Baby Update

So, this morning my cousin went into the hospital to be induced...

They started her on Petocin around 8:30am...

As of 5:30, she's had very little progression.

The nurse accidentally broke her bag of water, so once that was done my cousin opted for the epidurel.

So, now we just wait.

I was on the phone with her when the doctor came in, so Im going to call back later to see how she's doing...

I hope she'll have her baby by the time Greg and I make it down there tomorrow afternoon!!

Happy 4th!

Oy! What a day!

Damn hormones are starting to drive me nuts...

This morning, we wake up a little after 9am, feed Amelia and then Greg and Amelia decide to go back to bed. I get up and take a shower, go down stairs and eat left overs from last night and start to watch The De Vinci Code with Aaron. Amelia wakes up around 10:45am and I bring her downstairs with me. Finally, around 11:30, I tell Greg to wake up and get the day started. Greg didn't listen to me. I became mad. Finally, around 1pm, we head out to Marley Mall to get Amelia's first hair cut! Greg didn't believe me that the mall would be open, much less 'Cartoon Cuts'. I proved him wrong. Greg took a lot of pictures while Amelia was having her hair cut. Some are uploaded on my Flickr account.

Prior to leaving for the mall, Greg's Mom called and said she was going to cook on the grill and invited us over.

Last night, after I got home, I ran out to get some pet food for Max, the dog, and Oliver, my cat. On the way to the store, I ran over a nut (the ones that are used for with bolts) and got it wedged into the groove of the tred. I didn't think about it much and continued with the errand. Today, when we were done with Amelia's hair cut, we ran over to Sears Auto and they said it would take at least 2 hours before they could even get to my car. Greg and I pass and head over to Ellicott City. On the way to our destination, the nut came out and I had a flat. Yay! A flat on Rt 100 where people, like me, drive like a bat outta hell! Greg was trying to change the flat as I was trying to call roadside assistance when we receive help from a stranger! He changed my flat in like 5 minutes! We tried to pay the guy but he wouldn't accept anything from us. So now, we search for a place that can repair a flat or sell a new tire if needed, on the 4th of July. Surprisingly, NTB was open, and for $23, my tire was repaired. By now, it's about 3pm and we head out, again, to Ellicott City. Run into SuperFresh, pick up a few things, and head to Greg's place.
Once we arrived, a pretty good storm brewed it's ugly face. We even had hail!

So, for the 4th, we just hung out with Greg's family (Mom and 2 brothers). It was nice.

Now, about last night. Oh. Muh. Gawd. I loved Transformers the movie! I had a great time. With all that came, we took up and entire row! We didn't get out of the theater until 1:30am.

Prior to the movies, Greg and I went out to eat at Don Pablo's in Columbia. It's a TexMex place. It was nice. The food didn't have as much flavor as Chevy's, but enjoyable nonetheless. Our sever, on the other hand, wasn't so nice. Rarely there.

Anyway, it's late and I am tired. I will catch up tomorrow.

Feeling Great!

10 days until move in day!

Even my Mom is excited about Greg and I moving in together! She called me this morning, at work, to ask what the color scheme of our bathroom since she was already out shopping for us! I have the greatest Mom out there! She's been so supportive this year. She came up when I was admitted to the hospital in January for the pneumonia and while I was in, she cleaned the townhouse and got everything ready for the baby. And, when I was released, she continued to stay to help me while everyone was at work. Then, when my water broke, she took me to hospital and stayed until the wee hours of the morning. She went home around 3:30-4:00 am to get some rest and a shower, but she was back in time to see Amelia's birth, which made her so happy. She was crying with joy (as she did when she came to one of my appointments with the fetal monitoring people). Then, on the day that I started to bleed to death, I called her because I was scared (that day is still the scariest day of my life) and she came straight to the hospital. She even beat Greg! And, when Greg made it, Mom took Amelia home to take care of her while Greg stayed with me at the hospital. I wish I could have done more for Mom this past Mother's Day, but I just didn't have the funds available. But, I know she's going to have a great 48th Birthday. I've already bought her the purse that she wanted, an ice tea maker, a digital cooking thermometer (as she asked, and I quote "I want one like Alton Brown), and what ever else I decide to buy between now and July.

Mom is coming up on Wednesday, Just 27th, to help with the move; plus she has the crib and dresser for Amelia's room. And, she's bringing the truck and that means that Greg and I can return the U-Haul earlier and save us money.

Amelia is ready to try baby cereal, but I've been waiting for Mom to visit so she can be there for the first taste. The reason we know Amelia is ready is because she's licking everything she can put her hands on! It's so funny to watch her grab something, and even though she struggles a little with bringing her hand to her mouth, the first thing she does as soon as her hand is on the object is stick her tongue out to get a taste, and her tongue will stay out until the object makes it to her mouth. Greg and I laughed so much over the weekend just watching Amelia do this over and over. She would do this with her shirt, the Caterpillar rattle thing we bought, our hands, and whatever she reached (even her diaper{unused of course}).

A funny, but exciting, conversation Greg and I had over the weekend was about his company's Holiday Party. For the last 2 years, I've asked if he was going to invite me and he said no and he has two reasons why; 1. no mixing friends with co-workers; and 2. the last times he brought a date, either girlfriend or friend, bad things happened (such as, sickness at the party, date sleeping with someone else, etc); and that is why he never asked me to go with him. But, he did come to mine when I asked. So, anyway, I committed to Greg that I guess since we're living together and dating, then I must be going to his holiday party! He said "wha?!, wait a second here, what gave you that idea?" in a joking manor, and I explained my reasoning and he said "yeah, alright you can come and we're going to get you a new dress.". Yay! I'm getting a new dress! I get to show off my new body and sexy legs (as he says). When I went to the holiday party held by my current job, I was 8 months pregnant and wore a dress that I had back in 2001, which fit because of the big belly, but otherwise was too big. I didn't like the dress and how it looked on me. I can't wait to shop for a new dress and get myself all made up. I want to wow Greg and his co-workers!! Thankfully, I still haven't gained any weight since having Amelia, and now that Greg and I are going to be living together, we can eat better and take nice walks around the neighborhood after work.

Finally, it seems, that things are starting to work out for me and life. I haven't had the easiest, or best, childhood. I moved a lot, was homeless, and poor. My Mom raised my brother and me until she met Van. Mom and Van have been together for over 20 years. They haven't married and don't plan on it. But, Van has supported me and my family as if he were our father. It is because of Van, that I have learned a great deal about cars and all the cars I've ever owned, except for the Nissan, where helped by Van. We still moved a lot when I was younger. I hated being the new student every year. One year, the third grade, I went to three different schools. I can even name every elementary school I've been to: Thomas Stone Elementary, James McHenry Elementary, Mt. Rainer Elementary, Shady Side Elementary, and Tracy's Elementary.

In other news...

I finally settled the eBay dispute. Turns out, once I submitted a claim with PayPal about not receiving the item the seller immediately replies. According to the seller, she shipped the item 2 weeks ago, yet couldn't provide any proof when I asked. Also, she stated she never received my emails. So, the final result was either, offer a partial refund and send out half of what I ordered, or do a complete refund. I opted for a complete refund; which she's already completed.

This Saturday, the 23rd, Greg and I are going down to Waldorf for my cousins baby shower/pool party. I'm looking forward to the party! I haven't been swimming this year and can't wait. Plus, I get to buy a new swim suit since my old one is way too big. Also, Amelia has never been in a pool and I am curious as to how she's going to respond when I put her in; although I already have an idea: Scream until she looses her voice. It will be cute though. I can't wait to take the pictures.

I've noticed that I have some regular readers out there. Please, take a moment and introduce yourself! The regular readers come from Texas, New Jersey, North Carolina, and Maryland (excluding myself). I have an idea of who one Maryland reader is because the tracking program tells me they use a Mac and I know of three people in Maryland who use a Mac.

Greg and I are waiting to hear back from a place about a recent application. So far so good on the automatic response, but we want to talk to the actual place before we let our guard down. I've already told him to give them a call, but he's being a little hesitant.

Also, Greg is probably going to finally do something that I've been suggesting for a while. He's slightly irritated by something and he's ready to let go. I just hope he actually does it.

Moving on to the next subject...
*warning: I am going to talk about personal items so, read at your own discretion*

"Let's talk about sex, baby... Let's talk about you and me... Let's talk about all the good things and bad things there could be... Let's talk about sex"

A lot of things change with your body when you have a baby. Amongst the weight loss, healthier body (PCOS symptoms seem to have gone away, blood pressure healthy, etc), sex has changed as well. Before, I enjoyed sex and all it's pleasures from Greg while he was on top. But, now a days, sex is better if I am on top! Greg really enjoys this too. There are other positions that have improved since having Amelia as well, but I'm mainly talking about me being on top. Greg loves close sex, where were are as close to each other as possible. He says there's more of an emotional connection, which I can see his point of view. And, it's great to be able to lay on top of him, kissing and holding each other, while doing the deed. Something I've never done before with past 'deed doers'.

Sex with my ex was boring. With him, it was always the same position and he would always finish within two minutes. Plus, it was never really romantic or exciting or fun or anything else. It was just sex. Then, I met 'Willows' and he showed me a lot of things that my ex said wasn't possible because of my anatomy. Sex with 'Willows' was great! Energetic and fulfilling. For a while, 'Willows' and I would get together three times a week! I was doing all of this while my ex was still living with me. By then, my ex and I had stopped having sex. And, I told him what I was going to do and then when I did it, I told him what I was doing. It's not like I was keeping it a secret from him.

So, after a few months, 'Willows' and I moved on with our lives. I was taking classes at the community college and he was working a projects for work. 'Willows' and I still talk now-a-days. He's engaged and just bought a house. Now, the funny thing is, is that he still wants to 'get together'. I've told him about my relationship with Greg and that I am not interested, yet he still wants to meet for lunch or what not. Even though I've accepted his lunch offer in the past, we haven't yet been able to meet. At this point, I don't think I will just because it's time to move on with my relationship with Greg, and close those chapters from my past.

Anyway, back to sex after a baby... I just wanted to write to see if anyone else has experienced a change as such. I don't think the better sex is due to my feelings for Greg because I don't really associate emotions with sex; hence how I was able to have a few 'fwb's and not get attached; a rarity I was told by a few guys.

In conclusion, I'm the happiest I've been in a really long time. Things are going great, finally, for me; I have a great job, new car, new boyfriend, new home, wonderful friends, and all kinds of happy-go-lucky feelings!

Father's Day 2007

Today was Greg's first Father's Day! Boy, did we do a lot!

First, we arrived at Bill Bateman's for their Father's Day Brunch. The food was amazingly good; well, the stuff I ate at least. Greg's only complaint was that the waffles were a little bland. Anyway, there was an amazing selection to choose from. I loaded up on the bacon for some reason; just something I have been craving lately.

After breakfast, we head over to Babies-R-Us to get Amelia a hat. The bonnet that we bought back in April is either missing or at my Mom's. So, we bought Amelia her first baseball cap. While at the store, I asked Greg if we have a boy next, is he going to buy all sports related outfits and he said "Oh yes!" emphatically. It's kinda weird to think about having another baby, but at the same time it's kinda exciting.

Once we purchased the hat, we head to the ATM for Greg and then we're off to Camden Yards for our first game of the season and Amelia's first game ever. The ride to the stadium was nice. It wasn't crowded at all and I got an amazing parking spot! When we arrived at the stadium, we picked up the tickets at will call and walked to the ticket checker stand thingy and the lady asked us if this was Amelia's first game and we said yes and then she told us that we could get a certificate to remember the day! So, that's the first thing we did once we were in the stadium. Then, we went potty. LOL Once we were all done and settled, we went to our seats and I was upset about the seats because I specifically asked for seats on the end of the row and we were 5 seats from the end, and there were people on both sides of us. Now, mind you, we have packed Amelia's diaper bag, car seat, my purse, the snugglie, and Greg's camera bag. That's a lot! Next time we go to a game, I'm just going to buy another seat to put all the stuff we carry in. Amelia did pretty well at the stadium, for a while, and then she became really fussy and irritable. She was hot and sweaty and tired. She hasn't napped much at all by this point. I tried to hold her and comfort her but she just kept screaming at the top of her lungs! Finally, Greg and I were like, 'ok, we need to get her out of here' and start to pack up. By now, it's only the second inning! And, as soon as I put Amelia in her car seat, she was out cold! So, Greg and I stayed a little longer. After about 15 minutes or so, we decided to move our seats because it was so cramped. We made it through 5 innings and decided to head home. We both got a lot of sun and we wanted to beat the crowd. Next game is going to be a evening game.

Once we made it home, we fed Amelia and placed her in the crib, then Greg and I rubbed aloe lotion on each other for the sun burns, then Greg and I lied next to each other and chatted. Much about nothing really, but it just felt good to be in his arms.

This whole weekend, Greg and I talked about our future together. We talked about goals for us, rather than a goal for him or I. One goal that we talked about is buying our first house and what we need to do to get there. We both agree that we need to improve our credit scores. The last time I checked mine was either just before Amelia was born or when I returned to work. I can't remember. And, when Greg opened up his checking account with Wachovia on Saturday, they game him his current credit score. So, we know where we stand and we've placed a goal of what number we want to achieve before we start looking for a house. We talked about how we are going to achieve this goal and how we're going to do so for each other.

This relationship with Greg is completely different than any relationship I've ever experienced. I know I've mentioned this before, but I just can't seem to get over how much happier I am with Greg. It's really like a dream or wish come true while I am with him. He's so caring, compassionate, dedicated to Amelia, loving and so many other emotions that words can not describe. Greg is always more than willing to help me, even before I ask him to do so. Even though he doesn't live with Aaron, Sean, and me, he helps clean the townhouse (like take the trash out, load and unload the dishwasher, straighten the living room, etc). When ever I am upset about something (and this happens more often than it used to), Greg always wants to talk about what's bothering me and he means it. He wants to make me happy, even if he's the reason I am upset. He tells me over and over how good our relationship is because we are so open with each other; and I agree with him. I believe what makes this relationship different and better than the ones we've experienced in the past is because 1. we're completely open and honest with each other; 2. we have the same goals in life, separate and combined; 3. we have so much in common, in all aspects of life; 4. this is real. we are not settling to appease us or for Amelia. neither one of us is giving up something to be in a relationship to have that status. everything that I feel for greg and that he feels for me is true and not because either of us feel that 'we have to'. We know the feelings are not superficial, as they have been with past relationships (on both sides), and that what we are feeling for each other is deep and not something that fades away; 5. we are not needy of one another, meaning that we both know we like time to ourselves and don't cry when one of us isn't paying attention to another. I know greg likes his gaming time and that's something I'm not going to take away from him, or have him change, just like I like my tv time or reading time. Neither one of us expects the other to give up something that we enjoy to make the other happy.

Wednesday Woes

I still don't feel very cheerful and the headache isn't helping matters.

Tomorrow afternoon I head down to Nanjemoy to meet Mom, do a little funeral shopping and then go to the viewing, then Friday afternoon is the actual funeral at St. Joseph Church in Pomfret, MD. St. Jospeh Church is my family church. It's really small but neat. That is where my Grandma's family is buried and that is where my Poppop's family is buried. The last burial I went to was when Pop died last June. His funeral was a military funeral and it had the whole 21 gun salute and everything. It was moving and interesting at the same time. Also, that was the last time I saw Adam in person. Wait, scratch that; the last burial funeral I went to was this past November when Van's mom died. But, the one before that was Pops funeral last June. So, this makes three funerals in less than a year. The other two deaths were cremations and they were my Aunt in Dec 05 and Adams Dad in Sept 06. So much death in so little time.

Greg talked to the condo people last night and set up a time on Saturday to check the place out. I am getting excited about this possibility and I really hope we get to rent it. The owners are looking for 3 year tenants which is something Greg and I are more than interested in doing. It would be nice to have a home, so to speak. The last 5 years I've moved three times. Genreally, I move every two years, but I also moved last summer and I am planning on moving again this summer. What's nice is that my half of the rent is only going to increase by $50 and Greg and I are going to share everything else. We already know how much the cable bill is going to be since I have an exsisting account, as well as our cell phones, car insurance, etc. The only unknown is the BG&E bill. At the townhouse, the bill never went over $200 in a months worth of usage. But, the condo uses natural gas and has a gas fireplace, so that could increase the bill some. But, my job supports BG&E and I could enroll in a fixed rate... something to consider.

I feel so thankful that Greg is such an understanding and tolerating person. He listens to me when something is bothering me. I can talk to him about anything, whether it's negative or positive. He's open to me about his ex girlfriends when I ask questions. He tolerates my weird emotional moods. He understands that I am blaming these weird emotional moods on my birth control (even though I am no where near as bad as I was in March). He's also very supportive. I know I can count on him for anything at anytime. Like, all the times I've locked myself out of the house, he always came to my rescue, or when I was out of work for 2 months, Greg put money in my bank account so that my bills will get paid and my account won't go into the negative, or that scary day on January 22 when I started to, literally, bleed to death and the doctors office told me to call 911, I called Greg because I was scared and I wanted him to be with me and he dropped everything at work and came over (just before the ambulance did) and he took care of Amelia, who was only 10 days old, and Max, the dog, while I was rushed to the hospital and when everything was said and done, Greg took two days off of work to take care of me and Amelia as I recoverd from the emergency D&C and blood transfusion. So much has happened to me this year. Some good and some bad (mainly the bad is the physical stuff from January). At least the good out weighs the bad in more ways than one. But, there is one bad, though it didn't happen to me but it affects me, that can potentally effect a good. But, to name some of the good: A steady job; supportive family; Greg; my friends; finally filing for divorce; a healthy baby; and so much more. Some of the bad: my stubborn mental emotion that won't let go; the thing that happend in Greg's past that affects our future living together; a car that now has 190K miles on it; to name the top three.

In other news...

I received a credit card offer in the mail last night and I went online to 'enroll' since I was only pre-qualified, and to my surprise I was accepted! Now, the down side of this card is that it has a extreamly high annual fee of $150. Yeah, that's high as hell. But, my plan is to use the card to re-establish my credit rating to help me get a better deal for my future car. Last Novemeber, I accepted another credit card offer that is the exact same as the one I did last night. The bonus with this card is that I have a 0.0% interest rate that is guarenteed as long as I make my payments on time and don't go over the credit limit, which I've been able to do. And, they have already increased my credit limit! Whoohoo! So, this year, aside from all the challenges that I've faced, I am still able to improve something that will help me in the future: My Credit Score. Now, I am thinking of adding Greg to my newest credit card since he doesn't have one and it would be nice for him to have something just in case for an emergancy, like gas or something like that. Plus, if we ever want to rent a car I believe we would need a credit card, or so I believe. I haven't talked to Greg about it but I don't think he'll reject the idea. Although, I am curious if I add him to my account if the credit card company will also report to the credit agencies for him. Anyway, my current credit card asks for a minimum payment of $20 and I ususally send $40 or more. Plus, with my new job and such, I am positive that I can pay Greg's Dell bill and my two credit cards. No sweat.

Adam sent me an email last night stating that he still hasn't found a job. I have no idea what I would be doing if he and I were still together. It was stressful enough when he was on paid administrative leave from Nov. 04 to Feb. 05 and then he was just on unemployment. Adam has had a few small jobs here and there since Nov. 04 but nothing long term or didn't last longer than 4-6 months. I know he's not doing well, emotionally, because he is so hung up on his pride. That's one thing I didn't understand about him; he would rather not work at a place because it would hurt his pride than be unemployed and on unemployement. Gee, I would figure the latter would be more hurtful than working at a temp service or, heaven forbid, McDonalds. But, Adam isn't a very sociable person. He doesn't get along well with others that don't share his personal views of the world, especially about politics. The only thing that Adam and I had in common was music and a few televison shows or movies. Other than that, we were on different views or beliefs about everything else.

While Greg and I were friends, he gave me a view of what I should look for in a person and that I should never settle. Greg is everything I've ever wanted or needed in a person. He has all the qualities I could ever dream about and then some. He set the bar for any future relationships and to my pleasure, he and I have fallen in love with each other. The feeling of being in love is amazaing and freightful at the same time. The reason I say freightful because you know that if you break-up with someone that you have fallen in love with it's going to hurt like you've never felt before and for me, that is something I fear. I have been hurt in the pass but I was never in love with someone and if Greg and I do not work out and when (or if) we come to that realization, it's going to knock me off my feet and I honestly hope that pain is something I never have to feel.

It has taken me all day to write this. I started in the morning and now it's 2:05pm. I also wrote on my private blog. I've decided to stop writing at Y! and to do a completely private blog. That way, I can reopen my Y! 360 blog though I am going to remove the private posts I wrote on there and put them at my new private location.

This day has been slow and I've been procrastination a lot of things. I am just not in the mood to work but at the same time I would rather be here than at home. I just love how my brain makes me feel.

Death

This morning I received an email from my Grandma that my Uncle Pat has died. He was recently diagnosed with cancer and he lost the battle.

We knew Uncle Pat wasn't going to survive and this was another reason my Mom wanted Amelia for a week, to introduce her to Uncle Pat since Uncle Pat is my Mom's Fathers Brother and they were pretty close. Mom didn't get the chance.

This is the 5th funeral in less than two years for me, two of which have been related to cancer.

The funeral is this Friday and I am planning on leaving Thursday afternoon for a couple of reasons: The funeral is all the way in Port Tobacco, way down in Chuck Co. and secondly, I have absolutely no clothes to wear. None whatsoever! So, Mom has offered to take Amelia and I shopping for clothes, besides Mom says she needs new shoes and I told her she needs to upgrade her cellphone. So, with that list of tasks we're thinking of meeting at Charles Co. Mall on Thursday afternoon.

I am sad. I haven't seen Uncle Pat in years but I have wonderful memories of him. Mostly, I remember as a kid, my cousin April and I, playing at his huge farm house. He used to be a tobacco farmer. April and I would play in Tracy's room. Tracy was the daughter of Uncle Pat and Aunt Diane and she died in 1981 due to a car accident with her boyfriend. They are buried together. Her death was the reason Aunt Diane and Uncle Pat seperated though they never divorced and they remained best friends. April and I at the time didn't realize what we were doing