulder is still bothering him. Last night was probably the worst. Since he stopped by the townhouse on the way home last night, I told him to get the heating pad from the closet and bring it home. I bet he's thankful that he listened to me, because last night, when we were all home and relaxing in bed, I was able to 'pop' his entire back and shoulder. Then I showed him a few stretches I learned while working at the physical therapy clinic, to which he was able to 'pop' a few more places. In the end, his shoulder was much better, but his neck was still tight. This morning, I offered to try and 'pop' his back some more, before work, but he felt so guilty if he accepted. Greg feels that his pain is imposing on my happiness! I told him that if that were true then I wouldn't offer to help him. He's so silly.

Mom returns from her Vegas Extravaganza tonight. She hasn't told me if she's won any money or not, but I haven't really asked. I really hope she has, though. Mom had a great time at the Grand Canyon and other places that she's visited. I can't wait to see the pictures from her trip. I will more than likely upload them for her and such, to which I will also post on my Flickr account.

Greg is ready to move out. He's already stressing over the crowdedness of the place; though I don't really have any issues with being there.

I sent an email to the condo guy to 1. follow-up on our application, and 2. to pass along a message from the current townhouse owner to him. The message was only to ask him to call again; apparently the number left in her voicemail was a incorrect number. I am still crossing my fingers about this place.

This morning I had my appointment with WIC. These appointments are rather interesting, though I've only been to two so far. Today, we learned about grains. Yeah, all about grains. And, the person who was instructing the class was way too energetic for the 8:30am appointment. She was hella loud and wanted 'class participation', to which she got very little. But, I did get a nifty bowl, a cookbook, and some 'money' to spend at the farmers market. So, tomorrow my brother and I are going to attend the farmers market in Glen Burnie. After the farmers market, I am going to head to work, with Amelia, to stop by and then head down to see Mom, that is if she's still planning on watching Amelia for a few days. Greg and I are hoping she does because we would love to go to the movies. Greg is itching to see The Simpsons Movie and Harry Potter (maybe on the Harry Potter). I would like to see Hairspray because I loved the Rikki Lake version, although it's a little disappointing that the movie wasn't filmed in Baltimore, MD like the original version. But, at the same time, Greg and I shouldn't be spending money that we need to be saving.

Lately, I've been having some very strange dreams. These dreams involve someone that I've never met, in person, but I know of. For the last two nights in a row I had a dream that involved Greg's ex-fiancee. Basically, the dream involved us being at a party/house event and we both knew that we were there, yet we kept ignoring each other; even though we had a mutual friend (that wasn't Greg). It was just strange.

Well, I've been given another 'project' and I guess I should start working on it.

Until then...

The worst is over...

... I think.

We did it, mostly. Greg and I have pretty much moved everything out of the townhouse and into storage or his room.

Yeah, I can't believe it either.

Also, I received a phone call from my brother and girlfriend, Michele, that the condo guy called them both to ask about Greg and I!!! So, at least we know he's checking on the references we provided. Now, we just wait for their answer.

Now, back to the move:

Friday night was slow and fast at the same time. Mom came up because she left for her Vegas Extravaganza this morning. I took her to the hotel last night where she met up with her friend Madeline and someone else. I hung out for a few minuets because Tracey was there as well. Tracey and I pretty much grew up together since Mom and Madeline worked together. Then, when Mom left the job, we kinda lost touch through out the years, but would get together every now and then. Tracey is going to school to become a pharmacist! Girl is smart as a whip.

Ugh, I can tell this entry is going to be all over the place. I am so mentally exhausted. Hope you can figure out the pieces.

Anyway, before I went home, I stopped at Sean's new place, where Mom was. As soon as Amelia saw Mom, she screamed bloody murder and continued for the whole night each time Mom tried to hold Amelia. Amelia just wasn't having it. Hope Mom didn't take it personally so that she will still watch Amelia next week.

Afterwards, I drove Mom to the old townhouse where we hung out and such. Later, around 9pm, I take Mom to the hotel where she's meeting Madeline and others.

I arrive back to the old townhouse around 10:30 and Greg and I pack up the essentials and head to his place, where I slept. But, before we went to bed, I went through Greg's things; mainly his old photos. I saw pictures of his first girlfriend, E and his last girlfriend, L. Greg has changed a lot over the years. Now a days, he looks older and mature. It was weird and interesting to go through that bag, all of which he's throwing away (and why he let me look through them).

Today, Saturday, was exhausting. We don't wake up until 10am and head out to the townhouse a little after 11. We spent the whole afternoon loading the U-Haul and then unloading the U-Haul. It took us about 5.5 hours to complete most of our work. There are a few things we need to get for 'my new place', a.k.a Greg's Room and general cleaning, but other than that we're done. And, I must say it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to bed.

As I type, it's close to 9pm. I have my second load of laundry running in the washer, first load is in the dryer; Amelia has finally fallen asleep, boy was she resilient about falling asleep; eating a light snack of popcorn; and looking forward to my shower tonight. I was so ready to fall asleep around 7:30, while we were watching Finding Nemo.

Oh, when Sean called me this afternoon (one of many conversations), he told me that a person called about a condo that Greg and I had applied for. Sean didn't mention to the guy that we're related (which Sean kept saying he didn't know why he didn't mention it) and I asked Sean what type of questions the guy asked (since I did list Sean on the application as a reference and informed the condo guy that Sean was a co-tenant) and Sean said that he asked if we were responsible and if Sean had anything to say that would suggest the condo guy to not let us move in. Sean replied with "nothing comes to my mind at the moment; oh wait, their not too keen on yard work and tend to kill plants" and the condo guy replied (along these lines) "Oh, well that doesn't matter since the unit is a condo". So, I guess that is good. Then, later in the day, my friend Michele called and pretty much told me the same thing that Sean did (how did we meet, how long have we known each other, etc). At least we know the condo guy is working on our application... now we just wait for an answer...

155

What does 155 mean? Well, this would be my 155th post here. I have 117 on MySpace.

Today has been unique. I haven't been at my desk much of the day, and here is why:

I get in at 9am. Yummy! Work provided breakfast for all; we have muffins, danishes, bagels, and an assortment of fresh fruit.

At 10:22am, we have our quarterly 'Town Hall' meeting. Very interesting meeting; learned about the company's raises (like when they're suppose to happen), products the company is going to try to gain new customers, etc.

Return to my desk at 12:15pm and immediately go on my lunch break (after my potty break). And, lunch was provided by Work, and catered by Macaroni Grill. I have the chicken and pasta with a Caesar salad. Yummy in my tummy.

So, that's what I've been up to this morning, in a nutshell.

Last night, Greg and I went to the storage place and unloaded some items that we've been carrying around in our cars. Afterwards, we went to Denny's for dinner. I just didn't feel like cooking last night.

Last night was pretty uneventful. We didn't do much of anything. Sean and Aaron have started packing the living room and we began discussing who is taking what and such.

Greg and I talked a bit more last night about things and eventually he told me that he doesn't want to talk about 'it' anymore (I was asking way too many questions about something; nothing about Greg and I and our future). So, I kinda dropped it. I, honestly, just wasn't feeling very chipper last night; if anything I was feeling kinda depressed. I had no real reason that I could my finger on for my depressed feeling though, so that kinda annoyed me. And, if I had to take a stab at what might be the reason, though my conscious mind isn't proving this, it would be that I am homeless come this weekend. I've never not had a place that I was a part of, well since Mom and Van met. This whole Greg and I finding a place to live has really dampened my spirits, I guess (again, can't confirm this 'theory' since my conscious mind isn't really telling me this, or so I don't think) *Mental Note: Never eat chocolate muffines; too messy and sticky*

Blaaahhh. I have a wicked headache, still. And can not find my Aleive.. bbbooo...

On the bright side, Greg sent me an email informing me to "So mark your calendar. Aug **th. MBC and friends gain 50lbs at the Orioles game. heheheheh. They were most excited about the all you can eat deal." Earlier this week or sometime last week, Greg told me that the Orioles are hosting "All-You-Can-Eat Left Field Club for the remainder of the season. The tickets are $35 per person and you can eat all you want on hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, soda, and so much more! Click on the link for more details.

I think I am done for now. I really can't remember what else I wanted to write about and this headache is really starting to get to me (moving down to my ears and neck now). I want a nap!

Wednesday Babble

Happy Birthday, Momma!

Today is my Mom's 48th Birthday. Yeah, she's young (was 19 when she had me). My Grandma is only 67 years old; yeah, no kidding. I called my Mom this morning to wish her a happy birthday and we chatted for a bit. Talked about her Vegas Extravaganza and the birthday presents I gave her last month (Ice Tea Maker, I Love Lucy purse, and digital meat thermometer - all of which she loves) and her plans for the day (nothing special. She was just excited she found a farrier for the horse, Lucy).

Happy Birthday, Pat!

Today is Greg's brother, Pat, birthday as well. I believe he's turning 26. Pat is at some training camp in the west, I believe. Pat did call Greg last night and they chatted a bit and Greg was able to wish him a happy birthday (though, he would have forgotten if I hadn't of gone through Greg's calendar at work and marked everyone birthdays for him; what would he do without me?), but the main reason Pat called Greg was to tell him that he left milk in the refrigerator at his old apartment and to see if he could remove it before he had to turn in the keys. Eww!

Ok, now that the birthday wishes are done, let's continue with our normally scheduled program, shall we?

Last night after work, I headed over to Target to pick up the pictures I ordered on 7/12/07. I was surprised at how well they, mostly, turned out. Some were a little pixel-lated whereas others you couldn't tell if was from a 'normal' camera or digital. So, with my mind on Scrap booking, I decided to look at scrap booking stuff. Oy! So much to choose from! But, I did well and didn't buy anything... until... I walked towards the end of the isle, where they usually place their clearance items and saw what I've been wanting to buy since Amelia was born: A Memory Book; you know, the ones where you save pictures of their first hair cut, first Christmas and Halloween, First day of school, etc. The book was on clearance for..... $4.98!!! Yeah, that's all! So, I HAD to buy it (especially since the cheapest I've seen was about $20 at Babies-R-Us or the Hallmark store). It was a no brainer for me. Then, I walked down some more isles to see if I could find anything interesting for dinner, I didn't, but decided to buy a big jar of nuts. So, I walked out of Target only spending $11.55. I feel special.

Now, while at Target, Amelia was so giddy! She was actually laughing while in the isles! She would laugh every time I went "Boo" to her or would push the cart a little fast and then slow it down. It was so hilarious! I was tempted to call Greg and my Mom so they could hear how much she was laughing, but I couldn't keep a decent cell signal in the store. Then, I thought about recording her laugh to make it my ring tone, but I didn't want the sound of me going "Boo" to be in it. So, I wait a little longer for her to laugh at any and everything. I think it will be very soon.

I arrive home around 7:30 and take Amelia upstairs into my room and just lay on the bed with her and play. Sean comes in and lays on the bed too and plays with Amelia as well. Amelia licked Sean's nose.

Around 8pm, I put Amelia to bed (it's so cute to watch her rub her eyes...) and head down stairs to make dinner (pork chops, again). Greg arrives at 8:20, he was late (at which I told him he would be and he tried to deny that he would be late). We eat dinner and watch "America's Got Talent". Somewhere between 8:30 and 9:00, Greg goes upstairs, I didn't head up until 9:30. Greg was playing DD when I got to my room and I lied next to him and watched him play and began to give him directions on where to go and who was waiting for their food, etc. He lost. Afterwards, we laid in bed, in the dark, and talked. We did some deep talking. We talked for nearly an hour about a lot of relationship things (mainly his past relationships and the 'warning flags' that he ignored; about his best friend Jeff; and a little about our relationship and our future together). Now, mind you when I went upstairs at 9:30, it was to get a little action, if you know what I mean. So, when we started talking about relationships from the past and many of the other topics (which I won't mention here), by the time I began to change the subject, he wasn't really feeling 'it'. But, me wanting what I wanted I ended up getting it. LOL. It's a little joke that Greg and I have, between us. So, finally around 11:30, we head for sleepyland.

Today, this morning, I was late for work. Amelia and Greg were taking their sweet time getting ready! Then, I had to make lunch for Greg and me, which took nearly 20 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm just writing this because it something to write about.

I arrive at work about 5 minutes late. I had my Target bag with the pictures and Memory book, as well as my new tags (which I didn't put on last night; what can I say - i was lazy), though I don't know why I brought the tags... oh wait, now I do... because I wanted to bring the registration card before it gets lost in the townhouse... duh. So, as soon as I am at my desk, I share the pictures with my supervisor, who shares them with another co-worker, finally around 10am, she brings them back to my desk and then I begin my Memory Book Extravaganza! It has been interesting and enjoyable. There are so many things I have to wait for, though. But, the book in itself is neat because I can create my own pages and add them to the book, which I think I will do in the near future. So far, the only thing I've created is the Father's Day Page, along with filling out the story of when I found out I was pregnant, her birth information, and things along that nature.

I just received the following email from my roommate, Aaron:



-----Original Message-----
From: AARON GREENFIELD [mailto:agreenfield@*********.us]
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2007 1:45 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: yo

Hey cool kid. How's your day goin so far. Im ready to go home. do you wanna set off those fire works tonight?

My reply:

Sure!

Damn, you must be really bored to be sending me an email!

Anyway, I am feeling pretty energetic at the moment, though I don't' really know why. Maybe it has something to do with the skittles I ate with my lunch, but who knows.

Oh, as for yesterdays post about being focused. Yeah, I failed. I didn't even complete half of the accounts. Meh. Guess I could do it now...

I think I will start some work today...

Until then, Ciao!

A New Week with New Hope

Oy! What a weekend. I hope to never have a repeat of this past weekend, ever. It just wasn't good, at all.

Oh, and I forgot our application to the condo this morning. D'Oh! But, I sent an email to the owners letting them know that I did forget it and that I will fax it tomorrow. Also, I told them how much Greg and I enjoyed the condo. Hoping to get some 'brownie points' here.

Greg said one, of many, sweet things over the weekend. I can't remember if he said this on Saturday or Sunday since the days kinda blur together, but this is what he said:

Greg: "I can't wait until Amelia is like 7 years old...
Me: Why?
Greg: Because, I think it would be cool to have a map of the mid-Atlantic and every Wednesday night, we look at the map and tell her to pick a place that she would like to visit for a weekend trip."

Wow! He's already planning things in the future! Also, we discussed when to try having another baby! Greg wants to wait until Amelia is between the ages of 3 and 5 years old. I agree.

And, we also talked about our future together, again. Last night, I was watching "My First Place" or something similar, on HGTV while Greg was playing DD (Diner Dash). Apparently, Greg was listening to the show because later I asked him which he would prefer to do; marry then buy a house or buy a house and then marry. He stated he would like to get married first. This is starting to get kinda exciting for me. Of course, I'm not going to obsess about it, shit I'm not even engaged, technically. But, it really makes me feel good that Greg has referred to his Mom as my Future Mother-in-law (a comment from this weekend).

This is an interesting story, yet sad. I can't imagine anyone ignoring their children for online gaming. How is that possible, on an emotional level? The daughter only weighed 10 pounds when she, and her brother, were taken into the hospital. Amelia weighs 15 pounds is only 6 months old! That couple should be in jail a lot longer than 12 years.

Also, I am totally enjoying this new blog, BlueSoup, she's so funny! Go check it out.

Oh yeah, update on Amelia and her 6 month check-up:

Height: 25 inches
Weight: 15 pounds
Shots: 4 (5 inoculations in 4 shots)
Overall: Clean bill of health. Oh, and to switch from rice cereal to oatmeal in hopes to ease the constipation she has suffered. Also, we can start her on flavored Gerber foods!! After the appointment, Greg and I went to Giant and picked out Applesause to start off with. It was interesting; she made some weird faces and gaged a little, but she did 'eat' some of it. The doctore suggested that we stick with on flavor for 3-4 days to make sure there isn't a reaction before moving onto the next flavor. Guess what the next flavor is.... nope... it's not green.... not a sweet vegetable... it's carrots! Blah, I totally dislike cooked carrots (and pretty much all other veggies; meaning I like them raw and uncooked), so this could be interesting. The plan is to alternate between fruit and veggies.

So, to recap:
Birth Weight: 6.14 pounds
Birth Height: 18.4 inches

Total weight gained: 9 pounds
Total growth: 7 inches

Can you imagine if we grew 7 inches in 6 months? Yeesh! Also, I think it's funny, and I mentioned this to Greg, how we focus on weight gain in infants and when the infants are about 20 years old, they focus on weight loss. Isn't that the story of life?

Thoughtful Friday

Yeah, nothing to really title this entry. I do try to keep the titles a little interesting, but some days the creative portion of my brain just isn't creative. I am going to assume for today, the creative portion is on a coffee break as I write.

Yesterday I went through my Flickr photos and selected a few, more like 27, for print. I am going to attempt this scrap booking thing. I selected photos from the first five months of Amelia's life and some of the outings we went (Cunningham Falls, O's game of Father's Day, etc) to as we all the Holidays we've had, thus far. My plan is to create a page of each 'event'. I don't when I am actually going to start this project with the move and all this weekend (for me) and next weekend (for Sean and Aaron), plus trying to save money for when ever Greg and I actually find a place to live on our own. But, on the bright side, the pictures I selected for print will only cost me $3.15 and I can go get them at the Target in Ellicott City (which I thought about picking up last night, but Greg wasn't interested in meeting me there and mentioned something about traffic being a nightmare).

Last night, I felt so... melancholy; just not with it emotionally. I spent two hours doing something I should have, even though it didn't really have an effect on me emotionally, but I was curious and such. During that two hour span, I spoke with my Mom for about 45 minutes. We chatted about the move, her trip next week to Las Vegas, the email we received from her Mom, my Grandma, about their vacation in Alaska and Canada (cruise, tours, the whole nine yards), as well as other 'girly' things. Around 10pm, we hung up; Sean and Aaron come home and I head up stairs for my shower and bed. Around 11pm, I try to call Greg but he was having cell phone difficulties and I was becoming frustrated. I felt a strong need to talk to Greg last night and his cell phone carrier was preventing us from talking. Finally, after nearly 15 minutes of attempts, I just left him a voicemail. After about 3-5 minutes of silence, Greg calls and we were able to hold a 12 minute conversation that wasn't interrupted by gargle and other non-comprehensive noises. I told Greg what I did last night and why I did it. He asked a few questions about why I did it and all; he wasn't upset or anything, but I felt like talking to him about it. Then, I asked what he did for the night and he told me that he played a little on the computer (games), consolidated one of his tubs, threw away a lot of old pictures from his last relationship, and talked to his Mom about me moving in this weekend. I asked why he threw away his old pictures and he pretty much did it for the same reasons I didn't keep my wedding pictures; one chapter closed and moving on. As for the conversation with his Mom about me moving in, she was hoping to have one more week to get ready, but if I have to move in this weekend, then I have to.

Also, last night Greg and I talked about our future wedding; just a little. I asked him if he wanted something more than a 'court house ceremony' and he said yes, which did surprise me. Then I asked what time of year would he like to marry. We didn't pick a season, but I suggested Fall for all the pretty colors. I think a winter wedding, though beautiful if there is snow, would be too risky for any type of weather related reasons for cancellation (as many birthday parties of mine were cancelled due to snow). Spring is an option as well. Summer, is too typical and can be hot. If I had to choose, I would plan a Fall wedding (10/10/09 would be possible because I'm weird and want the month and date to match, just like my birthday, 02/02); I think the temperature, outside lighting and scenery would be just right. So, it looks like Greg and I might have an actually wedding when we marry, which means I would have to plan a wedding! When Adam and I decided to wed, I did the invitations and my Mom and Grandma did the rest. There wasn't anything to really plan. I already knew I didn't want a traditional wedding, I felt it was a waste of money. So, my wedding was in Annapolis's court house and the following day, we had a BBQ at the Churchton house. Nothing special in my eyes. But, now that Greg and I are starting to talk about getting married and what not, I do want to make it special, though not extravagant. I would still rather spend the money on the honeymoon than the wedding. As of now, the honeymoon is still a 2 week European cruise. Greg has even shared this with some of his co-workers!

Sometimes, the relationship Greg and I have seems unreal. At times, I can't believe that Greg and I are actually in a relationship with each other. Don't get me wrong, I love this feeling of being in love with someone, the butterflies that he gives me when ever I see him or when he gives me a call at work. Greg, I swear, is probably one of the most amazing and caring people I've ever met. Sometimes, I wonder, when I compare the relationship I had with Adam to what I have with Greg, what was I thinking while I was with Adam? I know it's not fair to compare the two, but my feelings are night and day difference between them (comparing my feelings while with Adam vs. my feelings while with Greg). With Adam, I was in no hurry to actually marry him. We were engaged for about two years before I finally decided that we needed to either progress or move on without each other. Adam has absolutely no interested in the wedding details whatsoever. I would ask him for his opinion and he said he wasn't interested and that I could so whatever I wanted. Yet, when I would decide on something, later he would complain about some minute detail that he didn't like. Why did I marry Adam? I settled. Thus, my one life lesson to never repeat and the one thing I would change from my past if I could.

Greg, on the other hand, is someone that I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with. I can't wait until we buy our first house together and go on family vacations with Amelia (and maybe our future son or daughter) and just grow up together. Greg truly is someone I want to spend the rest of my life. And, this is something I've known, though denied myself, for a little over a year now and Greg has felt the same about me.

There was one point in time last year that I thought about 'dating' but I couldn't bring myself to actually start seeing other guys because I didn't want to 'phase' Greg out of my life. This was all before I knew I was pregnant. I was even talking to another guy and thought about meeting up with him one night in October. I told Greg about it (we were chatting via text messages) and he told me that he was feeling a bit jealous and was afraid to loose me (I did save those text messages). I've asked Greg on many occasions why he didn't tell me his feelings for me earlier and he replies that he was too afraid. Such a silly boy.

I'm not exactly sure why I've divulged myself into these thoughts. In anyevent, I am going to blame it on my cycle. But, if you think about it... at least I am not acting like a weeping girly girl, just feeling a little emotional in retrospect.

Well, I leave in a half hour to get Amelia and head over to Dr. PaPa. I am so curious to see how much Amelia weighs. I, on the other hand, am not excited about her getting shots and the mood she is in afterwards. I have a feeling Amelia will be going to bed early tonight.

Tomorrow, starts a new journey: being with Greg everyday.

Pillow Talk

Last night, or I should say this morning, Greg and I lied in bed and talked until 2am (nearly). We talked about so many things.

One topic was about the path of life we've lived. Mainly about his learning experience and mine with our past relationships and how we didn't listen to what our mind or 'gut instinct' was telling us. We both have one event that we would re-do if it were possible, but then we think about that if we hadn't done what we did then we probably would have never met. Which is possible, but I don't think it's entirely true. If we were meant to be together, as we both feel we are, then we would have found our ways to each other.

Another topic was about our life together as husband and wife. Greg feels in his heart that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. Greg wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows this as a fact for him. I then asked Greg what the delay is for proposing to me (aside from the obvious; moving, stress about moving, and money because of the impending moving) and he said that he isn't ready. I asked for a more detailed answer because if he said he knew in his heart that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then what isn't he ready for, and his response was that he isn't ready because he wants to make this proposal special and he hasn't thought of how, yet. He stated his last proposal kinda ruined it for any future proposal because he was able to make it perfect for her and in his eyes as well. I reminded him that I am not a high maintenance girl and that I am not expecting anything elaborate as his last proposal (but I am expecting Greg to do something better than Adam). I joked that I don't want him to propose to me by creating a sign with cups over 100 (apparently it has become pretty popular to wish someone happy birthday or to congratulate someone by placing cups to spell out words into the chain link fence on the overpasses in Maryland). His reply was: "That's perfect!" I smacked him, though I knew he was joking. But, basically, Greg wants this proposal to be meaningful, amazing, and best ever since it's going to be his last (as he has been engaged twice).

Hearing all of the above (both topics) made me feel really good about a lot of things. Hearing someone tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you gives one an amazing emotional rush. It's like someone choose you to start a whole new chapter in their life, someone wants you to be with them and experiance things together and be one. Then, hearing Greg tell me why he hasn't proposed to me (well, with a ring at least) also shows how, in a sense (and maybe no one but me will understand this feeling) he wants to make all my fantasies, day dreams, wishes, etc. come true; even the ones I haven't thought of yet. I don't have a fantisy about how Greg is going to propose to me. I don't have a dream wedding in my mind. The only things that I am wishing for at the moment is to find a place to live. The only things I am day dreaming about at the moment is how Greg and I are going to decorate our new place and a little about which engagement ring he's going to surprise me with (even though we haven't looked at any and I told him that I want him to choose the ring all by himself, since I want to be completely surprised), and a vacation.

Speaking of vacation, remember when I mentioned that Greg has three surprises that he's working on? Well, I got him to 'spill the beans' on one of the surprises and it's a trip to North Carolina. Though, we don't know if this will be happening since we haven't found a place to live. As for the other two surprises, well... one he forgot all about and can't remember what he was planning, and the other is the bigger surprise and he won't budge on any information.

I have a feeling that the rest of 2007 is going to be amazing and full of so many new things and experiences.

Here We Go Again...

Greg stopped by his complex and dropped off all the paperwork.

I've got that nervous/excited butterfly feeling in my stomach. I don't know why, exactly, but it's there. I am nervous about being rejected, again, yet he's already on a lease at this complex, so there shouldn't be any reason, other than me, for them to reject our application. Ugh! So, now we wait.

In the mean time, I've been chatting with my Cousin April via email today. I was asking how her doctors appointment went on Monday (since her mucus plus has started to 'fall out') and April said the appointment was fine and that she's only thinning out but not dilating. My cousin is so ready to have this baby! LOL I told her that I could relate! Then, April and I started to talk about our boyfriends and marriage. She asked if Greg and I have talked about getting married and I replied and then she wrote this about Greg:

"I'm glad your going to stay with Greg (Me: Like there was going to be any chance I would leave Greg) I really like him he's a nice guy!! Everyone likes him! Even Clayton's family was talking about how nice of a guy he was! :) And how cute Amelia was!! She really is freaking adorable!! "

I sent that email to Greg. It makes me feel good to hear that everyone likes Greg. Not very many people in my family liked Adam; he never looked like he was having fun or smiled that much. I tried to be optimistic and kept telling everyone that he is happy, just shy. Yeah, I was pretty much telling that to myself rather than believing it. I did that for a while; telling myself things to cover what my heart was trying to tell me. And, finally, I stopped lying to myself and took necessary action to see what everyone else was seeing to make myself happy. And, that is why this Friday I am submitting the divorce papers.

I am starting to miss Amelia. It's so weird to hear her in the background whenever I talk to my Mom (which is usually about 3-4 times a day). Mom told me yesterday that she caught Amelia licking her toes! LOL I warned Mom that Amelia has begun the licking phase.

I am trying to distract my mind from the apartment complex. I really hope we hear from them soon.

As I type, I am on hold with the other complex that I was supposed to move into tomorrow about my deposit and to make sure the office person did, in fact, submit my refund and to have it marked at urgent. From my impression when I asked, I don't think she did. But, I will find out soon... I hope... depending on when she returns to the phone...

Two and a half minutes on hold...

Finally, after a little over four minutes of waiting, I am informed that they CAN NOT (or will not) expedite my refund. Fuckers.

Re: Date Night

Greg and I had a great time last night!

Once he finished up, we left and headed over to Famous Dave's. There was no wait for a table and all the food came out rather quickly. The service could have been a little better, but I tipped accordingly.

It was funny, as Greg and I were waiting for our food, we were chatting away and such, then once the food arrived, we hardly spoke. We were so hungry!

After dinner, we drove back to his office (since we only took one car) and we ended up getting his hair cut and I got my eye brows waxed, finally! I also did a little shopping at GameStop. I bought 2 new games for my Nintendo DS; Monkey Ball and Diner Dash. I have loved Diner Dash since it came out. I even bought the software for my old laptop. I've thought about buying the version for my cellphone but I just don't think it's practical.

So, when Greg and I said our good bye's, I headed straight home, said hi to Aaron, went upstairs, took a shower and then played Dinar Dash for about an hour. Finally, around 11:30, I stopped because I would have stayed up all night playing. I called Greg to say good night and went to bed.

It felt so good to sleep! I was relaxed and comfortable; except for when Oliver would flop his hairy tail right next to me and take up half the bed. You'd be surprised at how much bed space a small cat can take.

Date Night!

So, here I sit at Greg's office.

I helped Greg with some of his work; me folding tab thingys. Such fun.

As I was helping Greg, I asked where he would like to go for dinner. It is a rare day that we have no baby to take care of and have the extra money to spend on us! So, Greg and I have going on a date tonight!

We have decided to go to Famous Dave's in Columbia! Yummy! I can't wait until Greg is finished with his transmittles so we can leave.

Right now, Greg and I are debating if he should get his hair-cut tonight or wait. The reason we are debating is because we are both very hungry.

The Sweet Greg-ola!

Do you know what I love most about us?

You.


" Jess,
I wish I could write so much of what I feel. I know things are tough right now, but we'll make it through. You mean the world to me. I love you with all my heart.

Greg
XOXOXOXOXOXO "



Last night, I was still in a funk of a mood. I didn't talk much to my brother or Aaron and just putted around the townhouse. Around 7:30, Greg calls and we chat for a few. I wasn't really in the mood to talk. He stated that he was a little sadden that I hadn't called, like I normally do, and that he shouldn't be much longer at work. After the conversation, I start my laundry and fix something for dinner (chicken nuggets and frozen pizza; Yum!). Around 8:30, I head upstairs for my room and call Greg to see what his E.T.A is. He informs me that he's just getting off of Rt 100 and that he's going to stop at the store for toilet paper, ice, and soda, all of which we were out. So, I just lay in bed and watch TV. About 20 minutes later I hear Greg walk in the door and start to put the items away. After a few minutes he asks me to come down stairs. So, I get up and walk down stairs. Greg is in the kitchen and on the counter is a Strawberry Carvel Cake waiting for me and inside the box (which was open) was a card, which I've written the contents of said card at the beginning of this post. I really fought hard to hold back the tears that started to pool in my eyes. Once I calmed down, I turned to Greg and gave him a big hug, thanked him and told him that I love him. Afterwards, I cut the cake and ate a slice! Yummy!

Greg and I watched Hell's Kitchen. We expected Vinnie to go; boy can't cook Beef Wellington if his life depended on it! Which made Greg and I wonder why he was always at that station! But, the show wasn't as eventful as past episodes. Now, we just look forward to Top Chef tomorrow night.

After work, I am going to stop by Greg's office to make copies my information for the application to his current complex. Yesterday, Greg talked to the office and they informed him that they will need a signed letter from him Mom confirming that he will no be on the lease for that apartment, a signed letter from him confirming that he is removing himself from that apartment, my statement of my salary from my employer, my three most recent pay stubs, drivers license and security card. Thankfully, all of which I have.

I keep distracting myself by reading other peoples blogs. I have a regular one that I read about a women and her adventure with IVF, and then I read the blogs of her readers. It's a vicious circle.

I am trying to not think about what was planned for this coming Thursday and that this time next week, I should be living with Greg. I am really trying to not think those types of thoughts. Easier said than done; which is also why I've been distracting myself by reading the events in other peoples lives. It does help.