Date Night (sorta)

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From: Greg S. [mailto:********@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2007 12:33 PM
To: Jessica D
Subject: RE: *Knock Knock*

Meet here, go to movies and make out.


Jessica D <*********@!!!!!!.com> wrote:
You should go out and get your lunch now before it hits…

So, what’s the plan tonight?

For our 'Date Night', Greg and I are going to see The Simpson's Movie (with our free passes) after work. And, apparently, we're going to make out. Works for me!

Finally, this afternoon, the a/c was repaired at work. It's nice and cool and the nice little storm we have is also helping. Rather relaxing really; since I can sit and watch it rain from my desk (Love my Desk Location).

Well, "IT" has made it's ugly presence this morning; about time too! But, I've noticed that my cycles are starting the Thursday after I stop taking the active pills... what's nice *knock on wood* is that the cramps are almost nonexistent, oddly. Actually, I had no warning signs (other than my strong 'urges' for 'playing' with Greg) that "IT" was coming. Another thing that I have noticed is that my mood swings happen a week before I stop taking the active pills... I wonder if this is just me. I've been tempted to not take the birth control to see if I would have a cycle on my own (since I have PCOS, my cycles have been very unpredictable; hence the reason I didn't use birth control (and was told that it would be nearly impossible for me to get pregnant naturally))... not sure if I want to risk that chance... give up sex for two months just to see if I will start a cycle on my own???... Nah....

Next is coming along nicely. I've spent a majority of the morning reading. The only 'complaint' I have about the book, thus far, is that it's predictable; or at least seems predictable, but I don't know if my predictions are true, well most of them... some I've predicted and after a few more chapters proved correct. I guess it helps that I spent nearly six years in the clinical research industry and I know a lot of what the book is about... who knows. I should be done with it soon..

This weekend, Greg and I are going back down to my Mom's to get Amelia. I am so missing her right now. She's growing so fast, physically and mentally. She's begun to get on her hands and knees and will soon start crawling, probably, but for now she just kinds scoots backwards.

I am getting pretty excited about the move next week. I can't wait for Greg and I to finally have a place to call home and to start our life together; and for Amelia to have a place to have all her 'firsts', such as her first steps, Christmas, Thanksgiving, words, etc. This time next year, Amelia will be 19 months old!! It's so weird to think about that, especially when I think what I was doing/thinking this time last year (like working at CCTA; when Greg and I went to the National Zoo; all the trips that Greg and I were planning; and the thought of Greg and I moving to Washington State together...

It's such a weird thing to think about all that was going on last year and not know that I was pregnant. I would guess that I was about 4, going on 5, months pregnant this time last year. And, who would have thought that a year later, Greg and I would be moving in together, set up joint bank accounts (at my bank of choice; gotta love Wachovia), helping each other pay our bills (I help him with the Dell bill and he helps with my car payment), and have a nearly 7 month old daughter!! I sure wouldn't have thought that... if I were asked last year what I would expect to be doing exactly a year later, all that I mentioned above would not be what I was expecting; if anything, I would have guessed: School and a new job. Way off, huh...

Would I change anything? Absolutely not; not even all the hardship I've experienced in the last 7 months. I am feeling very positive about my future with Greg, Amelia, and life in general. It's a very good feeling.

Well, I am going to get back to the book; just thought I would stop by and give ya something to read!

J

:u) and other stuff

I am feeling good right now.

I received the phone call, the coveted phone call, for MX this afternoon and for the call being perfect, they gave me a $25 visa gift card (Good, now I have gas for my car next week)!! The gift card was a surprise.

And, even though I am dirt poor at this moment I am still moving forward with my plans to pay for a hotel room tomorrow for Greg and me. After the emotional roller coaster I've been through this week, I need some alone time with Greg and no one else (meaning no roommates or baby). Not that Greg and I have any intimacy issues or such, it's just that we haven't been alone 'alone' since I moved into the townhouse and this hotel time is severely over due.

Greg has told me that he's in love with me. He told me on Wednesday during a conversation about the 'issue' that was bothering me. I didn't acknowledge it at the time, but last night I called him and thanked him for telling me, among other things... (we had a little 'issue' last night on the phone as well). This week, I've felt differently and not in a positive way. I haven't thought negative things like before, I just didn't feel happy. I've noticed that since being on birth control, my emotions and feelings have been all over the place and I am not enjoying this. Granted, I've only been taking birth control for 2 months and all and I probably need to give it more time for me to adjust but I honestly hate how I get at times. I hate how it brings me down for now apparent reason. I hate feeling negative and depressed. I'm a happy go lucky person! I have many things to be happy about; such as: a job, a car, a very supportive boyfriend, a very supportive family, friends, a bank account that is still in the positive (for now), a healthy baby that didn't receive any prenatal care (except for the last 4 weeks), and other things. There are other people out there that have less than me, even though I don't know how they feel. But, even though I have all these 'good things', I am still fighting to survive and keep things in the positive (especially the bank account) and I know there is no way I would be where I am without Greg's help (and more than just financially).

UGH! There are so many things running through my mind; I can't organize them and put them down to comprehend what they are and mean!

Why it sucks being a girl (sometimes)

There are times that I hate being a female and one of those times is today.

I'm about to say some things that others, specifically guys, would consider to be "TMI", so read at your own risk...

I've been trying out different birth controls for the last two months, since giving birth to Amelia. During March, I was on YAZ, and that was the worst month ever. That birth control put me in emotional hell. I was very depressed, emotional, had no self confidense, and so much more! It was absolute hell. So, I called my doc and he gave me a new sample to try, Orthro-Tricyclene. So far so good. No emotional instability. Hooray for me. Now, here's where the "TMI" really kicks in; my cycle has started today and it's 4 days early which means that Greg and I can't have our 'playtime' this weekend in the hotel room that I reserved! Damnit all to hell! So, I've already called the hotel to cancel the reservations and called my Mom to let her know that I won't need her to babysit. And, to add to my already growing anger and frustration, this cycle is more painful than labor! My lower back is hurting oh so much. I took a Vicodine this morning cause I could hardly get out of bed without wincing in pain. The Vicodine only worked for about an hour. So, a co-worker gave me one of her 800mgs of Motrin pills. That was about an hour ago and I am still waiting for it to kick in. Anyway, I've called my docs office and told them what's going on and asked for a call back because, as usual, I have a lot of questions about what's going on.

And, to make this day better (note the sarcasim), Amelia was not a good baby last night. No, indeed she wasn't. She would not stay asleep. I was up at every hour either putting the nookie back in her mouth or comforting her due to the gas. Eventually, around 5am, I put her in bed with me. She continued to cry for a few minutes but did go to sleep. Then, she as wide awake by 6:30am. She woke me by kicking me on the stomache (before, she would keep me awake when she was kicking me while in utero). I believe I've gotten about 4 horus of sleep if I add up everything.

I sure as hell hope this day goes by fast and that Greg will be home on time.